Cassablanca Posted November 23, 2010 Posted November 23, 2010 Hey there, So I have moved back to my home country for a bunch of reasons after 6 years in the UK: a) It saves money to live under my parents roof b) I left my bf of 5 years so the break up left me feeling like I needed a bit of support from my family, also a change in environment helped. c) the employment situation for my profession is much better here than in London - in fact, this should be the most important reason. My mother is at the top of her profession in my city, and everyone knows who she is in that particular field. I chose a profession which is similar to hers, in fact she employs people with my profession. I am not mentioning my profession in case the world is too small on here! so when I went on interviews around my city (and I have pretty much met everybody in my field here now - its a very small community for my profession), EVERYBODY knows who my mother is. Of course they are praising her and asking me 'why don't you just work for her? Her company is the most established here'. Well, I love my mother. And I appreciate that she has made a name for herself and that she is number 1 in her career over here. I also know that she would like me to work for her, even if it is just for 1 day a week (My profession allows for me to work in several places/businesses during the week). But every day I come home and report to her about my day, what I did etc etc. When I was in London she called me once a week or every 2 weeks. Now that I am home she calls me several times a day, and freaks out if she does not hear from me. Always wants to know what exactly I am getting up to, like I'm a teenager. I guess that is besides the point and I should make another thread on children in their mid twenties returning home to live under their parents roof. Back to working with mom - the point is I just see her so often anyway, that working with her is kind of too close to home for me. My mother as my boss? I just worry that I am gonna lose focus of the boundaries, or that she will. I almost feel like I can't be myself in front of her, whereas if I started at a new company where nobody knew me, I could have have a fresh slate. Granted prospective employers in this city will know I am her daughter, even then I will feel more comfortable to establish myself. Does that make any sense? The staff at her firm have known me for years growing up, becoming their colleagues is just a little awkward for me. The other thing I worry about is telling people that I did end up working for my mom. It just sounds like I was given a pity job, despite the fact that I am actually getting a ton of offers at the moment, but my moms company just happens to be the best. I know I shouldnt care what people think, maybe I am too sensitive. Has anyone ever worried about this or been through this? At the moment I havent given my mother a definite yes about working for her. I just feel like if I do work there, there is more pressure to be perfect, after all she is my mother and I have spent my life trying to impress her, and I just fear her being disappointed that I might not be as good as the rest of her staff etc. I know I am only newly qualified in my profession so I am allowed to make mistakes. But I just don't want to make those mistakes in front of my mother, thats all.
x_wednesday_x Posted November 28, 2010 Posted November 28, 2010 Dear Cassablanca, I think you have a really wonderful mother who truly cares of you. But at the same time, may be caring a little too much, seeing her calling you so many times a day. If you really feel uncomfortable with the idea of working with your mum, perhaps you should try branching out and establishing yourself. Afterall, you can always come back and work with her if you want to. Perhaps you can have a talk with her about this. And don't you worry about making mistakes, the truth is everyone does it, nobody's perfect, I'm sure your mother does it sometimes too. So don't you think too much about it and be yourself. Learning is a life long process afterall right? I hope I did some good. Take care now
Author Cassablanca Posted December 14, 2010 Author Posted December 14, 2010 I appreciate your reply - I have been asking for advice on this elsewhere too and you have all said the same thing - thank you, time to go make those mistakes
Recommended Posts