Dead Dead Dead Afraid

[Wolfie]

Okay, there's this girl; of course there's a girl; I definitely would say I've been in love with her for over a year.

 

I'm a high school student, as is she, of course; and I've never had a girlfriend before; never wanted one actuallly; never felt for any girl ever.

 

Also, I've basically been socially retarded my entire life. Not to say I don't have friends, but I'm very shy and have a huge problem talking to strangers--small-talking, things like that.

 

Anyway, this girl knows I like her, and she's kind of been nice about it, but I think I've pissed her off lately. As I said, I have problems talking to people I don't know, and I've hardly said a word to her in the past two years; and we've shared a couple classes and now share a class together. I can't ever talk infront of her when spoken by other people around.

 

Because I'm so shy, I'm pretty unpopular; though I don't really care. I 've really care about anything. And that just has been fine for me 'til just now; I miss when I felt nothing - no good, no bad. Now, it's all bad. I can't distract myself.

 

I've wasted a so much time; I don't want to do that anymore. But, it seems to me girls my age are always with someone two years older or so; I only see that she's interested in older guys. It's so damn frustrating. I don't know what to do. Why even bother? It'll go nowhere.

 

Anyhow, I'm sick of this feeling. It's all-day and stops me from doing my work. I don't talk to her because I'm of course 'fraid of rejection, I just have no idea what to do. I really feel like improving myself, but I also wouldn't know how to that.

 

She's what I'd call a prep, overheard her say she's 16th in class rank. She's pretty smart. Myself, I don't try at all so I've terrible grades. I'm not so good-looking, mainly 'cause I get no exercise, no sleep, and don't comb my hair, etc.; then again, she isn't much good-looking either; but she does fix herself up enough for guys to be interested in her and piss me off.

 

I know it seems as though I don't know her all that well, but could you just believe me when I say she's a good-hearted person? I so feel as though I shouldn't really go on in life without her.

 

The problem I think is she just doesn't seem as though she'd ever come to like me, and I really need to end this feeling.

 

God damnit; can't think straight. I haven't slept well in few days (because of all this incidently).

[Iamhappy]

she isn't much good-looking either; but she does fix herself up enough for guys to be interested in her and piss me off

 

Huh?

 

I so feel as though I shouldn't really go on in life without her.

 

That's a scary statement.

 

Not talking to her isn't really going to solve anything. You could speculate from now until the world ends but you won't get an answer to your question until you ask it.

[Wolfie]

Yeah, I'm not sure myself what I meant by that first quote. Anyway, "I so feel as though I shouldn't really go on in life without her." that is pretty creepy, but I really don't see how I could be happy with anyone else. How unhealthy is that?

 

Just what do I ask her? Er...please.

[Iamhappy]

but I really don't see how I could be happy with anyone else. How unhealthy is that?

 

Really unhealthy, but given your age and the environment you're in, I suppose it's par for the course. I remember what high school was like.

 

You've barely spoken to her the past two years, so how do you know that she knows you like her? When you talked to her, what did you talk to her about?

 

Is she single? Do you want to ask her out?

 

Are you scared to ask her out because you don't try (to get good grades, to fix yourself up, etc.)?

 

What do you really know about her? Do you have common interests?

 

Oh, Dyer, where are you?

[dyermaker]

Originally posted by Wolfie

I really don't see how I could be happy with anyone else. How unhealthy is that?

 

Okay, primarily, you don't love her. You're into her a lot, but the more you associate this obsession with her with the term 'love', the harder it will be cognitively to get over the obsession, if that's what you're going to do. Come to think of it, it's going to be hard to pursue a relationship with that attitude as well. Women, and to some extent, all people, don't like relationships to come prepackaged. No one wants to go into a relationship with someone who already has everything planned out, because it limits her role in the exciting discovery of romance.

 

So drop it.

 

Lie to yourself, each and every morning, that you just don't care. You don't care about school, nor your appearance, so you've told us, so treat her like she's an assignment. Sit in the back of the class, and bring her down from Goddess to wretch, in your mind. See her as someone just like you, no girl (truly) wants to be worshipped, they want to be loved--and to love is to understand--and to understand is to be obtained through mutual communication and willingness, so you can't go into it with those already, as I said earlier, 'prepackaged'.

 

First of all, start caring about your appearance. I don't mean in an A and F kind of way, I mean comb your hair, brush your teeth, etc--it doesn't take much (those who have seen my picture, and a picture of her , have to know that ) but it does take some effort. Put all this energy you are using to obsess into yourself. MAKE yourself something to be wanted, TELL yourself that you're worth being in a relationship with.

 

Ahora, tell us some stuff about this girl, stuff that you could use to your advantage when informing her of your attraction to her.

[Wolfie]

You've barely spoken to her the past two years, so how do you know that she knows you like her? When you talked to her, what did you talk to her about?

Well, for about a week, I kept staring at her, and she caught me; every time; Very weird. Anyway, we sat next to eachother for a while in a class, and we had to group up occasionally. Conversations were pretty one-sided. I could never say anything. Of what did I talk to her? The assignment at hand.

 

 

Is she single? Do you want to ask her out?

It seems that she is, but I'm always wrong about stuff like that. Do I want to ask her out? No. Would I like to go out with her, yeah.

 

 

Are you scared to ask her out because you don't try (to get good grades, to fix yourself up, etc.)?

Yes, I'm pretty worthless as it is.

 

What do you really know about her? Do you have common interests?

I know she doesn't like eating because she comes to be full to easily; I know her skin's easily bruised; I know she watches pro-basketball and baseball; I she likes writing; she likes the older episodes of Friends, but not the old newer ones. Not much I know, but what I know, I don't not like. What did I just say? Again, sleep, I'll come by tomorrow.

[Wolfie]

Well, I certainly wouldn't like it, (the pre-packaging)

And, lie to myself, that I can do.

First of all, start caring about your appearance. I don't mean in an A and F kind of way, I mean comb your hair, brush your teeth, etc--it doesn't take much (those who have seen my picture, and a picture of her , have to know that ) but it does take some effort. Put all this energy you are using to obsess into yourself. MAKE yourself something to be wanted, TELL yourself that you're worth being in a relationship with.

Okay.

Ahora, tell us some stuff about this girl, stuff that you could use to your advantage when informing her of your attraction to her.

She's, uh, Christian--an involved one. Seems pretty important to her.

[Spastic_Gramps]

your in HS, when you look around at your class I guaranttee there are 10 other dudes who feel just like you and sitting there wondering what the hell is going on. Its called infatuation, pretty much every guy goes through it. You've already pointed out your weakness; go clean up, shower, and shave. Girls are attracted to clean, well kept guys. It definetly doesn't work the other way around.

 

This is just a personal suggestion, if it doesn't suit you don't worry about just heed the advice given above cause that is imperative. The easiest and "pimpest" way to dress to impress is either black trousers/jeans, gray shirt, and black jacket. You don't have to be a supermodel or any stupid **** like that. Just dress confindently and whenever you walk into a room tell yourself "I'm the $h|t", train yourself to look at girls in the eye and smile when they pass you by, no matter how hot they are and how intimidated you are. Confidence is everything and you got it. Whenever you walk into the room just always say to yourself, "I'm the coolest, badest, and most genuine futhermuker in this room." Tease 'em a lil bit, keep em guessing about what is gonna come out of your mouth next (nothing dirty or dimented, that's a no no). Any girl who can't it handle can roll out.

 

You already know what she likes, so just ask lots and lots and lots of questions. See us guys have it easy. Just ask lots and lots of questions. And I bet while she is answering all those questions about what she likes you WILL find a connection with her an kick off a badass conversation.

 

Oh and about rejection, I can't honestly think of anything that scared me more in HS. I would seriously have rather been drawn and quartered (ripped apart by horses) than been rejected. But ya know this is your only life, this is the only time your gonna be in HS, live while you can. If you think your mind is in turmoil now, thats not even 1/100th of what it will be 4 years from now knowing you did nothing to make a move on this girl.

[kurse888]

Dude you need to resolve this. I also had a similar experience in HS. I don't recommend telling her how you feel right off the back but you need to move forward. Get to know her better try harder and harder to talk to her and find excuses to be around her. Then ask her out. I know it's hard dude but the payoff could be well work the effort. Like they said on The Sopranos more is lost from indecision than wrong decision. First though find out if she is single for sure.

You said the conversations are one sided change that!!

 

 

Look if she says no well at least she knows where you stand and if she changes her mind then all the better. If nothing else you can put this behind you and go on with your life.

And it wouldn't hurt to comb your hair

[Xiloscient]

drawn and quartered (ripped apart by horses)

 

[font=times new roman]First off, just for the record, drawn and quartered wasn't really that. It was where you were publicly disembowled and then your guts "drawn" out of you. All while you're alive...Oh, and you don't die from loos of blood...You die from pain. ^.^ Anywho...

 

I seem to have somewhat of the same problem as Wolfie here...But it is different in some ways. I think of myself as the low(not lowest) but I've been told different by most of my friends that are girls. I don't have the problem of speechlessness when I'm talking to "A" {For attraction} and there is minor flirting going on. But the only thing I have a problem with is getting the right words "Would you like to go to a movie with me?" to come out. I've just kept freezing...any advice?[/font]

[dyermaker]

Originally posted by Xiloscient

..any advice?

 

Impress the ladies with your knowledge of archaic execution techniques.

[Xiloscient]

[font=times new roman]Tried it. Doesn't work. [/font]

[dyermaker]

Anyways, it's always a bit too awkward if you think about it so much. If things are going well, flat out say:

 

[Her name], I really want to take you to see ______, would you?

 

Then give her a date and time. If she can't do it, suggest an alternate time. If she can't make the second, and doesn't offer a counter-offer (a specific one, not the ironic 'sometime definitely') let it go, you didn't catch this one.

[Xiloscient]

[font=times new roman]*sigh* So I've heard. Well, thanks for another point of view that has been the same as everything else I've heard. [/font]