afroman Posted November 23, 2010 Posted November 23, 2010 Been with this girl for the past two years, lived with her for the past 6 months and recently she decided to move out and back with her parents and had said she was not ready for such a serious relationship, but still wanted to be together but that 'things will be a bit different for a while'. I was extremely upset as I was not completely convinced by the idea of living together, but did it because it would give me a place close to school, and because I love her. So I basically left for a week to think about things, she had left me a note at our appartment saying that she knew I was the one for her and she loved me and wanted to marry me one day but that she was too young and that she needed to focus on herself. After a week of not talking we had a discussion about to why she felt this way... didn't have any real answers for me but I felt terrible and we kind of turned away from it and made up anyways... she needed to stay at the appartment that same night because of work, yet she felt the need to sleep on the couch for the 2 nights instead of in our old bed together. This really bothered me, so I stayed away the night she planned to go back to her parents. Later that night she texted me asking me what I thought she meant by 'not being ready for this' which I answered for such a serious relationship.Which she didnt really have anything to say but 'yeah'. This really just got to me so I replied back, 'well if you're not happy then I've got to let you go, if we were meant to be then it will happen in our future, but right now because I love you it's got to end' to which she replied that she was so sorry and that she made things move too fast and that'd she regret it forever. After a week of not talking to her she texted me tonight, simply 'Hi' which I coldly answered back hi, she asked how I was and I said good, without asking her back... then she said that she missed me. I replied back 'When are you back in town, we should do something, I miss you too' she said 'Thursday, but only for the day I have an interview for a new job Friday' to which I answered that I was going out for dinner that night that we should another time. Then she kind of 180'd and said I'm just gonna leave you alone now, hope everythings good with you, goodnight and hope you got that job or whatever (she found this out from facebook) and I didn't answer back. I'm really confused... I love this girl so much... she's made me happier than any girl before. I want to reconcile and start with her again. In a way I feel like she's lost interest in me and was just trying to let me down slow, but why would she said that she wanted to marry me one day. What should I do?
Trovador Posted November 24, 2010 Posted November 24, 2010 Many of us on this forum share a similar story... out the blue, your gf says (or acts according to) the spark exists no more, even after showing just a few hours or days before the opposite... it's heartbreaking, to say the least, and our egoes don't help things at all... it might be another guy, fear of commitment or simply she doesn't see you under the same light... You should put some distance between you and her... give her some slack, let her think but above all take some time for you... mabye what I am going to tell you is a stupid thing but don't take it personal, you know, in my case I walked away with my head high because she was the one with the issues, by not having me she will have to settle for someone lesser than me... Best course now is to step back, it's painful but if you are one of the good guys you know that you acted all the good you could at the current circumstances... the faster you accept her decision, the faster you will heal... I wished I had saved some dignity all those times back when I begged and stayed around her...
hoping2heal Posted November 24, 2010 Posted November 24, 2010 sounds like she realised she didn't have those kind of feelings for you, then went looking for an ego boost when she was down one night, got it and then ran off.
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