stoploss11 Posted November 23, 2010 Posted November 23, 2010 When can you, if ever, confront your love? There are so many answers that I seek. Will they even help? Everything I see or hear sends me into a crazy paranoia. I am OM but she is not married. SHe lives with her babydaddy. I wish I knew certain things so I can stop hurting.
pureinheart Posted November 23, 2010 Posted November 23, 2010 ((((((((((((HUGS))))))))))) Wow, my heart goes out to you, it is an extremely uncomfortable situation that can cause a person to feel and be completely out of control. OK...you've got to get YOU together....it sounds like your trippin and obsessing (which is normal). You can't change her or the sitch, but you can change you and how you handle this within you. May I ask if her sitch is abusive, meaning is babys daddy abusive?....she's with you for a reason, and I'm not sure what your outcome will be but I want you to be ok....k....please keep us posted and updated....
OWoman Posted November 23, 2010 Posted November 23, 2010 When can you, if ever, confront your love? SL, if you feel you can't confront your lover, it's not a healthy R. In a healthy R, both parties feel confident, happy and comfortable. If something causes them unease, they address it. If they can't resolve it, and an acceptable compromise (note - compromise: both parties yield, not just one) can't be found, they cut their losses and move on. It sounds as if you're more invested than she is, and that you're unhappy, lacking in confidence and uncomfortable in the R. That is not healthy, and it is not sustainable long-term. You need to challenge things, take back the power you've lost and either forge a healthy R out of what you have, or accept that it can never be that and move on. Good luck!
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