Green Posted November 24, 2010 Posted November 24, 2010 That's because the girl was obviously into him. If I knew that a girl was into me, damn right I'd be aggressive. It's a low risk situation. As I stated in my post, girls are very rarely into me, so I can't be aggressive when all it's going to do is make them mad. Well The first gf I had was in my mind "obviously" in to me. But I told my friend why I thought she was into me and he was like "That girl wow shes so pretty, sounds like she was JUST BEING FRIENDLY" well if I had taken his advice.... who knows where I'd be now maybe still never having had a gf... but I TRIED and I HAD NOTHING TO LOSE.........NOTHING.... and I gained great memories and the knowledge of WOMEN arn't these invincible imposible creatures... their HUMAN just like you and me. STOP worrying abouting makeing girls MAD or CREEPED OUT... AND TRY and DON"T BE AFRAID OF REJECTIOn you havn't lost anything. The OP is a girl and she is afraid of REJECTION (as most women are) thats why as a man WE HAVE TO FACE THE REJECTION and be the ones to put ourselves out there. Look you can be HORNY in a way a WOMAN will never know. USE THAT HORNYNESS to your advantage. YOur depression will only make getting to the ULTIMATE HORNY level imposible. Whens the last time you had a boner so hard it was throbing and felt like it was going to burst..... dammit man u have nothing to lose and everything to gain by not worrying about things likt "reciprocated romantic love" ... shouldn't even be on ur radar!!!!!!!!! Cmon Somedude u got this and you know what to do and YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE and what your dreams are. Dont give me this SCARED TAKE CARE OF ME talk cause in that case your right girls do have the power... BUT UR WRONG and U KNOW IT!
Surrealist Posted November 24, 2010 Posted November 24, 2010 Absolutely! But attraction is just the first stage, and it's mostly hormonal, even if we try to rationalize it as something more. But that's not "love". I think a lot of people who have a lot of short relationships that start fast and end fast think that's "love". It's not. It's just infatuation. Love is a combination of emotional intimacy and shared values, and it takes a long time to develop. There's no such thing as love at first sight. Certainly I agree with you there. I've often commented that infatuation and love are two entirely different things. I use to wonder why two people who fall madly in love (infatuation) so often encounter an aprupt end to their relationship only months down the track. It would be very advisable to people here who don't understand the difference between love and infatuation to do what I did.... Namely read up on some good material that explains the dynamic. I cannot remember the names of the books I read, it was some years ago, but it was an eye-opening fascinating read and insight into the infatuation vs love thing. In short, infatuation is selfish and unrealistic, it is a fantasy and puts tremendous pressure on the partner to fulfil those unrealistic fantasies. No wonder people given to these feelings find their romantic relationships failing rather than maturing and growing.
Els Posted November 25, 2010 Posted November 25, 2010 I know it happens to women as well. But it's not as common. I think the ratio is something like, for every one unrequited love she has for a guy, three guys have it for her. But it could be much more lopsided. Heck, I think I had about 15 cases of unrequited love throughout my life. Meaning I've had huge crushes on about 15 different girls from ages 13 to 29 and they all rejected me. While I've only heard of four girls being interested in me. One I didn't hear about till years later when the girl's friend told me. Of the three who told me, I gave two of them a shot, and they ultimately rejected me. That last girl was simply undateable. Women have guys crushing on them, all the time. Many guys keep it to themselves and just don't let her know. Uh, I really don't think you should use yourself as the gold standard for all men. No offense intended, but you indiscriminately crush on almost every single woman whom you have some interaction with - not all men are that way. Yes, they may imagine having sex with their female friends, or wanting to be FWB with her, but not in the 'I want to have a relationship with her' sense. In terms of that, I have observed equal proportions in the men and women I know, and also myself. Btw, do you think you would have heard or known of all the girls who have had crushes on you? Just as you kept some to yourself, surely some girls would have done the same. FYI, I don't think the 4 or so guys I've had an unrequited crush on in my lifetime ever knew, because I never told anyone about it - maybe one was picking up hints, but that's about it.
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