LuckyClover Posted November 23, 2010 Posted November 23, 2010 Today I got told that I need to work on my flirting. She asked me what it was that made me give her my phone number. I only saw her in the supermarket with a friend and they were playing around, she got embarrassed from her friend taking her beanie hat off showing her hair being messy, I just said don't worry it's cute. And then we exchanged a few more common back and forth conversation stuff... you know subtle flirty stuff. She texted me like 5 mins after i gave her my number, she didn't ask for it or anything, I just wrote it down handed it to her and said here call me as I walked away. Anyway we've texted a little and I have no idea what to ask or say. My reply to her question why i gave her my number was that i like her free spirited personality and her refreshing smile. Ya that didn't go over well.. she replyed cheese lucky what did you lose your mojo. I don't know how to play this flirty game really.. What would be some flirty things to say that aren't offensive to women? What do they want to hear that doesn't make me sound creepy or boring? A little help please would be apprieciated. Thanks.
Author LuckyClover Posted November 23, 2010 Author Posted November 23, 2010 K. I'll keep being myself then, I'm good at that anyway. If she losses interest then maybe the next won't. But I don't do much besides work and kids and that isn't exactly fun and exciting.
hoping2heal Posted November 24, 2010 Posted November 24, 2010 Oh that makes perfect sense. There is a new rule - 24 is the new 20, and 18 is the new 14. This applies to the emotional maturity level of women in this era and it is stunningly accurate. I thought she sounded 17..and she is 23..a perfect match . The first flirting tip I can give you is to bypass women in their twenties who act like teenagers. They are all springtime skippers. Lively, spirited, pretty, and with the attention span of a gerbil. They do not understand what having a functional adult relationship is yet. They are caught up in having fun and talks about the future are just meandering notions because it sounds fun and "Cute" at the time. You need substance, brains, and some maturity. You are 33. By no means are you an old dog, but you are too old to be playing around in the kiddie pool for dates.
sfranks1492 Posted November 24, 2010 Posted November 24, 2010 I wouldn't worry about being anything but "YOU". If you pretend now, you are putting on a fake front. She isn't worth it if she doesn't like you for WHO YOU ARE..
Disillusioned Posted November 24, 2010 Posted November 24, 2010 They need to give mandatory flirt classes in high schools for body-language illiterates like me. Also courses on how to develop your mind-reading abilities.
fishtaco Posted November 24, 2010 Posted November 24, 2010 Oh that makes perfect sense. There is a new rule - 24 is the new 20, and 18 is the new 14. This applies to the emotional maturity level of women in this era and it is stunningly accurate. I thought she sounded 17..and she is 23..a perfect match . The first flirting tip I can give you is to bypass women in their twenties who act like teenagers. They are all springtime skippers. Lively, spirited, pretty, and with the attention span of a gerbil. They do not understand what having a functional adult relationship is yet. They are caught up in having fun and talks about the future are just meandering notions because it sounds fun and "Cute" at the time. You need substance, brains, and some maturity. You are 33. By no means are you an old dog, but you are too old to be playing around in the kiddie pool for dates. Hahaha, that is one fine post. It is unfortunately very accurate.
Author LuckyClover Posted November 24, 2010 Author Posted November 24, 2010 Ya I have no idea... I'm suppose to me married, looking forward to retirement with my spouse. This is not what I planned to be doing at 33. I didn't even really date before I was married in 03'. I just let them hang around me while I was invited to fun stuff to do. Now no real friends, two kids, and I live in a small town in Utah where everyone wants to look morman in public and take drugs and drink alcohol in private. I don't even know what to do for fun anymore. I'm so occupied with my kids and work.. I can't meet people I work with because I'm 1 of 11 salaried managers who aren't allowed to be friends with the other 400 people that work there. Ugh.. I look 24/25 and i'm 33.. so of course I attract the younger crowd, not to mention it's a college town... so if anyone new is in town, they are of that college age group. I thought about transfering to California or someplace bigger but I just couldn't live without my kids... so I feel stuck between a rock and a hard place. oh well...
fishtaco Posted November 24, 2010 Posted November 24, 2010 Ya I have no idea... I'm suppose to me married, looking forward to retirement with my spouse. This is not what I planned to be doing at 33. I didn't even really date before I was married in 03'. I just let them hang around me while I was invited to fun stuff to do. Now no real friends, two kids, and I live in a small town in Utah where everyone wants to look morman in public and take drugs and drink alcohol in private. I don't even know what to do for fun anymore. I'm so occupied with my kids and work.. I can't meet people I work with because I'm 1 of 11 salaried managers who aren't allowed to be friends with the other 400 people that work there. Ugh.. I look 24/25 and i'm 33.. so of course I attract the younger crowd, not to mention it's a college town... so if anyone new is in town, they are of that college age group. I thought about transfering to California or someplace bigger but I just couldn't live without my kids... so I feel stuck between a rock and a hard place. oh well... Oh... man... that's rough. People that have been married for a long time tend to be disconnected from how the dating scene works. It'll be a steep learning curve for you. I went through that when I was younger, I paid my dues. But now you have to pay yours, except with two kids in tow. Sorry bro. If it's a college town, hit on college chicks. You can take a community class or something. Expect them to be flaky and wishy-washy. Don't take anyone seriously, because they certainly won't be taking you seriously, and just have fun and explore. Just play. What you need is dating experience, both negative and positive. Having real experience in your back pocket is more important than any advice you can get. Anyway, that's what I believe.
thatsonlyme Posted November 24, 2010 Posted November 24, 2010 I faced similar problem not too long ago. after 2 serious relationships in 9 years dating game was just a distant memory for me and I had no idea where to start or what to do. Then I remembered that back in my early 20-es I was actually pretty good at picking up girls, after being shy in high school I just developed the skill naturally. Well, I'm getting back onto the right track and to be honest I'm starting to enjoy it! I still have a lot to learn but let me try to give you some advice. First, you need to be confident and relaxed! It makes all the difference and girls love confident guys. The catch is, you can't fake it, low self esteem shows. How did I get around low self esteem issue you may ask? First, don't try to pick up girls, just try to have fun. You have no reason to be afraid of rejection because you're not even trying to pick them up. Talk to girls whenever you have a chance without any other intentions and very fast you'll see how easy is to get into conversation if a girl is interested. Second, you need to be funny and make her laugh. Now, I'm not a native speaker and for the life of me I couldn't crack a good joke, but English language is great for playing with words and I use it a lot. You need to feel it, but when I don't even refrain from using subtle sexual references when appropriate and it never fails to make them laugh. You shouldn't be rude by any means but sometimes even simple "that's what she said" will do the trick. I wouldn't use it in a grocery store though Third, even though it's probably the most important part, make good eye contact! I can't stress this enough, GOOD EYE CONTACT does wonders! you can also tell a lot about her level of interest just by the way she's looking at you. Don't hesitate to keep an eye contact of at least few seconds, but don't stare. Smile is mandatory of you don't want to come across as creepy. Touch her. I was very hesitant in the beginning because I tried to keep my distance form girls while I was in a relationship, but it creates special bond between you and her. Now, I hope I don't have to tell you that grabbing her a** is not appropriate way of doing it, but if you naturally touch her arm she will usually not mind. I do this usually when I see that girl is interested, not before. Watch your body language! Proper posture matters. Try not to face her directly because you may look threatening. Watch her body language. Google it if you're not sure what signs you're looking for, but if a girl is interested she will give you some subconscious signs. Be social. If other girls see you flirting with someone confidently, they may become interested. Don't hesitate. Approach immediately. It shows your confidence. I've been experimenting with this for a while now and this Sunday I put all this into practice at my friends party. I made another thread about this, I messed it all up in the end because I got too drunk. The girl was super hot, I would normally think she was completely out of my league and she was the only single girl at the party, bunch of single guys, some of them better looking than me... I approached confidently and she spent most of the night talking to me. We were into each other so much that one of the guys who arrived later refereed to her as "my girlfriend" LOL. This is my experience and I'd love if girls would confirm or dis confirm what I just wrote. I still have a lot to learn but I definitely started enjoying all this. If you were just looking for pick up lines you can try to google it but for me it all sounds very cheesy and rehearsed. I usually create my own situational lines and openers. Like the other day I was going with 3 other friends to the movies and we all joked how gay it may look so I just decided to ask our server in the restaurant if it's gay or not, guess what, she wouldn't let me go! She went on, what are we going to watch, bla bla... At my friends party I arrived with a six pack of Dos Equis bear and at some point I pulled the line from the commercial "I don't always drink beer but when I do I prefer Dos Equis", it cracked everybody up and for one night I was "the most interesting man in the world". You get the picture, just be natural and use pick up lines as a reference only. Good luck in dating
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