lizzi Posted November 23, 2010 Posted November 23, 2010 I need some feedback on my vindictive husband. We have been together for 7 years. He was always the "internet porn" kinda guy. Had some problems with sex chatting but he stopped that when we got married. I dont really care about the porn part as long as it isn't local "web cam" girls. Now everytime we get into an argument about anything, he goes to craigslist and solicites women. (answering personals ads like he wants to hook up) He says he does this to get back at me but wont ever cheat. He deletes all the history on the computer and doesnt know I can retrieve it. Should I ignore his vindictive behavior? What would you do?
Bryanp Posted November 23, 2010 Posted November 23, 2010 How would your husband feel if you did the same thing and went to Craig's list as well?
hoping2heal Posted November 23, 2010 Posted November 23, 2010 I need some feedback on my vindictive husband. We have been together for 7 years. He was always the "internet porn" kinda guy. Had some problems with sex chatting but he stopped that when we got married. I dont really care about the porn part as long as it isn't local "web cam" girls. Now everytime we get into an argument about anything, he goes to craigslist and solicites women. (answering personals ads like he wants to hook up) He says he does this to get back at me but wont ever cheat. He deletes all the history on the computer and doesnt know I can retrieve it. Should I ignore his vindictive behavior? What would you do? Would not fly with me. I would never do that to him, ever. I can't see him ever doing that to me either. I'm kind of at a loss. I guess it depends on how you feel about it. Is this okay with you? I mean, if it never stops and always continues..are you going to be fine with it? Your husband should know you are able to get the history and retrieve it. There are already problems here, dishonesty is about the last ingredient that needs to be added to this mix.
Darth Vader Posted November 23, 2010 Posted November 23, 2010 I need some feedback on my vindictive husband. We have been together for 7 years. He was always the "internet porn" kinda guy. Had some problems with sex chatting but he stopped that when we got married. I dont really care about the porn part as long as it isn't local "web cam" girls. Now everytime we get into an argument about anything, he goes to craigslist and solicites women. (answering personals ads like he wants to hook up) He says he does this to get back at me but wont ever cheat. He deletes all the history on the computer and doesnt know I can retrieve it. Should I ignore his vindictive behavior? What would you do? HMMM, how can you retrieve the computer history, I'm interested in this part!
Brandi 2 Posted November 23, 2010 Posted November 23, 2010 I need some feedback on my vindictive husband. We have been together for 7 years. He was always the "internet porn" kinda guy. Had some problems with sex chatting but he stopped that when we got married. I dont really care about the porn part as long as it isn't local "web cam" girls. Now everytime we get into an argument about anything, he goes to craigslist and solicites women. (answering personals ads like he wants to hook up) He says he does this to get back at me but wont ever cheat. He deletes all the history on the computer and doesnt know I can retrieve it. Should I ignore his vindictive behavior? What would you do? This sounds much more than just vindictive, it sounds like an excuse to me. I would confront him, that is terrible! My heart goes out to you. He's into porn and in my opinion that's the same as cheating. He's got some serious issues. I would confront him and insist on councelling. I would read his behavior though, to see if he is going to be fake and continue in this horrible behavior. He's trying to make it like it YOUR fault when you guys fight.
Brandi 2 Posted November 23, 2010 Posted November 23, 2010 How would your husband feel if you did the same thing and went to Craig's list as well? I bet the shoe wouldn't fit well!
Woman In Blue Posted November 23, 2010 Posted November 23, 2010 Now everytime we get into an argument about anything, he goes to craigslist and solicites women. (answering personals ads like he wants to hook up) He says he does this to get back at me but wont ever cheat. He deletes all the history on the computer and doesnt know I can retrieve it. LOL. What an asshat. If he's doing it to "get back at you," then why is he ERASING his history? It would stand to reason if he's doing it to "get back at you," wouldn't he leave it so you can SEE it? And what is he - 16 years old? What an immature imbecile. What would I do, you ask? Make his ass gone, that's what I'd do. Who needs to deal with such an emotional misfit?
Author lizzi Posted November 23, 2010 Author Posted November 23, 2010 We are both in our fourties. I feel I have more ethics then play games on CL and too busy to spend my days looking at porn. He on the otherhand has part time jobs here and there and all this free time during the week. My job requires 50-60 hours per week right now. I just wonder why he wont help out with house work and be more empethetic with me. With my work stress, why does he feel the need to add more? I just freak that when I am not home.....does he hook up? he says he never would, but how do you build trust in a marriage when your husband does things like this?
HalfAlive22 Posted November 23, 2010 Posted November 23, 2010 We are both in our fourties. I feel I have more ethics then play games on CL and too busy to spend my days looking at porn. He on the otherhand has part time jobs here and there and all this free time during the week. My job requires 50-60 hours per week right now. I just wonder why he wont help out with house work and be more empethetic with me. With my work stress, why does he feel the need to add more? I just freak that when I am not home.....does he hook up? he says he never would, but how do you build trust in a marriage when your husband does things like this? I'm new on here, but I saw this and thought of my husband. he always looked at porn, if fact we did together, it never botherd me before, I just figured it's a guy thing, I don't want to start you wondering to much, but just be leary, my husband said he'd never cheat, and he cheated multiple times, and at first his reason was when we'd fight he'd get so mad at me that he was getting me back..I know it's crazy!
East7 Posted November 23, 2010 Posted November 23, 2010 Now everytime we get into an argument about anything, he goes to craigslist and solicites women. (answering personals ads like he wants to hook up) He says he does this to get back at me but wont ever cheat. Should I ignore his vindictive behavior? What would you do? So that's a way to "punish" you ? One word to qualify him : completely immature ! We are both in our fourties. I feel I have more ethics then play games on CL and too busy to spend my days looking at porn. He on the otherhand has part time jobs here and there and all this free time during the week. My job requires 50-60 hours per week right now. I just wonder why he wont help out with house work and be more empethetic with me. With my work stress, why does he feel the need to add more? I just freak that when I am not home.....does he hook up? he says he never would, but how do you build trust in a marriage when your husband does things like this? And irresponsible. He takes you for granted, so do something before it gets worse or you get tired and miserable.
YellowShark Posted November 23, 2010 Posted November 23, 2010 I need some feedback on my vindictive husband. We have been together for 7 years. He was always the "internet porn" kinda guy. Had some problems with sex chatting but he stopped that when we got married. I dont really care about the porn part as long as it isn't local "web cam" girls. Now everytime we get into an argument about anything, he goes to craigslist and solicites women. (answering personals ads like he wants to hook up) He says he does this to get back at me but wont ever cheat. He deletes all the history on the computer and doesnt know I can retrieve it. Should I ignore his vindictive behavior? What would you do? Ahhhh. WOW lizzi. Just WOW. Ok. It's one thing to look at internet porn if both parties set a boundary for it. Sounds like you did - no local webcam girls. But it's entirely another level going on Craigslist and solicit women. Then it's entirely another level if he's also deleting the history. If he's doing to lash out at you like a 6-year-old boy then he's a douche. My guess is he is doing it.. because he's doing it. Get my drift? So what would I do? I would say "we are going to a marriage counselor next Wed at 5:30pm honey."
Jonah Posted November 24, 2010 Posted November 24, 2010 Does he really see you darling? There is a porn pandemic out there - very common. And it is a tough addiction with all the symptoms. Sorry to read that he is behaving like a neanderthal - sheesh what a jerk! It is amazing how many good men can be real jerks. Do you think he wants/needs/loves you? If so and you like him then get him professional help. Group therapy works in that there would be accountability established.
Author lizzi Posted November 29, 2010 Author Posted November 29, 2010 Prior to this last incident he said he would go to counceling. Now when I bring the suggestion up he says no he wont go. He apparently does not see the problem with the whole thing. I guess he figures he can just do what he wants whether it affects me or not. I understand the point with him deleting history.....I guess he doesn't want me to see all the Porn he looks at all day. I am just disellusioned with the whole thing. he says he loves me, but I just feel like the slave in the relationship.
2sure Posted November 29, 2010 Posted November 29, 2010 I would and you should have a serious problem with someone who stopped respecting boundaries of the marriage whenever he felt slighted. People argue, disagree, bicker over issues real and imagined....and his response is to go fishing for hook ups? If you for one moment let this fly..all he has to do to justify this behavior to himself and to you in the future is say: I was miffed. I would tell him "When I get irritated with you, I like to hold a gun to your head while you sleep...But dont worry babe, I wont pull the trigger. "
Carrot2000 Posted November 30, 2010 Posted November 30, 2010 He on the otherhand has part time jobs here and there and all this free time during the week. My job requires 50-60 hours per week right now. His azz needs to be on Craigslist looking for a job!
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