Goodwoman Posted November 23, 2010 Posted November 23, 2010 I am looking for people who have had a second chance after either being left for someone else or leaving their ex for someone else. Did you or your ex ever see the 'grass was not greener'? After how long did this happen? Are these types or relationships 'rebounds? I know, Im living in a dream world and Im going to get a lot of people respond with the 'why would you want them back' stuff, but I know there is a lot of people out there in the same position I am and I havn't given up hope yet.
Surfer203 Posted November 23, 2010 Posted November 23, 2010 I am curious too.. I am currently the one who was left in my marriage.. I am waiting on my wife to decide our fate on a week trip she is taking back home to her parents this week. I will let you know in about a week if it works out.. haha. Crossing my fingers.
TG4MJ Posted November 23, 2010 Posted November 23, 2010 I'm in that exact spot actually, I don't want you to use my situation as an exact model of how these things pan out, but really second chances are hit and miss. Some times it works out the second time around because you look at the mistakes you made first and work on them, some times people try again and realize "oh, thats why we broke up". It all just depends on your willingness to make it work. If you two really want to make it work, you will, if you don't then you won't. Just take baby steps and see where it all goes I guess is my best advice to you.
Author Goodwoman Posted November 23, 2010 Author Posted November 23, 2010 My BF left me 2 months ago for the 'other woman' after 6 years together. In those 2 months, he has texted me at least 2-3 times a week about things that are completely random and unimportant. Not sure why he does this. Trying to keep the doors open? I have just very recently initiated NC and ignored his texts. Not sure if that is the right thing to do but, I realize that speaking to him right now is just too hard. He never once talked to me about the problems that I didnt know we had. I feel that after 6 years I at least deserved a 'talk' before he decided to leave for this girl. It appears he just checked out plain and simple. And to leave for someone so trashy! I may have felt better about things if she was classy. He is 34 and she is 22. She already has 2 children from 2 different men and she isnt with either one of the fathers. Catch my drift here? Even after 2 months, Im having a very hard time believing this is all happening.
sumdude Posted November 23, 2010 Posted November 23, 2010 It happens but it's really rare. Never happened in my life. So I now take the approach that once it's over then it's time to move on. Why offer something to someone who doesn't want it?
TG4MJ Posted November 23, 2010 Posted November 23, 2010 My BF left me 2 months ago for the 'other woman' after 6 years together. In those 2 months, he has texted me at least 2-3 times a week about things that are completely random and unimportant. Not sure why he does this. Trying to keep the doors open? I have just very recently initiated NC and ignored his texts. Not sure if that is the right thing to do but, I realize that speaking to him right now is just too hard. He never once talked to me about the problems that I didnt know we had. I feel that after 6 years I at least deserved a 'talk' before he decided to leave for this girl. It appears he just checked out plain and simple. And to leave for someone so trashy! I may have felt better about things if she was classy. He is 34 and she is 22. She already has 2 children from 2 different men and she isnt with either one of the fathers. Catch my drift here? Even after 2 months, Im having a very hard time believing this is all happening. Um, no offense but, considering what this guy did, why would you even consider a second chance with this clown ? I mean you said it yourself, he left you for some little hoochy mama. You know what that means ? That means assuming you're a good hearted woman, he doesn't really appreciate that and if that's the case, why even bother ? Come on chachita, you seem better than that. He wants to go be with some little hoodrat, let him be. See how cool he thinks he is when he ends up become Dad #3 to child #3 and ends up having to cough up alimony after she leaves him for dad #4. Do you two have kids together ? If not you aren't obligated to give him a chance of any kind. This guy just gave you a small taste, you really wanna take him back and get an entire meal ?
Author Goodwoman Posted November 23, 2010 Author Posted November 23, 2010 Nope. No kids. Im damn lucky. And yes, as pathetic as it is, I want him back right now but, give it a couple months I will be in that hate stage and wouldnt ever dream of taking him back. I just think its shocking because he is a better person than that....well I thought he was. If I had seen it coming it would have been easier to take. Its hard when you thought everything was going well.
SimonSerenade Posted November 23, 2010 Posted November 23, 2010 Nope. No kids. Im damn lucky. And yes, as pathetic as it is, I want him back right now but, give it a couple months I will be in that hate stage and wouldnt ever dream of taking him back. I just think its shocking because he is a better person than that....well I thought he was. If I had seen it coming it would have been easier to take. Its hard when you thought everything was going well. Your not on your own darling, My ex did the same thing, Left me in the dark about why we had to finish, I can only assume she found somebody else and realised life is better without me, We have a child together and she gives me nothing but the cold shoulder, After how easily she threw me away and how she lacked the compassion to not do it to my face leaves me in a hateful place, People change and people make mistakes, Give it time and he'll come running just like she will, If were still stupid enough to take them back after that then maybe we need to find professional help lol. As for weather or not people have ever come back to me... Well.... They've all come back to me aside from one who moved on with her life and found someone special (She ended it properly and did it right) and one who died, Basically I was with a nasty person for a little over a year and she finished me and put me through hell only to come back 8 months later when I'd moved on, An ex I was with for 2 years did the same, She left me cause she thought there was better out there and 5 months later she come's back but because she'd been with one or two other people I wouldn't let myself take her back. I think taking people back is a hard thing to do especially when there's always a chance they could do it again, I think it all depends on what they do and how they really felt after the relationship had ended that's a deciding factor in giving them another chance to be in our hearts again, Just one of them init.
Livin Lrge Posted November 23, 2010 Posted November 23, 2010 Hi I've had my ex come back three times. There is hope only if you follow the right steps for the situation. Only you know the situation so looking for the right direction takes experience, discipline and above all having the confidence to walk tall and letting them know you can make it with out them. Confidence is key. Not every one will get the second chance they desire but following the Walk tall process which I will explain later will help you either have them coming back or give you the strength to move forward with out them. either way it's a win / win situation. I'm currently going through another break up with the same girl but this time there is no forth chance. write to me and let me know the situation and i can give you some direction and steps to follow.... A break up is life changing but it's not the doom and gloom you are thinking it is. with the right attitude and creating the right tools you will see that this is a blessing in disguise. Livin Lrge
SithLord Posted November 23, 2010 Posted November 23, 2010 yeah my x of 6 years, left me for other guy once we did long distance. 3 Years later she suffered the bad end of the stick. she ended getting married because she got married, and 3 kids at 22 and her husband is 36....she told me after 3 years of NC, SHE Always wonder about etc cc and she isnt happy..
Mad Max Posted November 23, 2010 Posted November 23, 2010 I would never in a million years take someone back that left me before. She'll have to use it as a life lesson and move on.
Author Goodwoman Posted November 23, 2010 Author Posted November 23, 2010 Livin Lrg;Im interested to know. Were you in contact with your ex during your breaks? Or using NC? I had been on speaking terms (text terms)with him up until recently when I decided it was best to go NC. Is that the right thing to do? Anyone that successfully got their ex back? Did you go NC?
YellowShark Posted November 23, 2010 Posted November 23, 2010 Rule #1: Never make someone a priority who only sees you as an option. IMHO if they left you for the so-called "greener pastures," then they really don't deserve an open door to come back. I am not their backup plan, OR their doormat.
aerogurl87 Posted November 23, 2010 Posted November 23, 2010 Technically yes. My ex and I got back together after I cheated on him once. I wasn't planning to leave him but I made a horrible decision and paid for it. Later he left me for someone else, but we never got back together. Although he did later tell me he regretted it and should've listened to me, the one person who ironically was always there for him, instead of his friends who deserted him. Sucks for him though because this ship has sailed.
whatadeer26 Posted November 23, 2010 Posted November 23, 2010 I got back with my ex who dumped me after 3 months apart. She used me, plain and simple. I still have zero regrets for doing it because it showed me how she views me. Actually really help me get over her. I don't hate her for using me because I did exactly what Rule #1 says not to. HAHAHAHAHAH I go out and live life to the fullest. Meet women everywhere. Being treated like sh*t has changed me. I refuse to be walked on anymore. (I do treat women with respect they deserve though, but it al depends on the woman. HAHAHAHAHAHA)
Author Goodwoman Posted November 23, 2010 Author Posted November 23, 2010 I got back with my ex who dumped me after 3 months apart. She used me, plain and simple. I still have zero regrets for doing it because it showed me how she views me. Actually really help me get over her. I don't hate her for using me because I did exactly what Rule #1 says not to. HAHAHAHAHAH I go out and live life to the fullest. Meet women everywhere. Being treated like sh*t has changed me. I refuse to be walked on anymore. (I do treat women with respect they deserve though, but it al depends on the woman. HAHAHAHAHAHA) Im confused. Did you get back with her after 3 months or she tried and you rejected her?
whatadeer26 Posted November 23, 2010 Posted November 23, 2010 Sorry, I ran into her at a club after 1.5 months NC. We got into a fight and I let her have it. After that she came after me and we decided to start again. It was a great first month then she changed and I became her option. I had enough last week and told her that we should not see each other anymore. I am literally one of the nicest most unselfish people you could ever meet. She took advantage of my kindness. She will never find anyone as good as me. I'm now seeing a NFL Cheerleader, so I should thank her.
Livin Lrge Posted November 24, 2010 Posted November 24, 2010 Livin Lrg;Im interested to know. Were you in contact with your ex during your breaks? Or using NC? I had been on speaking terms (text terms)with him up until recently when I decided it was best to go NC. Is that the right thing to do? Anyone that successfully got their ex back? Did you go NC? During the breaks she normally goes no contact, the longest being three to four weeks and than she call telling me everything i want to hear. every situation is different and when going in to battle you need to choose the right tools for the job. The first thing you need to do is understand on some level that they might not return and do you really think having them back is going to bring the happiness you are desiring. If you choose to win them back you need to select the right tools for the job. How do they tick, what makes them happy, there soft spot, what went wrong the first time. preparation is key. let me know how you broke up and why and i can give you more direction. Let prepare to do battle. regards Livin Lrge
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