Ladies! Have You Ever Flaked BUT Offered an Alternative Day?

[U1987]

Is it just me, or is flakiness in women becoming ever more prevalent? It feels like more and more girls give their numbers to guys, agree to a date, but cancel last minute but DON'T offer an alternative day.

 

I'm just wondering if any of the women on here have ever flaked BUT offered and alternative day?

[Crazy Magnet]

I once canceled on a guy the same day of the date. We were chatting on IM and he got belligerent b/c I wouldn't tell him some very personal things about myself (we hadn't even met yet!)

 

Needless to say I did not offer an alternative date. I wanted no part of that jacka$$.

[U1987]

I once canceled on a guy the same day of the date. We were chatting on IM and he got belligerent b/c I wouldn't tell him some very personal things about myself (we hadn't even met yet!)

 

Needless to say I did not offer an alternative date. I wanted no part of that jacka$$.

 

So that counts as a no.

[phineas]

I once canceled on a guy the same day of the date. We were chatting on IM and he got belligerent b/c I wouldn't tell him some very personal things about myself (we hadn't even met yet!)

 

Needless to say I did not offer an alternative date. I wanted no part of that jacka$$.

 

That isn't flaking that's rejecting based on his behavior.

 

I think with online dating women have even more options than ever before hence they find the "one" every other week. It just sucks for you if you happen to ask her out on that week. LOL!

[Cee]

I can't think of a single time where I have ever flaked on an actual date. When I schedule a date, I don't cancel. I never get sick and my relatives rarely die so I haven't had a legitimate reason to cancel anyway.

 

I admit I have dodged the scheduling of a date many times. My dodge attempts are the usual cowardly behavior that is talked about on LS- not returning calls/texts and slow response times.

 

So, OP, I have never done the flake/reschedule. I have done the flake/fade to dodge the schedule though.

 

Hope that makes sense.

[Star Gazer]

If I cancel/flake on a date without offering an alternative day, it means I'm not interested.

[Green]

Is it just me, or is flakiness in women becoming ever more prevalent? It feels like more and more girls give their numbers to guys, agree to a date, but cancel last minute but DON'T offer an alternative day.

 

I'm just wondering if any of the women on here have ever flaked BUT offered and alternative day?

 

I think you are feeling sorry for yourself. My PM abilitiy is back for now but I have a feeling it will be taken away soon by the way.

 

If women cancel a date you are better off then wasting time and energy on a bad time.

 

I once canceled on a guy the same day of the date. We were chatting on IM and he got belligerent b/c I wouldn't tell him some very personal things about myself (we hadn't even met yet!)

 

Needless to say I did not offer an alternative date. I wanted no part of that jacka$$.

 

That isn't flaking that's rejecting based on his behavior.

 

I think with online dating women have even more options than ever before hence they find the "one" every other week. It just sucks for you if you happen to ask her out on that week. LOL!

 

I wouldn't consider this flaking either. I consider flaking to be not showing up with no indications or random inapropriate cancelations. Her cancelation sounds valid but then again I wouldn't be suprised if the guy she cancled on called her a flake or tease or some other angry thing.

 

I can't think of a single time where I have ever flaked on an actual date. When I schedule a date, I don't cancel. I never get sick and my relatives rarely die so I haven't had a legitimate reason to cancel anyway.

 

I admit I have dodged the scheduling of a date many times. My dodge attempts are the usual cowardly behavior that is talked about on LS- not returning calls/texts and slow response times.

 

So, OP, I have never done the flake/reschedule. I have done the flake/fade to dodge the schedule though.

 

Hope that makes sense.

 

I kinda like it when women just don't answer the phone if they don't like you. Lets me call till I get bored and move on

[U1987]

If I cancel/flake on a date without offering an alternative day, it means I'm not interested.

 

Obviously. Why do it though? Why give the number and agree to the date in the first place? Why get our hopes and waste our time?

[Star Gazer]

Obviously. Why do it though? Why give the number and agree to the date in the first place? Why get our hopes and waste our time?

 

Everyone's free to change their mind.

[fishtaco]

If I cancel/flake on a date without offering an alternative day, it means I'm not interested.

 

Thank you. I wish all women follow this simple rule.

[Crazy Magnet]

I'm sure I was called many things after my cancellation. He proceeded to call me about 75 times in a row leaving message after message begging for another chance.

 

I ignored him at work but then called him back and explained again that I was no longer interested and told him why.

 

And the guys on here wonder why girls are so picky on online dating. We run into nut jobs like this! He was the first guy I had set up a date with from online. Glad I didn't judge every man by his behavior.

[tami-chan]

I have canceled a number of times-most of the times I give an alternate date! But it comes with the territory because of what I do. When they asked me out, they already know this. It is not an indication at all that I am not interested.

[xRJ85x]

I had this happen to me just today, so maybe some of the ladies could follow up with some advice on what we guys can do? (And guys for girls for the opposite situation)

 

I was supposed to meet up with a girl tonight for the first time, but she bailed this morning of because friends she had coming in on Friday ended up texting her this morning and telling her they were coming in tonight. She said she was really sorry and that she was free all next weekend and wanted to reschedule.

 

I haven't responded yet, but obviously I plan to because I really wanna meet up with her. I had the intention of sending a text back today rescheduling, but I didn't because I've never had a girl ask to reschedule. Usually they just broke it and it was done. So how should I go about responding? My friend says I should just text her back saying "OK no prob, I'll call you next week to schedule something."

 

She seems pretty laid back. I called and left a message one week, and finally heard back from her a week later through a text apologizing that she was really busy with work. So we texted a few times that night, and we arranged something on the phone a few days later. Then she texts me about canceling. I guess I was little thrown off that she is doing mostly everything through text cuz I know girls wanna be formal over the phone, but its no big deal to me; I've got nothing against doing anything through text.

[zengirl]

Is it just me, or is flakiness in women becoming ever more prevalent? It feels like more and more girls give their numbers to guys, agree to a date, but cancel last minute but DON'T offer an alternative day.

 

I'm just wondering if any of the women on here have ever flaked BUT offered and alternative day?

 

If I cancel, it's generally because something has legitimately come up (pretty rare, though I remember canceling once at the beginning of dating a fella I wound up dating for almost a year, because I was throwing up with a migraine---can't really help that). And yes, I then suggest the next time/date, because it's my "turn" so to speak.

 

If I were to cancel without giving an alternative day, that would mean I wasn't interested OR my status had changed (i.e. I'd planned to go out with the guy but wound up getting serious with someone else).

[dispatch3d]

from what I gathered from women's posts in the past in similar threads, it seems like a LOT of the flaking women do has a ton to do with anxiety issues they have, or insecurities they have about dating. They sometimes make up reasons to cancel. Read some of oceangirls threads, I feel like she is really good at verbalizing what most women cannot.

 

It may be helpful to relate feelings at the time of flaking, because really that's where these flakes are coming from. I frequently read/hear women saying "I never flake" when it's actually not very true.

[carhill]

Is it just me, or is flakiness in women becoming ever more prevalent?

 

Unclear. Women have been exercising their right to unilaterally 'change their mind' without notice for as long as I've been 'dating', so about 30+ years, and likely long before that. Perhaps it's just more noticeable now in our 'instant communication', 'always connected' world.

 

I learned back in my 20's not to waste time on people who don't make time for me. Of course, life provided a few reminders over the years why that's a healthy perspective, primarily in the processing of illusions of making time and showing interest. You know, a tune-up

 

I frequently read/hear women saying "I never flake" when it's actually not very true.

 

Yes, I've also heard them say 'I've never had an affair' LOL, but yep, it's one perspective. People say what they *believe*. Often it matches up with reality. Sometimes not.

 

So far, since being separated (and now divorced), I've yet to have a lady decline my polite invitation and offer an alternative. So, the great dynamics of the past are alive and well. The difference is I don't care nearly as much and, surprise, I do it to them too. Equal opportunity. Life goes on.

[irc333]

How about this.

 

If a woman cancels, the man give her an alternate date.

 

Her: Hey, soryr, something came up, my friends came into town this weekend, so I won't be able to go out with you. (more hypothetical)

 

Him: Oh okay, well, how abuot next weekend....will you be available then?

 

Her: I'm not surea bout next weekend, I'll find out then when that time comes around

 

Wait until close to the next weekend

 

Him calling her, "Hey, it's almost the weekend, was wondering if you'd like to get together this Fri night?"

 

Her: "Sorry, I'm going out with friends Fri night.

 

Him: "Oh okay, how are you for Sat night?

 

Her: "Sorry, my friends and I are doing something on Sat night

 

Him: "How are you for Sunday afternoon?"

 

Her, "Sorry, I'm not available all weekend

 

Him: *Pause on the phone* "So when when do you think you'll be avail then?"

 

Her: I dunno, I'll let you know next week to see what my schedule is like

 

 

But, if you've gone this far, you've really shown that you're making it rather obvious trying to pin her down to a date. lol

 

But what irritates me is, when you meet them, you ask them out, they say YES and even give you their #, go figure <shrug>

 

I had this happen to me just today, so maybe some of the ladies could follow up with some advice on what we guys can do? (And guys for girls for the opposite situation)

 

I was supposed to meet up with a girl tonight for the first time, but she bailed this morning of because friends she had coming in on Friday ended up texting her this morning and telling her they were coming in tonight. She said she was really sorry and that she was free all next weekend and wanted to reschedule.

 

I haven't responded yet, but obviously I plan to because I really wanna meet up with her. I had the intention of sending a text back today rescheduling, but I didn't because I've never had a girl ask to reschedule. Usually they just broke it and it was done. So how should I go about responding? My friend says I should just text her back saying "OK no prob, I'll call you next week to schedule something."

 

She seems pretty laid back. I called and left a message one week, and finally heard back from her a week later through a text apologizing that she was really busy with work. So we texted a few times that night, and we arranged something on the phone a few days later. Then she texts me about canceling. I guess I was little thrown off that she is doing mostly everything through text cuz I know girls wanna be formal over the phone, but its no big deal to me; I've got nothing against doing anything through text.

[ReadyforLove]

Cancels but gives alternative date = into you

Cancels but doesn't give alternative date = not into you