curiousnycgirl Posted November 22, 2010 Posted November 22, 2010 I dream of my ex almost every night. Generally the dream is fairly current in that I know we've broken up, I know there's no chance of a reconciliation - but in most of my dreams our lifes are intertwined in some manner. Last night was different. Last night I dreamt that I lead a group of kids to Israel (something I used to periodically) and used the guide I had hired last year when the ex and I were over there. The trip was fabulous on many, many levels. It was not until the very end of the trip, once the students were already on their way home that I asked the guide if he had heard from my ex - and he said yes, that my ex was involved with someone new and was saying very horrible things about me to everyone who would listen. I woke up knowing that both of these facts might very well be true been crying about it every since. The reality of the situation is that the reason I "snapped" was because I saw he was active on match.com. He had a very current profile that showed he had been on within the prior 24 hours. So it is not at all far fetched to think that he had been meeting other women all along. In fact it is what I said in my emails to him - that he clearly felt there was someone out there more suited to him and that he was continuing to look for her while still with me. I guess the concept of his actually finding her cut me to the quick. Also the fact that he could be saying terrible things about me hurt. I guess he could - because he could not possibly think specatularly good things of me and treat me the way he did - but the reality again just hurts so freaking badly. The sorry truth of the matter is that no matter how you cut it I love him. I know I will never, ever get what I want or need from him, and I can never trust him, but that does not diminish the depth of my feelings for him. Yep I've gone way the frick backwards, I know - oh well. I'm pathetic.
Gt.ooh Posted November 22, 2010 Posted November 22, 2010 You're not pathetic...we all have our bad moments.. I too have been treated poorly, don't know if she's said anything bad about me or not as she's on the other side of the country now, but none the less I still care for her. Just keep doing what your doing, stick to basics, and enjoy the simple things in life Post here if yah need it! We're all here for you.
alwayshoping Posted November 23, 2010 Posted November 23, 2010 The stages are Denial Anger Bargaining Depression Acceptance. There are no relapses per se. But you can enter a stage more than once and each person has there own way through. Try not to worry too much. Your not going backwards, it's just a rollacoaster and you have to handle the emotions as they come your way. We all feel like this sometimes, myself included, but remember there are no backward steps unless you end up back together and they break your heart again! Take one day at a time lovely. All us LS'ers are here when you need us x
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