Funf Posted November 22, 2010 Posted November 22, 2010 Tonight I'm going to be having a 4th date with a guy I met. Since we both enjoy cooking, we decided that we will cook dinner and dessert together at my place. At first I was stoked about it, but now I'm beginning to worry. We haven't been more physical than just hugging and kissing, and we both agree that we want to rush things since we're both looking for LTR. I'm really worried that he might be thinking that since we're having the date at my place, I'm trying to get him in bed. That's not my intention at this point, but I don't want him to see me as sleazy. Are my fears valid? I just know that many guys think "date at house = sex"
veggirl Posted November 22, 2010 Posted November 22, 2010 I think it's a really cute and fun date idea! Normally I wouldn't think inviting him over if you don't want to have sex is a great idea, but if you both have communicated and agreed that you don't want to have sex early on, then no worries! Just don't let him stay too late...YOU should end the evening & then he will know you weren't trying to get sex.
yoga18 Posted November 23, 2010 Posted November 23, 2010 Feel free to look at some of my old posts to add to this story but to make a longer story a little shorter.....I'm with a great guy we get along very well I enjoy being with him. No relationship is perfect and ours is not for sure. We have been together going on 11 months. I have fallen in love with this man for everything that he is and the way he makes me feel (for the most part). I read another thread that takled about different love languages....and I'm wondering could that be what's going on with us? I have expressed myself to him and still he has not dropped the "L" bomb on me. I haven't pushed. I want to give him the time. We are both divorced. However, mine has been done for over 2 years, his will have been finalized about a year ago. He very much rushed that relationship and got engaged in 8 months, married within the year, and it was over in 18 months. So at this point he wants to take his time. I did talk with him not long ago about feeling like I was a "just for now girlfriend". My issues (many come from my divorce) my concerns etc....he said I'm the best person that he has ever been with and that he just wants to take his time with me to make sure he doesn't make the mistakes that he has made in the past. So why do I keep thinking to myself ....its been 11 months and I have doubts that he loves me....it hurts. He treats me as though he loves me. I know we are always saying actions speak louder than words but in this case I'm very much waiting to hear those words. Part of me is really scared of getting hurt again. This time there is so much more to lose. I've never felt this way....so am I overreaching or do you think its odd to not say I love you? I keep thinking our one year is right around the corner and it just has me really wondering. Be honest plz
Dante311 Posted November 24, 2010 Posted November 24, 2010 4th date leading to sex? If you are both aware you're going slow... I and I was in his shoes, I wouldn't think sex at all. I may think cuddle session with a movie and maybe a blowjob (if she likes giving head... ie the girl I'm going slow with now loves it... ie, i'm in a similar situation like you) I am one to just go with the flow now... and see what happens. Another girl I'm seeing invites me over... we're watching a movie... she leans on me.. Iam not expecting anything... next thing I know she's tickling me... so I try to "restrain her playfully" and next thing I know I'm spooning her with my leg over hers and my arms enclosing her (playfully) and she laughs and we just lie there and watch a movie... just go with it and have fun OP.
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