Els Posted November 22, 2010 Posted November 22, 2010 I have a group of male friends whom I used to hang out with in college and play games with. But throughout the entire time I've known them, I see a persistent trend.. I'm their emotional tampon. Sorta. Let me clarify that I have a bf and they know it, so it's not like I can or should expect anything more from them in that sense. But I do expect them to call me for games and hangouts, because we play as a sort-of team. However, I notice that even though they do call me, they don't call me as often as they do with their respective closest buddy/ies in that group (it's a big group of like 10 people, everyone has a sub-group that they're closer to). If we need 5 in a team and their closer buddies are all available at the same time as me, they'll ask them instead of me. On the other hand, I am probably the only one in the group that all of them come to with their emotional problems. Gf problems, crush problems, ex problems.... I don't mind sitting with them through it. But if I'm going to be the one you come to with all your problems, I shouldn't be second bet when you're forming a gaming team. Y'know? It's like your male buddies get all the good parts of being buddies... you're bros, always hang out together... But you can't discuss your deep emotional issues with them cause guys don't do that with other guys, so you lump them all on me. Because you don't have any other girl friends.
kdark Posted November 25, 2010 Posted November 25, 2010 So it sounds like you want to be treated more like one of the guys? If you don't want to hear about there emotional problems, call them a vagina occasionally like I would my friends. For a while, I would play therapist with my friends and let them dump their problems on me, but I do that enough already since that's what I'm going to school for. I understand you probably enjoy hearing them out every once in awhile and listening to them, but if you do it too much, that's all you become to them. They need to understand that friendships are give and take, and right now they've been taking more from you than you want to give. Stop being so available to listen to them.
Author Els Posted November 26, 2010 Author Posted November 26, 2010 Rofl. Oh man, sometimes I wish I could. But usually when they come to me, they're in such a low state already (crush rejected them, gf dumped them, etc) that I just don't have the heart to go all "Stop whining you pussy". I don't actually mind all of the times I did it, it isn't that often; I just wish they wouldn't choose their 'closest' friends to play with over me when there is a necessity to choose. Although I suppose that is partly my fault also for being one of the least-often available people in the group. They'll go all the way to 5am, I'll almost always call it a night at 2am or so, heh.
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