Women get upset if you DO take no for an answer

[irc333]

I have this friend of mine, who apparently just told me when he gets blown off by women (not really an actual "no" answer, just did that for the title) , that they get upset with him if they take a blow off response as a hint to move on....which he does.

 

So how many women here can admit to having wish they had a guy continue to pursue them if you told them that "I got stuff going on that weekend, so I don't know until that weekend comes up"

 

Are you were "too busy" that weekend to do anything , but then got upset the guy never pursued or said, "Oh okay, so how about next weekend?" That they actually just moved on?

 

Any women get upset by this? (I'm sure there are women that won't admit to it in a public forum though, lol)

 

Perhaps men are giving up too easily?

[Woggle]

Some do play hard to get and want a man to work extra hard to pursue but they should be avoided anyway. Why do guys get upset about women that they are better off without anyway? Why not look for better quality instead of a woman that lets you dodge a bullet early on.

[irc333]

Some do play hard to get and want a man to work extra hard to pursue but they should be avoided anyway. Why do guys get upset about women that they are better off without anyway? Why not look for better quality instead of a woman that lets you dodge a bullet early on.

 

You'd be suprised how many Long Term Rel or even marriages that have turned out from persistent men though.

[slownumbers81]

I'm not sure if I'm answering the question correctly, but I can say that if a women told me "I got stuff going on that weekend, so I don't know until that weekend comes up" - I would likely do the same thing that guy did and take it as a hint to move on. Why? Because she just doesn't sound that interested and through experience that would be a sign that she wasn't.

 

Example of what a girl could say if she was interested but just legitimately busy and I would still pursue: "Oh man I'm busy that weekend but would love to hang out sometime, are you free any day the following week or next Saturday?"

 

That's just me though. Everyone is different!

[irc333]

Example of what a girl could say if she was interested but just legitimately busy and I would still pursue: "Oh man I'm busy that weekend but would love to hang out sometime, are you free any day the following week or next Saturday?"

 

 

You know, I rarely have women that give the last part of that answer:

 

are you free any day the following week or next Saturday?

 

I hardly ever get that part.

[flying]

I have this friend of mine, who apparently just told me when he gets blown off by women (not really an actual "no" answer, just did that for the title) , that they get upset with him if they take a blow off response as a hint to move on....which he does.

 

So how many women here can admit to having wish they had a guy continue to pursue them if you told them that "I got stuff going on that weekend, so I don't know until that weekend comes up"

 

Are you were "too busy" that weekend to do anything , but then got upset the guy never pursued or said, "Oh okay, so how about next weekend?" That they actually just moved on?

 

Any women get upset by this? (I'm sure there are women that won't admit to it in a public forum though, lol)

 

Perhaps men are giving up too easily?

 

I dunno, it's public but also an anonymous forum, so I don't know why people wouldn't just admit to it.

 

You may not believe me, but I assure you that personally I've never played that game, nor wanted to.

 

But there are always going to be people who get off on games. Such is life.

[waynebrady]

Most women seem to love playing hard to get that way, and if the man doesn't continue to chase them even after they rejected the man they dismiss him as not being intrested enough.

[irc333]

Most women seem to love playing hard to get that way, and if the man doesn't continue to chase them even after they rejected the man they dismiss him as not being intrested enough.

 

Right, and because they behave that way (it's their fault really) EVERYONE looses out (both parties).

[waynebrady]

You'd be suprised how many Long Term Rel or even marriages that have turned out from persistent men though.

 

Yeah but I really don't see the point in chasing a woman and being persistant even if it would turn into a long term reltionship or marriage. If the man has to chase the woman and be persistant then he obviously likes the woman more than the woman likes him, and that will never change. If the man has to do all the chasing then he will always be the one who loves more and is more invested in the relationship. Some men might not care aslong as they "get" the girl but I for shure wouldn't want to be in a reltionship where I like the woman more than she likes me.

[carhill]

My two primary datapoints with ignoring the 'blow off', though not as obviously as presented here, one being a marriage, resulted in a fail. This leads me to *believe* that indications of low interest from a woman should not be ignored. Using this information, I correctly noted such low interest in subsequent dating scenarios and have a 100% success rate in identifying this dynamic, so far.

 

However, I *have not* noted women getting 'upset' from my discontinuing pursuit. They *don't care*, which aligns with low interest. Great information

[Els]

Look, 'no' and what you construe as 'blow off' is completely different. If you construe 'I've plans with my gfs this weekend' as a blow-off... yes, you should definitely not take that as a sign to stop pursuing. For other guys, though, when they say 'she said no', they probably mean 'I asked her out 3 times and each time she said she wasn't interested in me as anything other than a friend'. In that case, they should definitely take it as a sign to stop pursuing.

[Untouchable_Fire]

I dunno, it's public but also an anonymous forum, so I don't know why people wouldn't just admit to it.

You may not believe me, but I assure you that personally I've never played that game, nor wanted to.

But there are always going to be people who get off on games. Such is life.

 

I'm a really persistent guy... and I can tell you for sure that there is a huge difference between. Not ever and Not right now. Women don't usually tell you which one when your getting turned down... so you either be really great at reading people, or not afraid to try again.

 

It's not game playing and there is nothing wrong with women not feeling it sometimes.

[VertexSquared]

If I ask a girl out and she's busy, I might suggest another time -- and if she's still busy, I'll stop pursuing, especially if she doesn't come forth at that point with times at which she IS free.

 

If a girl is expecting me to push and fawn over her while enduring a salvo of rejections in order to fulfill some "test" of hers, I won't even bother. That kind of person is not the type I'd want to be in a relationship with anyways.

[irc333]

In one case, my friend said he knew of a lady that apparently she used him as a "last resort" when no one else was available. Apparently she blew everyone off (male or female) so she was completely selfish even as a friend.

 

In other situations, women who had shown interest in him or actually ADMITTED to having a CRUSH on him would get upset if he never took a continued follow-up or pursuit.

 

For instance....as a result he told them that he would email them, phone them, etc etc...but they'd never return his calls or emails....then when he bumps into them face to face out amongst friends they'd be disappointed in him and actually say, "Well, you should've tried harder" or that he should have known better that it was okay to keep relentlessly pursuing her. LOL

 

Can't believe they actually thought that.

 

His response simply was, "Well, I don't play those games"....because their response was basically them admittely saying they're playing games. He said if someone is going to avoid him if they WANT him...why would he date them? It's an indicator if they were in an actual dating relationship....they would probably bail on him as well and be completely non-supportive.

 

I am wondering the actually relationships where the man went along with the game playing, when they wound up in a relationship with a woman (or Marriage) that the relationship failed or perhaps the marriage failed, because basically it'll wind up as a marriage where the woman has her sig. other wrapped around her little finger?

 

Correct?

[carhill]

The person who cares the least has the most power and control. The balance is *acceptance*. It doesn't matter whether it's situational or global. My definition of a 'blow-off' or 'low interest' is behavior which indicates to me that there is no interest, like *not* showing appreciation for the offer or *not* suggesting alternatives. 'I'm busy' with a *period* on the end of it is a blow-off, IMO, and 51 on this rock has shown it to be quite accurate, having not taken that as an answer on occasion over 20 years of dating. Yes, a woman has the right to change her mind. Absolutely. If/when she does, she can contact *me*. Simple as that. I'm off to other potentials and enjoying life, properly *caring more* about people and activities of value to me.

[flying]

Most women seem to love playing hard to get that way, and if the man doesn't continue to chase them even after they rejected the man they dismiss him as not being intrested enough.

 

http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t254347/

[D-Jam]

I've had female friends in the past tell me I give up too easily because a woman gave me a "no" or some avoidance. I'm just very straight-forward. You either want to try or not...I'm not going to spend weeks chasing someone down and "convince" them to date me.

 

Yes I've heard about the persistent guys who asked out women 100 times and she finally "caved in". I also notice how many of those stories ended up with "he cheated on me" or "after we had sex, he just suddenly turned very cold and even stopped calling me"

 

Regular relationship-minded men with a backbone are not going to play games. Playas will play until they win.

 

 

I also agree with flying that the kinds of women who play games or blow off guys or are the "evil bitches" many complain about on this board...will NEVER show themselves on this board or anything like that. Who wants to be told they do wrong when they're not facing any real consequences for their sins?

 

While I've seen SOME women here come off as shallow, most of them are very down-to-Earth, and I give them credit for being patient with the few who see attacking them as the same as attacking the actual girl who did them wrong.

[irc333]

What ticked some of these women off, is when they had an interest in HIM, he would'nt go along with it.

 

And they CONCLUDE that "Well, obviously he's not willing to put for the effort so thus HE is not interest"

 

So it's actually a Paradox...or Stale mate....(if that's the right term for this situation)

 

For soem reason, HER perspective makes her think he'd not be great for relationship material nor dating material.

 

Some wmoen believe if a guy gives up easily...that he's only interested in getting into her pants (as warped as that sounds)

 

The person who cares the least has the most power and control. The balance is *acceptance*. It doesn't matter whether it's situational or global. My definition of a 'blow-off' or 'low interest' is behavior which indicates to me that there is no interest, like *not* showing appreciation for the offer or *not* suggesting alternatives. 'I'm busy' with a *period* on the end of it is a blow-off, IMO, and 51 on this rock has shown it to be quite accurate, having not taken that as an answer on occasion over 20 years of dating. Yes, a woman has the right to change her mind. Absolutely. If/when she does, she can contact *me*. Simple as that. I'm off to other potentials and enjoying life, properly *caring more* about people and activities of value to me.

[phineas]

I was seeing a woman two months ago when she bugged me to hang out. We hung out a few times but when I phoned & texted her & she didn't respond. so I stopped calling & texting.

 

Last month I saw her & she asked me what was going on & I told her I was seeing someone. She said she'd been "busy" & sometimes forgets to call people, but would call me. huh-huh.

 

Ran into her the other day & she asked me if I fell off the face of the earth.

I told her, errr you said you were going to call me when you wern't so busy.

She said I could of always called her & that's when I told her I did call her & she didn't call back so I stopped calling.

 

The look on her eyes when she realized I was never going to chase her & had no more interest in her due to her games was priceless.

 

She asked me about the woman i'm seeing & I said she's still there.

 

I almost added "she knows how to return phone calls" just to see the look on her face but eh. I just wanted to stop talking to her & go on my way. LOL

Edited November 22, 2010 by phineas

[flying]

I was seeing a woman two months ago when she bugged me to hang out. We hung out a few times but when I phoned & texted her & she didn't respond. so I stopped calling & texting.

 

Last month I saw her & she asked me what was going on & I told her I was seeing someone. She said she'd been "busy" & sometimes forgets to call people, but would call me. huh-huh.

 

Ran into her the other day & she asked me if I fell off the face of the earth.

I told her, errr you said you were going to call me when you wern't so busy.

She said I could of always called her & that's when I told her I did call her & she didn't call back so I stopped calling.

 

She asked me about the woman i'm seeing & I said she's still there but not my GF.

 

I almost added "she knows how to return phone calls" just to see the look on her face but eh. I just wanted to stop talking to her & go on my way. LOL

 

Bleh, that is totally annoying behavior on her part. Good for you for going on your merry way!

[sally4sara]

I have this friend of mine, who apparently just told me when he gets blown off by women (not really an actual "no" answer, just did that for the title) , that they get upset with him if they take a blow off response as a hint to move on....which he does.

 

So how many women here can admit to having wish they had a guy continue to pursue them if you told them that "I got stuff going on that weekend, so I don't know until that weekend comes up"

 

Are you were "too busy" that weekend to do anything , but then got upset the guy never pursued or said, "Oh okay, so how about next weekend?" That they actually just moved on?

 

Any women get upset by this? (I'm sure there are women that won't admit to it in a public forum though, lol)

 

Perhaps men are giving up too easily?

 

A woman can actually be interested in a guy AND be too busy to accept an invite from him on a particular day, hoping he will ask again on a different day.

 

Of course that would require you to believe women say what they mean or are capable of honesty to take me at my word.

 

I've had it happen that they never asked again, but I don't remember ever getting upset over it. If I had high level interest - I'd have just asked him out later or suggested a different day myself. If I didn't ask or make a suggestion? It was because I wasn't all that interested but not totally uninterested, figuring if he wanted to tip that scale, he could ask again or suggest some other time and day.

 

That she'd tell you anything about her schedule rather than simply saying no should let you know she isn't completely UNinterested. With zero interest, she isn't going to tell you anything about her schedule because it would be none of your business.

[Mad Max]

If you're interested, don't say no. Problem solved. If a woman turns down my advances, I'm moving on. I have options. If she gets pissed, I'll say "You shouldn't have said no". This is why many women have problems with dating. They play games.

[flying]

If you're interested, don't say no. Problem solved. If a woman turns down my advances, I'm moving on. I have options. If she gets pissed, I'll say "You shouldn't have said no". This is why many women have problems with dating. They play games.

 

Well, but sometimes there is actually a conflict.

 

I think this sums it up rather well:

 

If I had high level interest - I'd have just asked him out later or suggested a different day myself. If I didn't ask or make a suggestion? It was because I wasn't all that interested but not totally uninterested, figuring if he wanted to tip that scale, he could ask again or suggest some other time and day.

 

That she'd tell you anything about her schedule rather than simply saying no should let you know she isn't completely UNinterested. With zero interest, she isn't going to tell you anything about her schedule because it would be none of your business.

Sort of the same thing as another thread floating around where the woman is wondering why the guy waits a few days to respond to her contacts (I think I linked to it up above in a previous post in this thread). Same thing - interest level not that high on his part, very likely, but he's not entirely uninterested. Edited November 22, 2010 by flying

[hydorclops]

So what about this scenario:

 

Me, "Hey would you like to have dinner Thursday night?"

 

Her, "I like to have dinner every night."

 

Is she interested? Should I keep trying?

[carhill]

'I'd love to take you to dinner Thursday night at xxxx. Pick you up at seven?'