threebyfate Posted November 22, 2010 Posted November 22, 2010 Haha! The guys who hint that they'll walk make it so easy. Love my filter!! It is pretty funny if you think of the psychology behind it. *stomps feet* "I'm going away if you don't put out!" "Buh-bye!"
tami-chan Posted November 22, 2010 Posted November 22, 2010 Leave your personal distaste for me out of OG's thread. Thanks. Personal distaste? huh? Why would I have that for you? I do not even know you or your story. Are you ok? Do you really believe that? That's disturbed, this is just the net! It wasn't sarcastic. It was an honest inquiry... Oh..? you fooled me with that "rolling eyes smiley" . Usually "honest inquiries" are not accompanied by "rolling eyes"smileys. ..just saying...
810 Posted November 22, 2010 Posted November 22, 2010 (edited) It would be harder to take a guy leaving after a few months vs a few days though. Sorry, but if a guy just wants sex, he'll leave after he's got it be it the second date or twenty-second. again, if it's just for a winter warmth then go for it. if OG wants a serious relationship, then she should wait. Guys won't wait and court for months just to have sex and then leave the girl. that's one of the ways to filter guys. people don't walk away something easily after they invest their time in. Edited November 22, 2010 by 810
LexiB Posted November 22, 2010 Posted November 22, 2010 (Anyone catch that he has a huge TV? Why is that even relevant? I bet he has a house at the beach too....) Thought that seemed a rather unnecessary mention myself, especially considering the fact that 60 inch tvs aren't exactly rare these days. Honestly, my first reaction was that og may have been subconsciously correlating the size of one unit with another...
Star Gazer Posted November 22, 2010 Posted November 22, 2010 again, if it's just for a winter warmth then go for it. She's in Australia. I don't blame her for wanting some "body heat" (), but she doesn't need it; it's not winter there right now.
810 Posted November 22, 2010 Posted November 22, 2010 She's in Australia. I don't blame her for wanting some "body heat" (), but she doesn't need it; it's not winter there right now. oopz, then it should be summer fling
Author OceanGirl Posted November 22, 2010 Author Posted November 22, 2010 OK guys, brutal honesty here: He is not on a pedestal. I know some things about him (and I would rather not go into them - it's nothing to do with his interest level in me) that make me think this is not going to pan out into anything more than a fling. This is where my "few weeks/few months" mentality comes from. I feel like I should enjoy it while it lasts. He says that he is looking for a relationship. His OKC profile says he is looking for a LTR only. But I don't think that is quite ready for that given how his life is set up. I feel like I will most likely have a bursts of his attention followed by days of nothingness. He still gives me the unreliable vibe. As for the sweet things he said, I am no fool. He was turned on by me all evening and a turned on guy will think that you are the greatest while he is turned on.. My OP sounded so excited because I am just excited that I could even find this level of connection with someone. I struggled for years thinking that I can not connect at all. I am aware of the risks. And I don't see what is wrong with embracing heart break if it happens. If you live your life being too cautious, you will find that you haven't lived at all. I am just trying to live in the moment and not get attached to the outcome.
Author OceanGirl Posted November 22, 2010 Author Posted November 22, 2010 BTW being overly dramatic and overly excited is just a part of my personality
Star Gazer Posted November 22, 2010 Posted November 22, 2010 He is not on a pedestal. I know some things about him (and I would rather not go into them - it's nothing to do with his interest level in me) that make me think this is not going to pan out into anything more than a fling. This is where my "few weeks/few months" mentality comes from. I feel like I should enjoy it while it lasts. Then why bother? While you're wasting your time with Mr. Right-Now, the REAL Mr. Right will pass you by. Are you so starved and desperate (for lack of a better word ) for attention and affection that you'll settle for Mr. Not Good Enough For Long-Term, just to get some scraps? And what about HIS feelings? If he's thinking you're in it for the long haul, is it fair to use him for a fling??
Star Gazer Posted November 22, 2010 Posted November 22, 2010 BTW being overly dramatic and overly excited is just a part of my personality Do you have any intention on working on that?
threebyfate Posted November 22, 2010 Posted November 22, 2010 Hey OG, I'll be the last person to dissaude you from a short-term relationship, possibly with an expiry date. Mine turned out great, where we had fun together for a short time and then split for a number of reasons which were understood at the outset. So, at least on my side, there were no expectations so it was easy to not allow myself to invest too heavily. He on the otherhand, allowed himself to invest to a greater degree and got a bit hurt when it ended. But in recovering, he realized that it was best for all, that it ended. Our lifestyles and his career were not compatible. As it stands, whenever he's in town, he hangs out with us here and there. Our normalcy appears to help ground him. But, you'd best be honest with yourself about what you're capable of handling. I'd sincerely hate to see you hurt badly.
Star Gazer Posted November 22, 2010 Posted November 22, 2010 As long as she makes her intentions clear to him (by directly communicating that it's a fling only), I suppose there's nothing wrong with a short-term relationship if that's really all she's looking for. But I strongly advise against leading him on.
Author OceanGirl Posted November 22, 2010 Author Posted November 22, 2010 Star, if I was so starved for affection, I had number of prospects before him in whom I wasn't interested in at all. I genuninly enjoy being with him. Not everything has to end in marriage. I don't think I am wasting my time at all. I have no problem with being alone (and have been alone by choice for a number of years). But I enjoy his company very much. TBF - I don't think that I will be badly hurt because I am not investing much on an emotional level...
harmfulsweetz Posted November 22, 2010 Posted November 22, 2010 Then why bother? While you're wasting your time with Mr. Right-Now, the REAL Mr. Right will pass you by. Are you so starved and desperate (for lack of a better word ) for attention and affection that you'll settle for Mr. Not Good Enough For Long-Term, just to get some scraps? And what about HIS feelings? If he's thinking you're in it for the long haul, is it fair to use him for a fling?? I think (from my view) you've misread OG. She was saying that (in my opinion) she isn't certain it can be anything more than a fling from his side. I think she's just trying to be cautious and realistic, rather than pinning all her hopes on this lasting forever. I don't think it's fair to call her desperate, I don't think she's that at all. I think she genuinely likes him, but is being realistic and going with the flow-which is a good thing. Obviously, if there are red flags over his ability to commit due to whatever reason-(which she knows) she should tread carefully. And OG, I think you should both (when it gets more serious) sit down and talk about your expectations. Do you have any intention on working on that? I like that she's over-excitable and that, it's endearing almost, it's nice to see that someone puts themselves 'out there' and allows themselves to feel things. OK guys, brutal honesty here: He is not on a pedestal. I know some things about him (and I would rather not go into them - it's nothing to do with his interest level in me) that make me think this is not going to pan out into anything more than a fling. This is where my "few weeks/few months" mentality comes from. I feel like I should enjoy it while it lasts. He says that he is looking for a relationship. His OKC profile says he is looking for a LTR only. But I don't think that is quite ready for that given how his life is set up. I feel like I will most likely have a bursts of his attention followed by days of nothingness. He still gives me the unreliable vibe. As for the sweet things he said, I am no fool. He was turned on by me all evening and a turned on guy will think that you are the greatest while he is turned on.. My OP sounded so excited because I am just excited that I could even find this level of connection with someone. I struggled for years thinking that I can not connect at all. I am aware of the risks. And I don't see what is wrong with embracing heart break if it happens. If you live your life being too cautious, you will find that you haven't lived at all. I am just trying to live in the moment and not get attached to the outcome. That is a good way to look at it. Go with the flow, let what happens happen naturally, and don't be too concerned with what could potentially happen.
Star Gazer Posted November 22, 2010 Posted November 22, 2010 Star, if I was so starved for affection, I had number of prospects before him in whom I wasn't interested in at all. I genuninly enjoy being with him. Not everything has to end in marriage. I don't think I am wasting my time at all. I have no problem with being alone (and have been alone by choice for a number of years). But I enjoy his company very much. TBF - I don't think that I will be badly hurt because I am not investing much on an emotional level... Huh??? Isn't "I think I'm FALLING IN LOVE" the very definition of emotional investment??
threebyfate Posted November 22, 2010 Posted November 22, 2010 Okay OG. If you feel you're capable of handling this, then have fun!
Art_Critic Posted November 22, 2010 Posted November 22, 2010 TBF - I don't think that I will be badly hurt because I am not investing much on an emotional level... I hope so OG.. but the thread title is : Wow I think I am falling in love that already is showing emotional investment.. unless of course you just said it as an off the cuff thing rather than meaning it...
U1987 Posted November 22, 2010 Posted November 22, 2010 Oceangirl, I think you missed the last post I made on your last thread. I think the PM system isn't working; it took me a few tries to send my first message and I've met some people who say that PM doesn't work well either. I don't know if you've gotten my messages or attempted to message me back and it failed, so I'm forced to resort to trying to reach you on threads. Have you gotten my message?
Art_Critic Posted November 22, 2010 Posted November 22, 2010 Okay OG. If you feel you're capable of handling this, then have fun! Yeah.. I guess this sums it up.. By the way U1987.. give it a rest..
Star Gazer Posted November 22, 2010 Posted November 22, 2010 I hope so OG.. but the thread title is : Wow I think I am falling in love that already is showing emotional investment.. unless of course you just said it as an off the cuff thing rather than meaning it... I really don't think of it is off-the-cuff. Read her OP again, she's invested already. And then she says this: I know it's really early, but I really felt strong connection with him on the first date (yes this is only the second date). Whenever I imagined falling in love, this was how I pictured it. We are so comfortable with each other yet so attracted at the same time.
xpaperxcutx Posted November 23, 2010 Posted November 23, 2010 So what exactly does OG want from the guy? A fling or a relationship? I think if she knows where she stands, then it wouldn't be so complicated.
Beerme Posted November 23, 2010 Posted November 23, 2010 If the OP has sex or not isn't a big deal to me. I don't know her at all, so I can't comment on whether she should or shouldn't. Apparently, she has some sort of history of interesting behavior from some of the comments. Anyway, she's a grownup, so she can do what she wants. What I do find funny is that she's thinks she's falling in love after two dates. Let's face it, to truly fall in love takes more than two dates. What she is doing is falling in lust. I'm not bashing that at all though. That's actually probably more of the normal timeline. Lust first, and then love. At least hopefully!
tami-chan Posted November 23, 2010 Posted November 23, 2010 Maybe some of us are being too literal about her statement? According to her she is "over-excitable"..so that is just her being herself and exaggerating her feelings... How many times have we said "I think I am in love" in a silly, giddy moment? I know I have. So, lay off her statement already,the woman has since clarified herself.
Mme. Chaucer Posted November 23, 2010 Posted November 23, 2010 What I do find funny is that she's thinks she's falling in love after two dates. Compounded by the fact that merely yesterday, the myriad of red flags about this guy and his behavior, his interest in her, etc. warranted a "launch." Disclaimer: I am NOT advocating the launch. Nor am I advocating the "love." I'm in favor of DATING, getting to know this person as he really is, letting him get to know you (NOT only in relation to how handily he jumps through hoops, either), seeing what his "relationship style" is and if it matches yours ... etc. BEFORE falling in love. Or having sex, even, in your case, OG.
Author OceanGirl Posted November 23, 2010 Author Posted November 23, 2010 Falling in love was just cactchy silly statement, I don't actually mean it. Yes, I am somewhat infatuated but I am well aware that 2 dates are not nearly enough for that to happen
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