OceanGirl Posted November 22, 2010 Posted November 22, 2010 I had the most amazing date with my guy I am the happiest that I have been in years. There were so many moments...but we connected on all levels. He was very verbally expressive and told me things like: I could listen to you speak forever, I could kiss you forever. you are the sexiest, most gorgeous woman I have ever met. I feel like I am dreaming and I am going to wake up any time now... etc etc. He went to the toilet once and some other guy tried to chat me up during dinner lol. He came back and saw this and came up to the guy and said "Sorry mate, this is my girl" The other guy told him "You lucky bastard" lol I can't even remember all of it....We were holding hands all the time..Across the table.. while walking...kissed all the time too. It got a bit too hot so they kicked us out of the restaurant lol We have so much in common. We both are the biggest fans of Dexter... We have similar senses of humor... I am seeing him tomorrow after work. I am going over to his place to watch the first season of Dexter on his 60 inch TV. We are probably going to have sex and I am gonig to go with the flow. I figure...the worst thing that can happen is he will break my heart. I have been heart broken so many times before and I lived. I am not going to live my life in fear. I just never thought I could connect with anyone this well.
Untouchable_Fire Posted November 22, 2010 Posted November 22, 2010 He went to the toilet once and some other guy tried to chat me up during dinner lol. He came back and saw this and came up to the guy and said "Sorry mate, this is my girl" The other guy told him "You lucky bastard" lol I have learned over time that while I don't have an issue backing guys off my girl. However, If she is flirting up the next guy in the bare few moments that it takes to pee, I lose respect for her right then and there. I am seeing him tomorrow after work. I am going over to his place to watch the first season of Dexter on his 60 inch TV. We are probably going to have sex and I am gonig to go with the flow. Is this a 2nd date? I'm overall happy that you found someone that seems to fit you so well. I just caution you against making snap judgments about him. Most people don't know you well enough to really open up until the 5th or 6th date. It's hard to get a true sense of who and what your dealing with before that.
Author OceanGirl Posted November 22, 2010 Author Posted November 22, 2010 I know it's really early, but I really felt strong connection with him on the first date (yes this is only the second date). I am spending next two evenings with him so we will see how that goes. Whenever I imagined falling in love, this was how I pictured it. We are so comfortable with each other yet so attracted at the same time. If I could only have few months with him, I would be happy.
anne1707 Posted November 22, 2010 Posted November 22, 2010 I am pleased for you OG but how have you explained away the "work function" you were supposed to be going on tomorrow night?
OpenBook Posted November 22, 2010 Posted November 22, 2010 Don't have sex with him! Don't have sex with him! Don't have sex with him! Danger Danger Will Robinson! This is the danger zone. Exciting, but dangerous. You both need more time with each other under your belt - and ideally in a monogamous relationship with each other before you have sex. It's too soon right now!
Author OceanGirl Posted November 22, 2010 Author Posted November 22, 2010 I am pleased for you OG but how have you explained away the "work function" you were supposed to be going on tomorrow night? Oh sh^t... we have both completely forgotten about it.,. We are kind of in a daze. Ooops. I will just say I blew it off if he asks.
Author OceanGirl Posted November 22, 2010 Author Posted November 22, 2010 Don't have sex with him! Don't have sex with him! Don't have sex with him! Danger Danger Will Robinson! This is the danger zone. Exciting, but dangerous. You both need more time with each other under your belt - and ideally in a monogamous relationship with each other before you have sex. It's too soon right now! Yeah, a part of me is worried that sex is all he wants. Do you think I could spend whole evening at his place and say no to sex? Is that an OK thing to do?
Author OceanGirl Posted November 22, 2010 Author Posted November 22, 2010 Yeah, a part of me is worried that sex is all he wants. Do you think I could spend whole evening at his place and say no to sex? Is that an OK thing to do? Ugh, yeah we ALMOST had sex tonight :S
OpenBook Posted November 22, 2010 Posted November 22, 2010 Yeah, a part of me is worried that sex is all he wants. Do you think I could spend whole evening at his place and say no to sex? Is that an OK thing to do? Don't spend the whole evening at his place. It's too soon! Cut the evening short at some point - leave before you/he falls asleep. A very VERY hard thing to do when you're falling in love - but it's the best thing you could do for yourself.
Untouchable_Fire Posted November 22, 2010 Posted November 22, 2010 I know it's really early, but I really felt strong connection with him on the first date (yes this is only the second date). I am spending next two evenings with him so we will see how that goes. Whenever I imagined falling in love, this was how I pictured it. We are so comfortable with each other yet so attracted at the same time. If I could only have few months with him, I would be happy. No that won't make you happy. Just a few months? No way could you walk away from that happy. What are you thinking? That would crush you... Do you you really think your strong enough to handle that kind of rejection after getting that emotional with him? It sounds like he is into you. Which is good. I like the idea of just going with the flow. I don't like the combination of "I'm falling in love" and "sex on the third date". You need to take steps to remove one of those items. Independently they are cool... together its bad news. You feel me?
OpenBook Posted November 22, 2010 Posted November 22, 2010 And I'm sure I'll get slammed from the guys on this - but it's also the best thing for him too. Trust me on this.
Untouchable_Fire Posted November 22, 2010 Posted November 22, 2010 And I'm sure I'll get slammed from the guys on this - but it's also the best thing for him too. Trust me on this. No... I totally agree. I usually push for sex as fast as possible. 1st, 2nd, 3rd.. dates are all really common. So common I think that it just left me with a blah feeling. Current GF coyly put me off for a while... on the 6th date we had a 3 hour kissing session. It was so hot I felt like I was going to melt. A few weeks after that we went all the way. A month and a half of pent up passion... it was like releasing a steam valve. :bunny: :bunny::bunny:
Author OceanGirl Posted November 22, 2010 Author Posted November 22, 2010 OK, I will try to leave early and not fall asleep there. At the same time it would be SO natural to fall asleep with him. I agree with you. I am not sure at this point if he is just sweet talking me. But he seems VERY into me. He even asked me why I am wearing some ring on my engagement finger. It is just some random ring (and it only fits there). He said that he would really like it if I removed it as he keeps thinking that I am engaged to soemone else when he sees it. This is kind of bizarre.
harmfulsweetz Posted November 22, 2010 Posted November 22, 2010 I had the most amazing date with my guy I am the happiest that I have been in years. There were so many moments...but we connected on all levels. He was very verbally expressive and told me things like: I could listen to you speak forever, I could kiss you forever. you are the sexiest, most gorgeous woman I have ever met. I feel like I am dreaming and I am going to wake up any time now... etc etc. He went to the toilet once and some other guy tried to chat me up during dinner lol. He came back and saw this and came up to the guy and said "Sorry mate, this is my girl" The other guy told him "You lucky bastard" lol I can't even remember all of it....We were holding hands all the time..Across the table.. while walking...kissed all the time too. It got a bit too hot so they kicked us out of the restaurant lol We have so much in common. We both are the biggest fans of Dexter... We have similar senses of humor... I am seeing him tomorrow after work. I am going over to his place to watch the first season of Dexter on his 60 inch TV. We are probably going to have sex and I am gonig to go with the flow. I figure...the worst thing that can happen is he will break my heart. I have been heart broken so many times before and I lived. I am not going to live my life in fear. I just never thought I could connect with anyone this well. :bunny: I'm really pleased for you! Enjoy it, and go with the flow! It's good to see you finally have some luck on the manfront, :bunny:
harmfulsweetz Posted November 22, 2010 Posted November 22, 2010 OK, I will try to leave early and not fall asleep there. At the same time it would be SO natural to fall asleep with him. I agree with you. I am not sure at this point if he is just sweet talking me. But he seems VERY into me. He even asked me why I am wearing some ring on my engagement finger. It is just some random ring (and it only fits there). He said that he would really like it if I removed it as he keeps thinking that I am engaged to soemone else when he sees it. This is kind of bizarre. I, personally, wouldn't remove it if it was a special ring i.e. one with sentimental value, but if it was just a ring that I randomly put on, I would. You know? It is kind of bizarre, but there you go.
Art_Critic Posted November 22, 2010 Posted November 22, 2010 I think you are building yourself up for a fall OG... you have only had 2 dates and you are falling in love ? Please don't sleep with him too soon.. he will just disappear and you will be back here wondering why.. Good luck
Author OceanGirl Posted November 22, 2010 Author Posted November 22, 2010 I think you are building yourself up for a fall OG... you have only had 2 dates and you are falling in love ? Please don't sleep with him too soon.. he will just disappear and you will be back here wondering why.. Good luck You know, I have spent 4 years being in love with my married boss and obsessing over it and posting countless threads on LS. Even if I have few weeks of happiness with someone that I really like, who seems to like me back and with whom there is at least potential for a relationship, I will take it. I have had my heart completely crushed before, more than once, and I recovered each time. At least I know I will recover again if it comes to that.
NoLongerSad Posted November 22, 2010 Posted November 22, 2010 OG you are not emotionally healthy enough to be in a relationship with anyone.
LexiB Posted November 22, 2010 Posted November 22, 2010 I think you are building yourself up for a fall OG... you have only had 2 dates and you are falling in love ? Please don't sleep with him too soon.. he will just disappear and you will be back here wondering why.. Good luck Agreed. Isn't this the same guy who just yesterday you were were willing to write off completely and irrevocably because he tried to reschedule your date...for the next day? This could end up being a really good thing for you and hopefully it will be, but it seems like your emotions have already been all over the board with this guy and you've only been out twice. Tread lightly, 'tis all.
Author OceanGirl Posted November 22, 2010 Author Posted November 22, 2010 My emotions have always been all over the board lol that's nothing new.
harmfulsweetz Posted November 22, 2010 Posted November 22, 2010 I do agree you should definitely take things slow, enjoy them for what they are, but don't pin your hopes all on him. The problem with it is that it does seem like you are letting him/his actions dictate how you feel about yourself etc-i.e. he cancelled (originally) you were ready to bail, he rescheduled with his friends and you ended up having a great date. This is fantastic, but placing so much weight on him when just one night ago you were doubting it all, is risky. Take it slow, and enjoy it. You found someone you really like, and I, for one, am glad to read it, and happy for you. Have a good date tomorrow night! :bunny:
GuySimple Posted November 22, 2010 Posted November 22, 2010 Careful with nice verbal comments if they are not followed by actions that are even nicer. Words are for most guys the easiest way to express themselves and sometimes the easiest way when they are trying to convince themselves or verbally creating a situation they want, rather than what they feel. A very wise person told me once, as a guy, if you show it properly, you shouldn't have to say a thing...you'd both just know. This is particularly true after one or two dates. That feeling is like the first glass of wine. It is always the warmest and the best. Sorry for the downer note, don't just say 'take it slow' actually take it slow and tell him you are. If you worth it to him, he will pace you and respect your feelings. How he does this should determine if he is worth it to you.
youaretheone Posted November 22, 2010 Posted November 22, 2010 I am very happy for you, but seeing your last topic about this guy, delaying the date, I find this sudden state of falling in love a bit... fast. I would assume it to be normal if I haven't seen your previous thread but this is your life so enjoy it! Good luck.
daphne Posted November 22, 2010 Posted November 22, 2010 OG, For once I agree with Art Critic. I hate to be Debbie Downer, but you go from one extreme to the other. One minute, you think this guy is a d***, when there's plenty of room for benefit of the doubt. The next minute you're in love and "going with the flow" equates to having sex as soon as possible. You say that even a few weeks of happiness is worth getting your heart broken, but believe me these are flip words right now. If it happens you'll be beating yourself up asking why you're stupid enough to believe the guy when there were warning signs. Love is not infatuation. Infatuation is usually chemically induced. You are a player's dream. You give up a good fight for 48 hours, but then you can be manipulated by your own misinterpretation of love. And a few sweet words that EVERY GUY SAYS when he thinks a girl is hot. It is not extraordinary. I guess what I'm trying to say is that you are extreme. There is a more balanced approach to dating by proceeding with caution, and give the benefit of the doubt until you can no longer. I'm concerned that you actually enjoy the drama more than you realize.
Sarabina Posted November 22, 2010 Posted November 22, 2010 I'll just throw in my two cents If you are dating just to be with someone nice for a few days, and to get laid, then go ahead and do it. BUT If you are dating to find someone you love and someone you can spend the rest of your life with, then don't have sex on the second or third date, wait for a few months (atleast 2), so that you know he likes you for you and not just because he wants to get in your pants!
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