Pencil Posted November 22, 2010 Posted November 22, 2010 This past year I became friends with someone. I thought we had become close friends, or so i thought until they backstabbed me and turned against me on a dime this past summer. During the course of our friendship, I had gifted this person with several things including a beautiful cashmere sweater, when this person was having a hard time, to cheer them up and for a change of scenery i would take them on little outings out of town, for picnics, swims in rivers etc. I did this as a friend and it made me happy to do this. I was my treat. Well this person completely turned against me this past summer during a trip to Peru. i have yet to receive a legitimate explanation, a full apology and amends for the hurt they inflicted. I'm willing to forgive. When I asked for Pax, he gave me a run- around bull**** answer. I don't think I'm ever going to get that explanation, apology or amends. I calculated everything I gifted this person with this past year (I should add, this person never gave me anything) and it comes out to about $300. Seeing as there probably never will be a return to friendship, I'm tempted to ask for these items (or cash equivalent) back. If they don't want my friendship or me in their life, then why should they be holding on to the gifts I gave them? I'm sure local charities could benefit from these items and monies instead. So this is my question: Should I ask for these items/$ back and ensure that we dislike each other forever by doing so or should i take the high road and write it all off and keep the lesson learned instead?
Scottie Posted November 22, 2010 Posted November 22, 2010 This past year I became friends with someone. I thought we had become close friends, or so i thought until they backstabbed me and turned against me on a dime this past summer. During the course of our friendship, I had gifted this person with several things including a beautiful cashmere sweater, when this person was having a hard time, to cheer them up and for a change of scenery i would take them on little outings out of town, for picnics, swims in rivers etc. I did this as a friend and it made me happy to do this. I was my treat. Well this person completely turned against me this past summer during a trip to Peru. i have yet to receive a legitimate explanation, a full apology and amends for the hurt they inflicted. I'm willing to forgive. When I asked for Pax, he gave me a run- around bull**** answer. I don't think I'm ever going to get that explanation, apology or amends. I calculated everything I gifted this person with this past year (I should add, this person never gave me anything) and it comes out to about $300. Seeing as there probably never will be a return to friendship, I'm tempted to ask for these items (or cash equivalent) back. If they don't want my friendship or me in their life, then why should they be holding on to the gifts I gave them? I'm sure local charities could benefit from these items and monies instead. So this is my question: Should I ask for these items/$ back and ensure that we dislike each other forever by doing so or should i take the high road and write it all off and keep the lesson learned instead? What are the chances of you getting them back from him?
PegNosePete Posted November 22, 2010 Posted November 22, 2010 If you want the gifts back then you gave them for the wrong reason.
tinktronik Posted November 22, 2010 Posted November 22, 2010 You can't un-gift things. Gifts once given are gone.
hART Posted December 2, 2010 Posted December 2, 2010 When you give something to someone, it is understood it is theirs no matter what. No take backs, just be happy it wasn't more.
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