Livin Lrge Has Arrived and Nice To Meet You All

[Livin Lrge]

Hi All,

I've finally signed up and this is my first post.

I've been lurking in the background from time to time, to be truthful it's every time I've experience a break up from the same girl. I'm a sucker for punishment.

This time I have decided there is no fourth chance,

Every time I have excepted her back there was promises on changing and doing things different. It works for about two months and then the changes are stopped. could be a case of Bi polar I don't know for sure.

I'm not going to bore you with the long story but I'm here for anyone that needs a buddy during these tuff times.

I for one have experience in winning an x back a few times so I have done everything in the book.... any questions ask away....

I have read many stories that have helped me along my way to recovery and thank you all for posting your stories.

I think it's about time I help you guys out.

 

Livin Lrge

[Trovador]

Welcome, bro...

 

My background is similar to yours and now I know for sure that getting back together is overrated...

[Nkognito]

Trust me, you won't bore us with your story but it would be nice to know how things worked out. I am here to understand relationship psyche of both genders. I have come across and I swear its the weirdest thing, but I have ran acorss at least 5-6 relationships that have identical behavior to my last girlfriend. Whilst I do not hope her her Ali like return, I still like to know different situations because I am curious and if by chance I run into something identical, it would be nice to reference another persons story.

[AlisaMarie]

Hey!

Um... same situation! I am glad to see you are positive about everything! I am still a wreck. I would like to know the details of your story to compare them with mine. It was brought to my attention that mine may be suffering from borderline personality disorder. It's close to bi-polar, but who knows, I don't have a psychology degree!

[victoria.v]

*raises hand*

heeeey... I need a talk buddy too!

[AlisaMarie]

Hi Victoria! I'll be your talk buddy!

[victoria.v]

this should be fun. I'll be yours then. But uhm, how de we contact each other?

[Livin Lrge]

Hi again,

Thanks for your replies,

My story is as follows.

I dated this girl back in high school for a bit and than i never saw her again until 10 years later.

She took my breath away.

we had so much in common, we loved to shop, eat good food, watching movies, going on my boat, walks, runs and I had a little dog and so did she, ( same breed.I had the dog before i met her.

the relationship I had with this girl was very testing for me, i was always walking on eggshells, If i looked at another girl bang i was in trouble, i mean if a hot girl walked past i was in trouble before i even seen who had just walked past. when she got dressed and i didn't tell her how pretty she looked i was in the ****. This girl is beautiful and she always wanted reassurance from me. This grew tiring as she was beautiful. did she know how beautiful yes but deep down there was something wrong.

When I accepted her again after each break up she would tell me she would change her attitude towards some underling problems in our relationship.

One.

The way if something small happened that she didn't like she would stay upset for days. if there was a problem lets talk about it.

Two.

Going out more.

This girl had two friend that i only saw three times in our two year relationship.

she would stop me from going out with my friends....

She wouldn't say no don't go out she would mind f**k me.

make me feel guilty for thinking of going out with out her.

Three.

She would always say I'm sick, every single day there was something wrong.

she did get sick quite a lot but everyday was a drama.

Four.

Her mum was very vindictive towards her.

Mum is a very difficult person. so she was always trying to please her mum.

her brother was the golden boy.

I would have to see the punishment her mum bought on her.

 

The above points are a few problems we faced.

I was no angel but i certainly did give her the respect and love any girl would love to have.

I accepted her back every time with out a long drawn out process.

 

I'll continue soon with the story..

[AlisaMarie]

Livin Lrge,

Hey, it sounds like she may have a little bit of a personality disorder like bi-polar, or borderline personality disorder. Google it and see if it applies. I found it very helpful in dealing with the stress of my toxic relationship because I went through the same things. It's nice to know that it really isn't you...it's them!

[victoria.v]

We all have our insecurities, but sometimes they transform into something harmful, and it's not good then...

I've created a new e-mail address (which I'll delete in a couple of days), in case you wanna contact me (and I'll give you my real one): v_talk_buddy @yahoo.com

[J Wool]

Hey Livin Lrge, I'd like 2 know the methods of getting back an ex. I've been through 3 serious relationship, they all ended it. The 1st 2 I act desperate and needy I figured that's the reason 4 not getting back. For this 1 I some how rely on no contact.

 

After 4 months (very few contacts...like she would email to ask how I'm doing and exchange b/day greetings. Nothing as it relates to relationship) she contact me stating all my faults and that she has started dating. I remain cool and wish her well b4 disappearing.

 

She actually did 2 things b4 I went into NC

1. she deleted me as a friend on a social site...in the email she asked that a now accept her request. I did to c what she was up to. Only 2 find out that she posts alot about her new found love which is just 2 months. Things like she have waited all along 4 him like what we had was nothing even though she wanted to marry me (we were engaged, she initiated she was ready so I proposed). To heal all wounds I removed myself from the site...I must admit I've been feeling better since.

2. she blocked me on msn, and now I can c when she is online...she can't c me though.

[Livin Lrge]

Hey Livin Lrge, I'd like 2 know the methods of getting back an ex. I've been through 3 serious relationship, they all ended it. The 1st 2 I act desperate and needy I figured that's the reason 4 not getting back. For this 1 I some how rely on no contact.

 

After 4 months (very few contacts...like she would email to ask how I'm doing and exchange b/day greetings. Nothing as it relates to relationship) she contact me stating all my faults and that she has started dating. I remain cool and wish her well b4 disappearing.

 

She actually did 2 things b4 I went into NC

1. she deleted me as a friend on a social site...in the email she asked that a now accept her request. I did to c what she was up to. Only 2 find out that she posts alot about her new found love which is just 2 months. Things like she have waited all along 4 him like what we had was nothing even though she wanted to marry me (we were engaged, she initiated she was ready so I proposed). To heal all wounds I removed myself from the site...I must admit I've been feeling better since.

2. she blocked me on msn, and now I can c when she is online...she can't c me though.

 

 

 

The first thing you need to do is understand on some level that they might not return and do you really think having them back is going to bring the happiness you are desiring.

If you choose to win them back you need to select the right tools for the job.

How do they tick, what makes them happy, there soft spot, what went wrong the first time.

preparation is key.

let me know how you broke up and why and i can give you more direction.

Let prepare to do battle.

regards

Livin Lrge

[J Wool]

She states that she is not happy (we have been together 4 3 yrs, most of it living together, we were also engaged). She also states my faults then says she is no longer blaming me 4 the break up becoz she too is at fault. By accepting the break up I started leaving her to her own decisions. She realized that I was backing off and asked that we still do the stuff that we do as a couple. As hard as it was I obliged.

 

Shortly after that she said it's not right, we can't b facing a break up and still do stuff together. This I figured she got her advise/influence from outsiders. I went cold on her once more and I noticed that she started testing the waters with me but I continue 2 shut her out.

 

Long story short, we were living together up to 3 months of the BU, then I move. After moving I maintain minimal contact with her, then eventually reached NC.

 

After 4 months of me moving she emailed again blaming me and to state that she has finally started dating. I responded and wish her all the best. From what I gathered she has been posting on a social site how magnificent this new perosn is and she have waited all her life 4 him. The posting started 2 months after I moved and at the time of emailing me she would have been dating this person 2 months now and she is already claiming he is the perfect 1 4 her.

 

What's her motive for emailing me out of the blue about her "finally started dating"?

 

I mean if that perosn is real and the r/s is just 2 months old IMO it's too early to be boasting.

Edited November 25, 2010 by J Wool

[Livin Lrge]

She states that she is not happy (we have been together 4 3 yrs, most of it living together, we were also engaged). She also states my faults then says she is no longer blaming me 4 the break up becoz she too is at fault. By accepting the break up I started leaving her to her own decisions. She realized that I was backing off and asked that we still do the stuff that we do as a couple. As hard as it was I obliged.

 

Shortly after that she said it's not right, we can't b facing a break up and still do stuff together. This I figured she got her advise/influence from outsiders. I went cold on her once more and I noticed that she started testing the waters with me but I continue 2 shut her out.

 

Long story short, we were living together up to 3 months of the BU, then I move. After moving I maintain minimal contact with her, then eventually reached NC.

 

After 4 months of me moving she emailed again blaming me and to state that she has finally started dating. I responded and wish her all the best. From what I gathered she has been posting on a social site how magnificent this new perosn is and she have waited all her life 4 him. The posting started 2 months after I moved and at the time of emailing me she would have been dating this person 2 months now and she is already claiming he is the perfect 1 4 her.

 

What's her motive for emailing me out of the blue about her "finally started dating"?

 

I mean if that perosn is real and the r/s is just 2 months old IMO it's too early to be boasting.

 

 

From what you wrote I think she is a little lost, Whats her age.

After a four year relationship it's easy for girls to get complacent.

The signs point to Grass is greener syndrome.

The best way to work this situation and only if you want her back is to arm your self with these tools.

1. confidence

2. You will need to go out and find someone to semi hook up with, you need girls hanging around you.

you need to show her she is not the be all or end all.

3.Go LC and no relationship talk of you guys just what you have been doing on weekends. Make her Laugh, be happy, don't tell what she wants to hear, Be a Man.

4. keep her off your Facebook page.

5. Dress smart, get your teeth whitened, smart hair cut, clean car, clean the house,

6. train hard, swim,

7. Hang around good friends.

 

The idea is to slowly become the person you were when you guys first met.

If you can keep LC we have a big advantage.

we need to make her jealous with out letting her assume this is your motive.

We need you to become a man whore for now. Not in the exact wording but we need to get you out there.

use the tools mentioned above.

Once you have a couple of girls keen to go on a date, go on a date only once or twice with the same girl. Become friends with them on facebook and put up a few photos with them.

Let your ex know that you have been busy and that you have met a few new people. don't say you have been on dates.... just coffee or make something up. let them her know but dont throw it in her face.

 

Don't bite when she talks about her new flame,

keep the call short and always finish the call first.

Once three or Four weeks have past you may add her to Facebook....

But make sure the Photos of the new chick are two weeks old at a Min.

All the while you have been training looking good and your mind set is busting with confidence.

Walk tall, eat good, stay of the booze or smoke and let me know how you progress.

Livin Lrge

[J Wool]

She is 24 and I was her 1st. I saw her once after the email and I remain cool and calm with a smile (from the corner of my eyes I saw her smiling and blushing)

[Livin Lrge]

She is 24 and I was her 1st. I saw her once after the email and I remain cool and calm with a smile (from the corner of my eyes I saw her smiling and blushing)

 

 

Just as I thought.

Still young....

be prepare this might take a little bit of time.

Also understand if you do win her back you need to keep her their.

there's a lot to do once you win her back...

otherwise they don't stay long.

I think you have a good chance to win her back.

[J Wool]

Just 2 reason a bit. Even though she initiated the BU at the end of March, we continue to share intimacy. Romance that both of us enjoyed and were initiated by both party, which ended at the end of May.

 

IMO to date I would consider our BU to be fresh and also her new flame to be in the honeymoon stage. Now y would after removing me as a friend on FB and her new r/s about 2 months old she would want to add me back?

 

Wouldn't her new bf be curious that she is now opening communications between her ex that she was 1) engaged to, 2) lived with for 2 yrs, and 3) her 1st?