A must for dumpees

[Gt.ooh]

I've realized something that works against anyone of us dumpees...The TIME we need to pass in order for us to heal also works very much against us.

 

It's been 3 months for me that's felt like a year.

 

What I'm saying is...before you think u want to contact:

 

3 months(my example) is not really that long. If your strong enough to not contact keep up the good work..

 

If your NOT strong enough, like I wasn't...then sit back and think about how much time REALLY has passed.

 

I just want to stress stress stress, that when u talk like 6+ months thats a long time (if you've had no contact if not very very limited)..

 

Anything before that in my mind isn't all that long. Stay strong, realize the time factor before u think about doing anything u may regret. All these new dumpees on here that are complaining about a week, or month GET OVER it, because a month is nothing in terms of a break-up. It just feels like a LOT longer.

 

Cheers guys. Hate to be crude to a degree but in the business of being a dumpee its in your best interest to invest in the advice.

[Heatemyheart89]

I agree a day a week a month is not long.took me a year and a half to get over my ex!ahhh

[hearttobreak]

Sadly, I gave in and contacted my ex after we broke cause I never heard from her in 3 months. Bad idea. Apparently, she did not know the difference between a break and a break up. Suffice to say, she already moved on and started doing another man. I was like, wow. She didn't tell me, but I found out from others. It still hurts, and I do sometimes regret doing the break, but I know, if it was not going to work then, in the longer term, it would had been much worse. Probably the hardest part is that we live in the same town, so I have to see her and her parents (and new beau) every few weeks. Sometimes, I often think are relationships worth the end result. Cause life always screws something up. Had the same problem with the girl before. I got pissed off at something she said and did, so I suggested we see other people. She agreed to my shock. Then, two months later, we attempted to reunite on a date, and I screwed that up too. I think I am just a glutton for punishment sometimes.

[Gt.ooh]

Well, I think the lesson was learned there... Make contact and it's just all bad...

 

Break/break-up= same thing. For anyone out there getting the break treatment...pack your things as if it's a break-up, accept it, because chances are it's a soft way of saying I don't want to be with you. You'll look strong, and they'll see they've made a mistake.

[Fufu]

I strongly agree with you, break and break up are really the same thing.

 

When my ex broke up with me, I contacted him (big mistake), he said I don't understand him, my contacts to you doesn't help him at all. He asked for a BREAK. I didn't give him any.

[Gt.ooh]

Exactly what I did...she wanted a "break"...I kept contact essentially like I was still living with her...and the rest just goes downhill from there.

[Fufu]

Gt.ooh: haha oh well, but the good thing is we learnt break and break up are the same thing.

[Gt.ooh]

True...would have been nice to know 3 months ago... I would have gone about things much differently..

[Fufu]

haha what's past is past. We are going to be a better partner for our next relationship. We wouldn't have known about this if we never gone through it.

 

And I come to realise that, a true partner will forgive and accept their partner's flaws and mistakes. If they can't, their love to us aren't that true and strong.

[Gt.ooh]

True. I think with my ex...it's being young. I know what I want @ 23...she's 21 and just starting her schooling for her career..I wouldn't mind another chance about a year or 2..see where we're at. In the meantime: ME ME ME.

[SmileyGirl]

I agree with your post!... It's been about a year and a half no contact... while yes he still crosses my mind every day... it DOES get easier.

 

No Contact is truly the antibiotics needed in a break up to healthfully move on.