mgene15 Posted November 22, 2010 Posted November 22, 2010 It's been a few months since my ex girlfriend dumped me. an not a day goes by that i dont think about her. I have been NC for about a month now. I've been writing down everything i wanna say to her, all my thoughts about our relationship, she never had a guy break her heart, so she has never felt this pain i'm feeling. I'm thinking about sending her a text in a few weeks about how i feel about everything an i wanna get her to open her eyes. do u think this is bad? i waited a whole month of NC to let things die down. is it okay to send her a text with all my feelings?
skydiveaddict Posted November 22, 2010 Posted November 22, 2010 No do not contact her. There is a reason you got dumped. She has no more feelings for you. And she couldn't careless about your feelings towards her. Painful I know, but it's the truth.
alwayshoping Posted November 23, 2010 Posted November 23, 2010 Don't text her! She dumped you. Wait for her to contact you and apologise. Afterall she must have things to say to you too? If she truly loved you then she will make the effort, she already knows you love her etc etc and that's why she dumped you. So just wait and be strong. I'm 2+months NC and even though I would love to text her I know if she cared at all then she would be texting me. Afterall if we want to text them so badly why on earth do they not feel the same? The answer is a toughy. They either don't care or have moved on. Either way, we can't text them, it just strokes their ego and leaves you still feeling crappy. If they wanted us back we would know about it! Good luck matey and stay strong x
scienceguy Posted November 23, 2010 Posted November 23, 2010 I have a hard time believing that a text message could meaningfully convey the type of pain she has caused you. Setting that aside, I do not know what you hope to obtain from telling her about. Do you want her to feel guilty? Do you want her to be angry? Do you hope she will feel the pain and loss you feel? Hate to break it to you, but, as others have said, she doesn't care about you one way or another. You evoke as much of an emotional response in her as watching paint dry. She just doesn't care. People who break up will usually remove themselves from the actual relationship a long time before it occurs. When she ends it, she has already made her peace with it a long time ago. For what it is worth, any relationship--romantic or platonic--will demand that you allow yourself to be vulnerable to the other person. In fact for a relationship to deepen, you have to take bigger and bigger risks. Unfortunately, sometimes you can get hurt, badly. Hell, I live a fairly normal life now, but a part of me is still really hurt over a breakup that occurs years ago. I don't know if a week goes by where I do not think about it. There are no magical answers for these types of problems. Just try to go out there and live your life a fully as possible. You only get each day once, might as well make something of it. No reason to put your life on hold for something you cannot change.
Author mgene15 Posted November 23, 2010 Author Posted November 23, 2010 true true, well when we first broke up she would text me alot and wanna talk, but we just argued when we were fresh off the breakup and i said some mean things to her and she got mad and we haven't contacted in over a month. so it's not like she stopped altogether i kind of said some rude things that I didn't mean when we argued (it's normal). so a month has gone by and the emotions have of the post breakup argument have lessoned I can guarantee that
SimonSerenade Posted November 23, 2010 Posted November 23, 2010 You'll know when it's time to contact her, The dumpers always make it hard work, My advice would be to be her friend in time, Make sure your feeling okay with that though first but there's no other way to show her your changes if your not in contact with her, Just be nice and be strong mate, It's all you can do
Heatemyheart89 Posted November 24, 2010 Posted November 24, 2010 no dont contact her! The pain will ease my friend and you will feel a hell of a lot better. Dont set yourself up for another rejection please don't.
LuckyClover Posted November 24, 2010 Posted November 24, 2010 With this whole NC game... What if she's playing the same game and in her head she's telling herself the same thing, if he really loved me he would have texted by now, etc.. etc.. ?
Gt.ooh Posted November 24, 2010 Posted November 24, 2010 Thats where NC comes in...He's doing good..the second he opens communication again, she has complete control. Yea she may be feeling the same thing, but in all reality...she has to be the one to initiate contact in order for it to be meaningful.. Don't contact her...trust me. I've done it more than my fair share, and it's just not cool...I'll just leave it at that.
Author mgene15 Posted November 24, 2010 Author Posted November 24, 2010 yea I'm not going two, that was a cppl days ago as i was pining, and I had one of those "what if i just contact her instances" but since reading on here alot and posting, I took your word, and It really just is all bad if u contact ... still trying cope, especially during the holidays. :/ but i'm not breaking NC ive made it a month and some change now
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