Cracker Jack Posted November 22, 2010 Posted November 22, 2010 Sorry to hear it, I can imagine it's very disappointing. Cancelling a date because you want to see a movie with mates is just not on. If he isn't treating you as important from the start, that will be the way it goes on. Forget him, there will be others who can't wait to avoid the movie to be with you. You didn't read her latest post, did ya?
Author OceanGirl Posted November 22, 2010 Author Posted November 22, 2010 You are being much too sensitive to rejection. He didn't even reject you, and getting reject isn't the end of the world. Just view this as having a fun time with a guy. Unless he says "I don't like you" assume he DOES like you . And as long as it's still fun, operate from things are going well. Keep to those rules you'll be fine. No more looking for red flags, warnings, or whatever. You did that in the past, didn't work. No blaming other people. This was your fault, and you played games as a protection mechanism. No other reason. He wasn't "playing games". This is interesting. I generally operate from "he doesn't like me and things are not going well" perspective
Author OceanGirl Posted November 22, 2010 Author Posted November 22, 2010 And Star, just because I have my own emotional issues, it doesn't mean that I can't meet a guy who is a d^ck and doesn't treat me well.
Mad Max Posted November 22, 2010 Posted November 22, 2010 And Star, just because I have my own emotional issues, it doesn't mean that I can't meet a guy who is a d^ck and doesn't treat me well. That has absolutely nothing to do with this thread. This guy has done nothing that would consider him to be a dick.
dispatch3d Posted November 22, 2010 Posted November 22, 2010 This is interesting. I generally operate from "he doesn't like me and things are not going well" perspective try a new perspective. no more "x guy isn't y so bla" all problems should be "I was x so y happened and I need to do z". Other people's actions are just a reflection of their own personal problems, not your own. mad max is like a pro troll... always offends me haha
PhillyDude Posted November 22, 2010 Posted November 22, 2010 I didn't do the same to him as I was genuinly sick. If he said that he was sick, I might have been more leniant. His excuse is just beyond silly and flaky. Thanks for all your input. I have made the final decision not to see him again, no matter what he deos from this point on. Therefore, I won't be returning to this thread. So his excuse wasn't as good as yours-lol
Mad Max Posted November 22, 2010 Posted November 22, 2010 mad max is like a pro troll... always offends me haha ??????????
Author OceanGirl Posted November 22, 2010 Author Posted November 22, 2010 try a new perspective. no more "x guy isn't y so bla" all problems should be "I was x so y happened and I need to do z". Other people's actions are just a reflection of their own personal problems, not your own. mad max is like a pro troll... always offends me haha Thanks - I will try that. As it happens my boss told us today that we can all go home early (3pm) as the aftornoon meeting has been canceled. My date is at 6pm, so I plan to hit the gym now and burn some nervous energy then re-do my hair and make-up and change into something nicer. I will try to chill with a glass of wine or 2...
Art_Critic Posted November 22, 2010 Posted November 22, 2010 Let's see.. movie night with my buds.. or....a nice dinner date with a hot chick... Sorry buds.. you are gonna have to watch that movie without me.. Truth is OG.. he is lying like a rug... He has a date with another girl and put you on back burner.. Good for you for bailing.. that guy is an ass..
BobSacamento Posted November 22, 2010 Posted November 22, 2010 He made a rookie mistake. He took the situation, that he designed mind you, and put it on to you to be the bad guy. Now if he has any sense when you ask him, and I'm 99% sure you probably will, he better have a decent answer to the question; "So were you able to reschedule with your mates?"
PhillyDude Posted November 22, 2010 Posted November 22, 2010 Let's see.. movie night with my buds.. or....a nice dinner date with a hot chick... Sorry buds.. you are gonna have to watch that movie without me.. Truth is OG.. he is lying like a rug... He has a date with another girl and put you on back burner.. Good for you for bailing.. that guy is an ass.. I would hope he is lying because watching a movie with a bunch of guys sounds extra gay-lol
FryFish Posted November 22, 2010 Posted November 22, 2010 Wow... I just dropped a girl just like OG. Luckily it was for an AWESOME girl that was totally cool with me having to reschedule our FIRST date. I cant handle crazy chicks that dont want to play fair. OG, you are straight out lying to this guy already... If there are any giant red flags up in the air you are the one waving them.
sb129 Posted November 22, 2010 Posted November 22, 2010 I will try to chill with a glass of wine or 2... ONE OG-if you have a glass of wine that soon after going to the gym without eating it will go straight to your head. You don't want to blow out by being too drunk!
Author OceanGirl Posted November 22, 2010 Author Posted November 22, 2010 Let's see.. movie night with my buds.. or....a nice dinner date with a hot chick... Sorry buds.. you are gonna have to watch that movie without me.. Truth is OG.. he is lying like a rug... He has a date with another girl and put you on back burner.. Good for you for bailing.. that guy is an ass.. A/C that was EXACTLY my first thought too. Since he has since "re-scheduled" his other engagements and the date with me is on, perhaps he is putting the other chick on the back burner? OR we are both on the back burner but she was more accommodating about re-scheduling. I have been thinking about this for the last 2 hours (while doing other stuff, and it just looks more and more fishy...). Luckily, this makes me less nervous about tonight because I don't feel like this guy is going to pan out into anything,
Star Gazer Posted November 22, 2010 Posted November 22, 2010 And Star, just because I have my own emotional issues, it doesn't mean that I can't meet a guy who is a d^ck and doesn't treat me well. There hasn't been one single ounce or shred of him being a dick to you. It's literally all in your head. The proof? If you really believed he'd been a dick, you wouldn't have agreed to go out with him tonight.
threebyfate Posted November 22, 2010 Posted November 22, 2010 It's possible that's the case but it also might not be the case. You've committed to going on the date. Let's see how it goes. So, how many more hours OG? Can't tell since we're in completely different time zones.
Star Gazer Posted November 22, 2010 Posted November 22, 2010 Thanks - I will try that. As it happens my boss told us today that we can all go home early (3pm) as the aftornoon meeting has been canceled. My date is at 6pm, so I plan to hit the gym now and burn some nervous energy then re-do my hair and make-up and change into something nicer. I will try to chill with a glass of wine or 2... You've actually left work early before to get ready for a first and second date. Are you sure that's not what you're doing now??
Author OceanGirl Posted November 22, 2010 Author Posted November 22, 2010 The plan for tonight is to ask him some questions like: did you manage to re-schedule with your mates? and so what movie were you guys planning on seeing? All while looking him straight in the eye. I mean if he is really lying about this (and he most likely is) I am pretty much done with him. I am not even sure if I have a problem with him multi-dating - more like if he already has a girl that is a clear favorite...AND the straight out lying. I did get untrustworthy/unreliable vibe from him on date 1, before any of this went down.
Author OceanGirl Posted November 22, 2010 Author Posted November 22, 2010 You've actually left work early before to get ready for a first and second date. Are you sure that's not what you're doing now?? Nah not at all. I got ready and had change of clothes this morning, I wasn't planning on coming home.,
U1987 Posted November 22, 2010 Posted November 22, 2010 The plan for tonight is to ask him some questions like: did you manage to re-schedule with your mates? and so what movie were you guys planning on seeing? All while looking him straight in the eye. I mean if he is really lying about this (and he most likely is) I am pretty much done with him. I am not even sure if I have a problem with him multi-dating - more like if he already has a girl that is a clear favorite...AND the straight out lying. I did get untrustworthy/unreliable vibe from him on date 1, before any of this went down. Oceangirl, have you gotten any of my messages? I've sent PM's asking to respond if it works, but you haven't so I assume it's not working. The PM system seems really buggy and it took me a few tries just to send my first.
Author OceanGirl Posted November 22, 2010 Author Posted November 22, 2010 It's possible that's the case but it also might not be the case. You've committed to going on the date. Let's see how it goes. So, how many more hours OG? Can't tell since we're in completely different time zones. 30 minutes TBF will update later.....
Star Gazer Posted November 22, 2010 Posted November 22, 2010 It's possible that's the case but it also might not be the case. You've committed to going on the date. Let's see how it goes. Seriously, anything is possible. You're not married to the guy, or even in a relationship yet. C'mon. Give the guy a REAL chance, OG. Don't be doomsday negative Nancy about it. You like him. He likes you. Go and enjoy yourself. Enjoy getting to know him better.
Star Gazer Posted November 22, 2010 Posted November 22, 2010 ...AND the straight out lying. I did get untrustworthy/unreliable vibe from him on date 1, before any of this went down. You're going to interrogate him?? YOU straight out lied, too. 100%. Remember?? You simply cannot hold him to a higher standard than you hold to yourself. Can you imagine if he looks YOU in the eye, and says, "So, where is your work function tomorrow? What's it for?" I fully expect that to be part of the conversation. I'd ask you that, just to show interest in what you do for a living. How are you going to answer that?? Be prepared to lie to him...AGAIN.
Mad Max Posted November 22, 2010 Posted November 22, 2010 Seriously OG, you're digging yourself deeper and deeper into a hole that you're not going to be able to get yourself out of.
threebyfate Posted November 22, 2010 Posted November 22, 2010 30 minutes TBF will update later.....Oh do, I'm all eyes, if not tonight, then tomorrow morning. It's 10:20 p.m. my time Sunday night so by the time you get back, it will probably be the wee hours of the morning for me. Have fun! Seriously, anything is possible. You're not married to the guy, or even in a relationship yet. C'mon. Give the guy a REAL chance, OG. Don't be doomsday negative Nancy about it. You like him. He likes you. Go and enjoy yourself. Enjoy getting to know him better.Yup, see how it goes.
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