threebyfate Posted November 22, 2010 Posted November 22, 2010 Okay. He's showing some effort now! Accept and go.
Star Gazer Posted November 22, 2010 Posted November 22, 2010 I still stand by this. You stand by what? MY post??
Star Gazer Posted November 22, 2010 Posted November 22, 2010 I told him that I am in the middle of sopmething and will call him back. Should I go??? Why couldn't you just say yes??! More games from his perspective! GO! And enjoy yourself! Dude likes you!
Author OceanGirl Posted November 22, 2010 Author Posted November 22, 2010 OK, texted him: Aww I appreciate it. I am really looking forward to seeing you tonight
carhill Posted November 22, 2010 Posted November 22, 2010 Don't let good hair conditioning go to waste
Author OceanGirl Posted November 22, 2010 Author Posted November 22, 2010 I am happy with how I handled this. I wasn't a doormat and didn't let him muck me around. This will make him think twice about any flaking or re-scheduling in the future.
Mad Max Posted November 22, 2010 Posted November 22, 2010 I am happy with how I handled this. I wasn't a doormat and didn't let him muck me around. This will make him think twice about any flaking or re-scheduling in the future. I don't know why you think you're teaching him a lesson. He played no more games than you did.
carhill Posted November 22, 2010 Posted November 22, 2010 OG, patrolling and enforcing boundaries is a positive thing; a healthy thing. It's not a 'I'll teach him a lesson' thing. It's a 'I'm doing what's healthy for me' thing. How you perceive these dynamics is a choice. Enjoy the date
sweetjasmine Posted November 22, 2010 Posted November 22, 2010 I am happy with how I handled this. I wasn't a doormat and didn't let him muck me around. This will make him think twice about any flaking or re-scheduling in the future. OG, I don't understand what you mean by this. Why would he think twice about re-scheduling next time? As far as he knows, you were being honest when you said you had a work function to go to and when you said you were in the middle of something. He probably doesn't know what was going on in your head. He doesn't know you just played another game and tested him, so how have you taught him a lesson? This guy sounds genuinely interested. I hope you have a really good time with him and relax a bit. Enjoy yourself.
Star Gazer Posted November 22, 2010 Posted November 22, 2010 I don't know why you think you're teaching him a lesson. He played no more games than you did. Totally agree. I don't know what you think he's learned anything here, other than he needs to bend his schedule go fit yours (even though you weren't honest about it).
sb129 Posted November 22, 2010 Posted November 22, 2010 This guy sounds genuinely interested. I hope you have a really good time with him and relax a bit. Enjoy yourself. I second this- the fact that he is making the effort to reschedule his friends is very positive. GO. And come back and tell us about it.
Author OceanGirl Posted November 22, 2010 Author Posted November 22, 2010 lol with all this build up and drama, the second date may quite possibly suck :S
Ariadne Posted November 22, 2010 Posted November 22, 2010 Have fun! This will make him think twice about any flaking or re-scheduling in the future.
Mad Max Posted November 22, 2010 Posted November 22, 2010 lol with all this build up and drama, the second date may quite possibly suck :S With that attitude, it will.
Author OceanGirl Posted November 22, 2010 Author Posted November 22, 2010 As for what everyone else said, I do admit to playing some games (making up work function). I do also strongly feel that he is playing some games too - not sure why but he is playing them.
Mad Max Posted November 22, 2010 Posted November 22, 2010 As for what everyone else said, I do admit to playing some games (making up work function). I do also strongly feel that he is playing some games too - not sure why but he is playing them. Maybe it's because you did the exact same thing and he senses it.
threebyfate Posted November 22, 2010 Posted November 22, 2010 As for what everyone else said, I do admit to playing some games (making up work function). I do also strongly feel that he is playing some games too - not sure why but he is playing them.I agree he's playing games but let's see if he's done playing and is now ready and willing to show interest without the nonsense. Truthfully, I would be happy to have been wrong about him if he turns out to be someone worthwhile for a relationship. Best of luck tonight. Try to relax and see where things go from here. If it appears to you that he's starting the game playing again, then post and everyone will give their opinion about whether or not this appears true to them.
Author OceanGirl Posted November 22, 2010 Author Posted November 22, 2010 Have fun OG! Thanks I will have to come back to you for a reality check when I detect new flags.
Star Gazer Posted November 22, 2010 Posted November 22, 2010 I agree he's playing games but let's see if he's done playing and is now ready and willing to show interest without the nonsense. When is OG going to be "done playing games" and "willing to show interest without the nonsense"??? Why is it okay to make him play by rules she's not willing to follow herself??
threebyfate Posted November 22, 2010 Posted November 22, 2010 When is OG going to be "done playing games" and "willing to show interest without the nonsense"??? Why is it okay to make him play by rules she's not willing to follow herself??OG has her own demons to battle. She doesn't need me to express them to her. She knows and has admitted so. And his original two day lag really sucked so that put her on the alert. It would also have put me on alert too especially with his lame excuse. That's my honest opinion SG. I know you don't share it but I'm going to express it, as you will express yours. And that's A-okay.
Star Gazer Posted November 22, 2010 Posted November 22, 2010 I just think she could really benefit from your help in dealing with her own demons, and seeing how her behavior might be interpreted by the men she dates, rather than putting all the "responsibility" on the dude in question...whomever it is. Dating is a two way street, at least I think so. Ya know?
musemaj11 Posted November 22, 2010 Posted November 22, 2010 (edited) If a girl did this to me, I would bail as well. Unless she at least invited me to hang out with her friends. But then again he decided in the end to reschedule his friends. He seems like a good guy. Edited November 22, 2010 by musemaj11
spiderowl Posted November 22, 2010 Posted November 22, 2010 Sorry to hear it, I can imagine it's very disappointing. Cancelling a date because you want to see a movie with mates is just not on. If he isn't treating you as important from the start, that will be the way it goes on. Forget him, there will be others who can't wait to avoid the movie to be with you.
dispatch3d Posted November 22, 2010 Posted November 22, 2010 You are being much too sensitive to rejection. He didn't even reject you, and getting reject isn't the end of the world. Just view this as having a fun time with a guy. Unless he says "I don't like you" assume he DOES like you . And as long as it's still fun, operate from things are going well. Keep to those rules you'll be fine. No more looking for red flags, warnings, or whatever. You did that in the past, didn't work. No blaming other people. This was your fault, and you played games as a protection mechanism. No other reason. He wasn't "playing games".
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