zig Posted November 21, 2010 Posted November 21, 2010 Maybe some of you have been following my threads. Upshot is: dated a girl for 1 month. I liked her, she liked me (so she said), but she never made the time to go on dates, but we talked on the phone a lot. I bailed. End of story. So I took a long walk tonight and did some thinking. The truth is, I don't really know if I like this girl or not. I think it's the 'want what you can't have' syndrome. You can't know if you love someone after a month but I do see some great qualities in her (and some not so good). So I'm willing to let go of a romantic relationship in exchange for a friendship. I might be kidding myself on this... my emotions are a little mixed up right now but I'm just being as honest as I can right now that I do think I could befriend her and leave it at that. I view her as a special person and I care about her... romance or not. I'm thinking about calling her and telling her that I understand she's not into me for a relationship but that doesn't mean I'm willing to throw away a friendship. Heck, we never even kissed! So it's not like it should be a big deal right? I think I'll be able to move on and drop my feelings (only giving it an honest try will tell). So girls, what do you think about this and how will she respond? Any advice on how to go about this? Guys, have you had any success moving on and staying friends?
welikeincrowds Posted November 22, 2010 Posted November 22, 2010 If she called you, would you experience the same fondness you would when any of your friends called? Could you talk to her about her dates with other men? As for actually getting that work, that's simple. "I really enjoyed the time we spent together, and I want it to continue, even if not in the hopes of something romantic. You're great, really." I'm actually paraphrasing a text I received, and it worked on me. Life is so much easier, zig, when you just say what you want to the people you want it from and see how they react. I'm not being condescending with that. It's seriously amazing how simple that is; who knows why the world is so ****ing preoccupied with trying to get you not to behave that way.
Author zig Posted November 22, 2010 Author Posted November 22, 2010 If she called you, would you experience the same fondness you would when any of your friends called? Could you talk to her about her dates with other men? As for actually getting that work, that's simple. "I really enjoyed the time we spent together, and I want it to continue, even if not in the hopes of something romantic. You're great, really." I'm actually paraphrasing a text I received, and it worked on me. Life is so much easier, zig, when you just say what you want to the people you want it from and see how they react. I'm not being condescending with that. It's seriously amazing how simple that is; who knows why the world is so ****ing preoccupied with trying to get you not to behave that way. Thanks Friend, Yes I actually do think I could talk to her about dates with other men and so forth. I think she's dating guys as it is now. There is only one way to find out if I can handle this.....and that is to give it a try. And you're right about just talking to people and telling them what you want. I'm making this way too complicated. If we are truly friend material then we should be able to talk as friends. That's what we have been doing for the past month. Truth is I flaked on her because I was too caught up in finding romance. If it's not there, then nothing I can do to change that.
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