I can't believe what happened!!

[LK30]

Hi all

 

I have been seeing a girl for a couple of months after numerous failed relationships, and I am trying so hard to fancy her as she's such a lovely girl but I don't find her that attractive. As a result I've been holding back with my affection, and last night she confronted me about it head on.

 

I tried to explain my lack of confidence due to past failed relationships, and my fear of going through rejection, as well as a part of me which feels 'unfulfilled' as I don't really know what I want from life. I think this girl has made me realise I'm a bit messed up, although she was really nice about it and we agreed to have some 'timeout.'

 

As she was leaving my house last night (in awakward circumstances) she rang me and said she couldn't get her car started. I went to have a look but battery was dead. Then she started texting her ex! (talk about breaking the NC rule!) and he ended up coming out and he got it started. Obviously I was relieved as one of the issues she had was me not wanting her to stay over, and if the car wasn't sorted then she would've had to stay as it was late at night.

 

I wasn't that jealous as I don't have strong feelings for her, but I expect the ex has scored some 'hero' points here. I told her perhaps it's fate and her and her ex should get back together but she tells me that relationship is as flat as her car battery was.

 

I do feel awful as she was really upset, and in a way I don't want to lose her as she'd be so good for me, but I am so messed up as all my r'ships seem to go wrong and I don't know what's wrong with me. I'm very sad

[Eternity001]

I say never die wondering, if you don't give it a proper go you may regret it. "What if's" aren't fun but if it's that hindering to you then perhaps take all the time you need to feel comfortable, alone.

 

Having the ex in the picture is a bit of an issue though, if she says she's over that situation then I guess you have to take her word for it though.

[e.clipse]

I say never die wondering, if you don't give it a proper go you may regret it.

 

it seems to me that he already has given it a proper go. he is just not attracted to her and, ultimately, just not really interested in her. just because someone is a good person and we think that they would be good for us, does not mean that we should date them, if we don't really have feelings towards them. that is akin to settling for someone for comfort and safety due to fear of being alone.

 

sometimes, regardless of how good a person may be, they are just not intended for us. if your feelings are not there, i think you should be honest and stop seeing her. your passive-aggressive actions are hurting her, and she does not deserve it. it is fine if you are not into her, but it is not fine to hurt her or fake complete interest.

 

there will be another. one who really matters to you.

[Shadowburn]

Hi all

 

I have been seeing a girl for a couple of months after numerous failed relationships, and I am trying so hard to fancy her as she's such a lovely girl but I don't find her that attractive. As a result I've been holding back with my affection, and last night she confronted me about it head on.

 

I tried to explain my lack of confidence due to past failed relationships, and my fear of going through rejection, as well as a part of me which feels 'unfulfilled' as I don't really know what I want from life. I think this girl has made me realise I'm a bit messed up, although she was really nice about it and we agreed to have some 'timeout.'

 

As she was leaving my house last night (in awakward circumstances) she rang me and said she couldn't get her car started. I went to have a look but battery was dead. Then she started texting her ex! (talk about breaking the NC rule!) and he ended up coming out and he got it started. Obviously I was relieved as one of the issues she had was me not wanting her to stay over, and if the car wasn't sorted then she would've had to stay as it was late at night.

 

I wasn't that jealous as I don't have strong feelings for her, but I expect the ex has scored some 'hero' points here. I told her perhaps it's fate and her and her ex should get back together but she tells me that relationship is as flat as her car battery was.

 

I do feel awful as she was really upset, and in a way I don't want to lose her as she'd be so good for me, but I am so messed up as all my r'ships seem to go wrong and I don't know what's wrong with me. I'm very sad

 

There is nothing wrong with you, and please stop fluffing up BS about your failed past relationships as this is completely irrelevant here. You're not attracted to her, and this is it. Please end it as she is wasting her time with you. She is lovely and good to you and therefore you don't want to lose her, but please don't be selfish and please let her go, so she can meet someone who would think she is lovely and good AND attractive.

[hoping2heal]

Hi all

 

I have been seeing a girl for a couple of months after numerous failed relationships, and I am trying so hard to fancy her as she's such a lovely girl but I don't find her that attractive. As a result I've been holding back with my affection, and last night she confronted me about it head on.

 

I tried to explain my lack of confidence due to past failed relationships, and my fear of going through rejection, as well as a part of me which feels 'unfulfilled' as I don't really know what I want from life. I think this girl has made me realise I'm a bit messed up, although she was really nice about it and we agreed to have some 'timeout.'

 

As she was leaving my house last night (in awakward circumstances) she rang me and said she couldn't get her car started. I went to have a look but battery was dead. Then she started texting her ex! (talk about breaking the NC rule!) and he ended up coming out and he got it started. Obviously I was relieved as one of the issues she had was me not wanting her to stay over, and if the car wasn't sorted then she would've had to stay as it was late at night.

 

I wasn't that jealous as I don't have strong feelings for her, but I expect the ex has scored some 'hero' points here. I told her perhaps it's fate and her and her ex should get back together but she tells me that relationship is as flat as her car battery was.

 

I do feel awful as she was really upset, and in a way I don't want to lose her as she'd be so good for me, but I am so messed up as all my r'ships seem to go wrong and I don't know what's wrong with me. I'm very sad

 

Are you gay? I'm not picking on you and trying to be funny. I'm serious. Not because you think she is not attractive, but because it seems like you tried to force yourself to like a girl. You think she is a nice person, you just are not attracted. It just is not very often heard that a man is trying to date some girl he is not attracted too.

[LK30]

Gosh I took a bit of a pounding there! And no, I'm not gay! I just thought I was ready for a r'ship and as time's gone by I've realised I'm not that into her. I'm just not shallow in trying to find supermodels like some people, and thought I could grow to feel an attraction as I thought it's not always love at first sight, but the nicest girl of all and the one I'm least attracted to!!

[hoping2heal]

Gosh I took a bit of a pounding there! And no, I'm not gay! I just thought I was ready for a r'ship and as time's gone by I've realised I'm not that into her. I'm just not shallow in trying to find supermodels like some people, and thought I could grow to feel an attraction as I thought it's not always love at first sight, but the nicest girl of all and the one I'm least attracted to!!

 

Ah okay Well, good for you for trying to make an earnest effort. We are all attracted to different things and that means anything from average to adonis. It is just as important you pick someone you feel an attraction to as someone who has a substansial soul. Let the girl go, she needs to be with someone attracted to her and you need someone you are attracted to.

[Heatemyheart89]

The first thing I thoughy when reading this was 'poor girl'. Its not fair to keep seeing her its a waste of time for both of you