urgh Posted November 21, 2010 Posted November 21, 2010 So... Ive been with this guy for 7months going on 8... and everything has been great.... we got on so good i really fell 4 him good friend/lovers... But today we was talking and i mentioned his baby mother and the 5times a day every day calls he gets or calls her and asked why the need 2 talk so much and if your child is in school at the time just out of curiousity.... He randomly smashed my phone against the wall and grabbed me by my hair and was pulling voilently back n forth around the room by my hair and pulled to the ground shouting and calling me a slag and saying i dont know him and i think im the hardest...he wanted to hit me and i think he went to but stop himself i was on the ground crying scared and shocked at what had happened as ive never seen him this way before i was afraid after it happen i couldnt move and just lay on the ground unable to stop myself from crying!!! he was ranting ''look now see what you have done''.... like its my fault.... then told me 2 get off the floor and continued ''i never wanted to do this'' after awhile he tried to hug me and i felt physically sick and didnt want him to touch me or be around me i told him to leave and he kept apoligising and saying am i sure i want him 2 leave i repeatedly said yes but he kept saying i dont want to leave you like this im so sorry!! after 4th time he went and i was so heartbroken at what he has done to me i cant actually believe it ... cant believe he would do this to me i kno he didnt hit me but wow.... he obviously wanted too.. now his txing tellin me he loves me and he is so sorry i dont deserve that and wants a second chance .... my head saying run million miles away from him but my heart telling me another i am really devasted over this because he has been a wonderful friend and partner and is or has been so kind caring and loving up until today Now i feel like i dont even kno him and his a complete stranger i kno this sounds so pathetic .... But i really do love him and i no im a fool if i take him back after this it will be setting myself up ... he said he would never hurt me and this would never happen again and i doubt thats true ... but in my heart i want to believe him and take him back i just feel like its all been a bad dream and i wana wake up n go bk 2 that happy fun loving relationship we once had .... is that even possible?? i really need a good talking to any advice for me...
xpaperxcutx Posted November 21, 2010 Posted November 21, 2010 When a man either hits you or spit on you, or degrade you to the point where your self-esteem is shot, you have to really wonder why you want to be with them. I'm sorry that this happened to you. You are right that it's not your fault but if you go back to him and he does hit you again, then you'll have nobody to blame but yourself.
Vince1980 Posted November 21, 2010 Posted November 21, 2010 leave him...only scum hits a woman. he cant exactly take it back. leave him
Hhhh Posted November 21, 2010 Posted November 21, 2010 I'm a pretty aggressive person and hold anger but I know my limits I would never hit a women and when I get angry I just stay quiet because if you really care you just wouldn't do that
denise_xo Posted November 21, 2010 Posted November 21, 2010 Run. Real fast. Times x 1000. There's no way in hell you should go back to that guy. There are lots of good men out there who will treat you with love and respect.
Author urgh Posted November 21, 2010 Author Posted November 21, 2010 True i hear that paper cut .... i guess its hard as we spend mojority of our time together... its really upsetting that it has come to this... just feel so heart broken and still in floods of tears ... urgh! i hate to hear of these things and girls saying they stayed because they love the man.... although i have got rid of him... i feel very much like one of those girls... i obviously knew the answer to all of this but just felt the need to post and try get rid of this storm cloud above my head... Now for persistance strength .... and not giving into emotional blackmail.... the joy!! Thanks for the replys
Citizen Erased Posted November 21, 2010 Posted November 21, 2010 Sure, go back to him and be happy. Until he punches you in the face. Or breaks a rib. Or twists your arm till it snaps. Then be told by him how he loves you and won't do it again. And he won't. Until he has your love and trust again and then strangles you or beats you beyond almost recognition. But it'll always be your fault cos you make him so mad. Until he comes slithering back begging for your forgiveness. Then it was all him and he's getting help. Etc etc etc if you want that life with a piece of scum, sure.
denise_xo Posted November 21, 2010 Posted November 21, 2010 True i hear that paper cut .... i guess its hard as we spend mojority of our time together... its really upsetting that it has come to this... just feel so heart broken and still in floods of tears ... urgh! i hate to hear of these things and girls saying they stayed because they love the man.... although i have got rid of him... i feel very much like one of those girls... i obviously knew the answer to all of this but just felt the need to post and try get rid of this storm cloud above my head... Now for persistance strength .... and not giving into emotional blackmail.... the joy!! Thanks for the replys Of course it's heart breaking - but at least you have the mind and strength to leave. Some women don't and the result is what CE described. Block his number on your phone and delete from FB etc - just get this scum out of your life.
Author urgh Posted November 21, 2010 Author Posted November 21, 2010 @ Hhhh ..... that what this guy has said also... he trys to hold his anger down but he just flipped today and dont know why.... but what u jus said really hit the nail on the head if u care / love someone you wouldnt/couldnt do that .... in my eyes i would never want to harm/hurt the person i love in any way ...
Author urgh Posted November 21, 2010 Author Posted November 21, 2010 Sure, go back to him and be happy. Until he punches you in the face. Or breaks a rib. Or twists your arm till it snaps. Then be told by him how he loves you and won't do it again. And he won't. Until he has your love and trust again and then strangles you or beats you beyond almost recognition. But it'll always be your fault cos you make him so mad. Until he comes slithering back begging for your forgiveness. Then it was all him and he's getting help. Etc etc etc if you want that life with a piece of scum, sure. definatley NOT a life or path i want to go down... and was thinking along those lines... he may not have hit me this time but if i allowed him back in my life who knows what could happen... i dread to even think....
xpaperxcutx Posted November 21, 2010 Posted November 21, 2010 True i hear that paper cut .... i guess its hard as we spend mojority of our time together... its really upsetting that it has come to this... just feel so heart broken and still in floods of tears ... urgh! i hate to hear of these things and girls saying they stayed because they love the man.... although i have got rid of him... i feel very much like one of those girls... i obviously knew the answer to all of this but just felt the need to post and try get rid of this storm cloud above my head... Now for persistance strength .... and not giving into emotional blackmail.... the joy!! Thanks for the replys I personally don't think those girls love their men. It's just that when a person becomes a victim, especially to abuse, they become ashamed of themselves. They start internalizing the problem because more than half the time, they start believing whatever their OS tells them- that it's their fault. Thus, it becomes harder to walk away. It really does become a cycle.
hART Posted November 21, 2010 Posted November 21, 2010 First thing is to do is report this to the cops if you ever have time away from this guy. Give them time and date and a description of the incident, because if he does it again you have proof in a my word against yours situation. I was in an abusive relationship, he will not change. Once someone is this violent and acts on it there is a high likelihood he will strike again. This horrible violent act against you was not your fault and you need to find a way out, without being physically harmed again. Go seek counseling and suggest he do the same. My ex started much smaller (tap on the leg here or there), but eventually tried to kill me randomly out of the blue (after ten years, this may not escalate to that). Be strong!
newdawn Posted November 21, 2010 Posted November 21, 2010 I am so sorry you are going through this. Get some support for yourself from others who have training in abusive relationships. He is an abuser. He is dangerous. You are in danger if you stay with him. They do not change, the behavior only escalates next time. Please choose to get help to leave.
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