HeartOnSleeve Posted November 21, 2010 Posted November 21, 2010 I dated this guy for almost 2 months. We had so much in common and things seemed perfect. Then he tells me that he has trust issues etc. and is struggeling with letting me in. Then basically after no contact for a few days we run into each other and he seems shocked that I was a little akward etc. So a few days later he calls me and I asked him to be honest about his feelings and he said that he wasn't really that into it and it may be becuase he is freaked out. I tell him that I am thankful that he is honest as I deserve more. I've been upset about it becuase the situation was just spot on...same views on life, love, family etc. We had a blast together. But he wants the games and the chase. He asks if we can be friends, ok whatever sure. So we have no contact for a week and randomly last night he texts me. "Hope all is good with you!" . That is it! My questions is....do I respond? or just let it be? I would welcome the chance to open communication, but at the same time I have my guard up. I have a really strong pull to him. And I just not sure how to react to contact from him.
ocatherine Posted November 21, 2010 Posted November 21, 2010 Gosh, I wanna comment but feel that I may come across as cruel or inconsiderate, especially because of the reasons I'm here... but you should absolutely respond! Besides the fact that you only dated for two months and despite the fact that you fell harder and/or faster than what is considered normal or healthy, you should be grateful that your still on his mind if your still interested in him! Regardless, I will offer some advice and that is you should play it casual... my response would be something along the lines of "Absolutely. Thanks so for asking!"... and leave it alone.
Author HeartOnSleeve Posted November 21, 2010 Author Posted November 21, 2010 Sorry for your situation OC! I appreciate you comments. I think the contact in general just messed with my head! I mean you wait around for the contact that never seems to come and then out of the blue there it is. I just didn't know what to do with it.
ocatherine Posted November 21, 2010 Posted November 21, 2010 I get it... but I also think that you need to put your heart where it belongs (aka HeartonSleeve) and stop focusing on someone that may not have the same feelings that your having right now. That's not to say that they may not have them 6-8 months from now, if everything goes well... but either way the fact that your hesitant in responding sends bad vibes and would be enough to scare ME away! Either way, whatever you decide to send back in response... I implore you not to come across as someone that has been waiting to hear back from them and is upset that it took them so long. Because if you do, expect not to hear back from them.
Scott Clifford Posted November 21, 2010 Posted November 21, 2010 I'd be honest but careful. Tell him its nice to hear from him but that you are doing oke.
Trovador Posted November 22, 2010 Posted November 22, 2010 Don't think too much of his contact... most times the ex misses us but it's different than the way we miss them... in any case, it is better to keep it brief and casual... But, with all I know now, I wouldn't have responded all the times my ex contacted me, you see, nothing good come out of that...
twinrexes Posted November 22, 2010 Posted November 22, 2010 My take on this is that he's afraid of commitment (he did admit to trust issues, right?) and that things went so well between you that it scared him. Some people run away when things get too good because they're just waiting for the other shoe to drop. Sooner or later, they figure, you're going to hurt them. Better to bail out than build up to a big rejection/heartbreak. I behaved that way for about 20 years (I'm now married and a mommy, thankfully). So you might consider letting this guy know that you realize he has trust issues and even thought you two had a great time together you understand his reasons for wanting space. Tell him you're fine with him taking all the space he needs and you're happy to hear from him and hope he's doing well. And that you're sorry it didn't work out. That might just get him thinking about whether he should dump someone who is so understanding and who "gets him" like you do! Just realize that if things do turn around, and he tries to come back, that this won't be the last time he pulls away from you. You may be in for the push-pull kind dance for a long time before he's able to trust. Are you game?
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