Tincup Posted November 21, 2010 Posted November 21, 2010 Ok for starters I have know this lady for several years. I have been divorced for about 4 years, and just got out of about a two year relationship that was pretty toxic. Between my divorce and the relationship, I spent some time with this lady. We had dinner, and she invited me to the movies with her and her daughter. We got along really well but I was afraid of my own shadow coming off the divorce. Last year (during one of the 10x my xgf broke up with me) I sent her an email and told her that I had been attracted to her during the time we spent time together earlier. I was just thanking her for treating me with respect during a time where I was vulnerable. I don't think she knew I was attracted to her. Fast forward to now. This lady seems to know when I am available (don't know how). But I sent her an email to see what was new in her life and to see if she would like to get together for coffee and catch up on each other lives. After a couple of emails back and forth I get this one. She wants to get together to tell me about a new business that she is starting. She wants my professional opinion and advice. She ends the email with this when she was talking about meeting me: "realize you would be stuck spending time with me " Do you think this is just a joke because she is asking for help, or do you think she is interested in me?
Author Tincup Posted November 22, 2010 Author Posted November 22, 2010 Ok after reading my post from earlier I know how silly it is to ask someone what is meant by a I'm just coming out of a toxic relationship with a person who I had to interpret every single letter in a text, so I guess I'm just trying to apply the same thing here..Its just a stinking winky face for god's sake.
spiderowl Posted November 22, 2010 Posted November 22, 2010 I can see why you are confused by her response. From what you've said, you just asked if she'd like a coffee and to meet and catch up. If she was interested in you, this would have been a chance to ... just agree to meet up over a coffee. But, instead, she's thrown in this business thing and wanting 'professional advice'. It almost sounds as if she's trying to keep it on a professional rather than personal footing. But ... even more confusing ... she then mentioned rather shyly that you would be putting up with her, which does sound a little more personal and revealing on her part. It suggests she's not entirely confident about herself and how you feel about her. In this situation, I think all you can do is to reassure her that you like her and want her company. If you are interested in her as more than a friend, then somehow you need to communicate this and make sure this meeting is seen as a social event and not a business one. The business thing might be genuine, something she is starting and that she'd like you ask you about as you are a valued friend and confidante. I suppose it's just possible she didn't know what a spanner she was throwing into the works there and is innocently thinking you might be just interested in her as a friend. What was your previous connection? Was it purely businesslike? I'd suggest contacting her and reassuring her that you'd like to talk about whatever's going on for her and that you really enjoy her company. Then just see how the meeting goes. Try and get her to talk about more personal matters at the meeting and tell her some things about yourself which involves a gentler, more intimate side of you. If she takes the subject back to business smartly and acts formally, keeping a polite distance, then you'll know she's either not interested, extremely shy, or clueless. Just give her the opportunity to be something other than a friend and businesswoman and see if she accepts. Good luck!
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