guy.lepage Posted November 21, 2010 Posted November 21, 2010 I don't want to come across as a hater but I really don't get why women fall for a guy just because he can play a few notes. I'm not gay but I know how to recognize an attractive guy. When I see women fall for a relatively bland looking guy just because he can play the guitar (which I find totally unsexy), I really wonder whether I understand women. Any thoughts?
JohnnyBlaze Posted November 21, 2010 Posted November 21, 2010 I don't know for sure, but I think it's the uniqueness of it; it's something different from the rest of the guys. It's the same reason that they like athletes and bikers - we live in a different world, an exciting world, and women like that and want to be part of it.
xpaperxcutx Posted November 21, 2010 Posted November 21, 2010 I don't know for sure, but I think it's the uniqueness of it; it's something different from the rest of the guys. It's the same reason that they like athletes and bikers - we live in a different world, an exciting world, and women like that and want to be part of it.[/QUOTE] I also like to add that people who date people with certain occupations are probably going through different phases in life.
JohnnyBlaze Posted November 21, 2010 Posted November 21, 2010 Agreed, PC. It's usually just a phase, rather than a long-term thing. It's like anything else; from the outside, all that you see is the glamour and the excitement. Once you truly get into it, you start to see a lot of the downsides to the different life, and it's something that many people either can't or don't want to live with on a long term basis. And that's not a slam against the women who walk away. Those who get in certain activities have to realize that it may become their life and most people won't be able to handle it. They will lose some friends as well as potential girlfriends. It's just one of those things you either accept, or find a different thing to do. Taking the musician as the example. If he gets gigs out of it, any girl dating him has to accept that... He will be out many evenings and weekends. This ain't a 9-5 job.He will be around a lot of booze and drugs, even if he doesn't do them himself.He will be around a lot of young women who are scantily dressed, drunk as a skunk and horny as hell. They're good for business; you can't tell them to leave.Money will be sporadic and some of it will go back into the band for new instruments/equipment.If things go well, he may go on tour and be away for extended periods of time. At first it'll just be days, but success will extend that into weeks and months. All the above factors still apply, regardless of which town/country the tour takes him. And that's probably just the tip of the iceberg. That kind of trust is a lot to ask of anyone. It's hard to say to someone, "if you want to be with me, you have to learn a whole new set of rules for life." So, like PC said, more often than not, it's only a phase.
ascendotum Posted November 21, 2010 Posted November 21, 2010 When it comes to all the guys I have known over the years if I was order them in looks (from a non gay guy perspective + looks means more than just the face) and then order them in the amount of women they slept with (or how easy it was to get laid when single) it would pretty much be the same order except the guys that were musicians. Strapping on a guitar really elevated these guys sex lives and love lives by getting hotter girlfriends than they could have hoped for if they had never joined a band. The bitter beta guys here would never have come to LS if they learnt how to play the guitar & joined a band. That said when a musician hits his mid 30s things kind of change if they are not doing gigs anymore. An ex bass playing mate of mine who is an avg looking balding postal worker, rrrreeeeeeeaaaaaaallly misses his old days when it comes to getting a GF now. Even Bill Wyman of the Stones (not the best looking guy in a motley group) kept diaries of the 1000+ women he has slept with. Women aren't like they used to be when you watch old clips of beatlemania, but still today, roadies are getting blown by women just to get backstage, but at that level there is another aspect of 'star f***ers' psychology that comes into it. The only guy I know now who is still a young musician is not exactly a good looking guy but is 6’ and looks the part with spiked hair, eyeliner, black nails, ripped clothes, studs, lots of tattoos, etc. He plays in goth punk band, and they are **** and he doesn't pretend otherwise. Just being in a band, rehearsing and writing songs and talking about releasing a record is enough. Like probably 90% of musicians he got into the biz for the pussy and is a cleaner by day. He churns over GFs every few months and they are hotties. The last time I dropped in on him, he was finger f****** a real cute avril lavigne clone in front of me who he had just met, (would have been jackpot for me) but she was history 2 mths later. The guy in the band who stays single, if he does not screw a girl in a week, he is having a shocker, 2s normal, and 4 is his best so far. So many of the cute outgoing girls I have known over the years have had a musician in their past. Being a performer and a bad boy and also I guess the creative spirit of it, is really such an aphrodisiac for women, though I don’t imagine being a violinist in an orchestra or French horn player in a salvation army band is going to get you much pussy, so I’d say its more the rock n roll rebel persona. "I shoulda learned to play the guitar I shoulda learned to play them drums Look at that mama, she got it stickin' in the camera Man we could have some.."
Yvelysse Posted November 21, 2010 Posted November 21, 2010 women fall for a guy just because he can play a few notes. (on) the guitar. Any thoughts? Hun it's all in the fingering to me. I was never attracted to band members till I saw what on guy could do to a riff on an electric guitar, he made me cream. Srry for the TMI. THe guy I like now knows how to play a guitar, I'd like him even if he didn't. On a side note: Most of my 'fellow' girlfriends go for drummers more than guitarists.
Pyro Posted November 21, 2010 Posted November 21, 2010 Because having talent is attractive. and Fred Durst had groupies because?
Woggle Posted November 21, 2010 Posted November 21, 2010 and Fred Durst had groupies because? He was rich and famous. It's the same reason Justin Timberlike has admirers and Britney Spears had men lusting after her. Neither one has much musical talent. Talent though is what makes an average guy that much more attractive.
Pyro Posted November 21, 2010 Posted November 21, 2010 He was rich and famous. It's the same reason Justin Timberlike has admirers and Britney Spears had men lusting after her. Neither one has much musical talent. Talent though is what makes an average guy that much more attractive. Talent has nothing to do with it. Its all about the fame and fortune that the person has.
carhill Posted November 21, 2010 Posted November 21, 2010 I remember a now-departed LS'er being a private pilot and instructor and having trouble dating women, even though he appeared by his pictures to be a quite attractive young man. Piloting is an 'exciting' career and a lot of alpha males are pilots. Myself, racing for years, never saw any significant increase in female attention from handling a car on the edge of the performance envelope. Exciting sport but no panacea in the attraction department. My best guess is that performers in general make their living or express their passion through performing for other people and good ones have a natural skill or charisma which attracts people to them. I have known plenty of competent musicians who work behind the scenes, either as instructors or as studio musicians, and they don't appear to have any special attractive forces when they choose to take their skills out into the public realm. Would that musician who attracts all the ladies do the same if he was a carpenter? Good question
Ruby Slippers Posted November 21, 2010 Posted November 21, 2010 Well, I like musicians because I'm one, too. Writing and playing music with my guy is out of this world when it comes to real closeness, connection, and passion. Three out of four of my serious boyfriends have been musicians. (And even the one who wasn't had taken piano for years, and ventured to write me a sappy song for an anniversary. The song was pretty bad (lol), but it was very sweet.) But I don't like the ones who put on an act about it. I like the ones who write really good, smart, unique music. I think for most women, it's a status thing. I have a friend whose guy is a drummer. She's not very musical at all, and she is open about the fact that she likes the fact that her man is in the spotlight and all these people think he's cool and want to know him. She hates that women throw themselves at him often, but she has come a long way there.
kiss_andmakeup Posted November 21, 2010 Posted November 21, 2010 (edited) I was a classical music major in college and I can definitely say that an average-looking guy could be catapulted into "sexy" territory in my books if he was a great musician. However, being a musician myself, I can easily tell when someone has very rudimentary skills. So if a guy is trying to woo me, playing a crappy rendition of "stairway to heaven" on his acoustic guitar is not going to win him any points. Edited November 21, 2010 by kiss_andmakeup
ascendotum Posted November 21, 2010 Posted November 21, 2010 ..and she is open about the fact that she likes the fact that her man is in the spotlight and all these people think he's cool and want to know him. She hates that women throw themselves at him often, but she has come a long way there. The first sentence I reckon explains a big part of the musician attraction. The second sentence also applied to a number of girls I knew (my sister among them) who dated musos, but at the same time resented the attraction by other women for the exact same aspect as what had attracted them in the first place, which to me its a case of…. it comes with the territory, shut up or stop chasing a musician. Ruby, would you say you being a musician attracted your BFs to you or was it more the other way around. I personally don’t think there is the same psychology going on for a guy when it comes to female musos.
Titania22 Posted November 21, 2010 Posted November 21, 2010 Where was I? How come I have never had sex with some famous musician? Oh right, I was probably home in bed getting an early night.
TwilightSky Posted November 21, 2010 Posted November 21, 2010 Because it states "I am following my passion" in neon letters across their foreheads, and women like men that follow their passions despite what people think? I don't know, really.
Author guy.lepage Posted November 21, 2010 Author Posted November 21, 2010 If the guy is REALLY good, does that make a difference (as opposed to a guy who is jsut good)?
welikeincrowds Posted November 21, 2010 Posted November 21, 2010 Musicians get women for the same reason that we say things are "beautiful". We conflate what is happening in our imagination, and the pleasure we get it from it, with whatever it is outside of ourselves that we assume to be its cause. Consider what music is: a moment, usually minutes in length, wherein your attention is given to instruments. If the music is good, then the act of listening pleases you, and you surrender willingly, allowing your imagination to be taken to wherever the sounds will bring it. You indulge in it, and may move your body to it, as though entranced, to praise it in ritual. Listening to music no different than being seduced; in having your senses taken from you and stirred into pleasure; in having your imagination carried by the hand and spirited to a strange and familiar landscape, for only so long as the song lasts, to wander in the depths of your own emotional experience. We listen to music and we are seduced, so naturally, we are convinced that the musician is a seductive person. In fact, we might attribute all sorts of positive things to the musician. The problem is that we don't know the musician at all; what we've really gotten to know is ourselves, and the private experience we had while listening to the music. It gets more confusing when one of the instruments is the musician's voice. This all happens so quickly in the mind that those who love musicians will always love musicians. We can't help but connect our feelings with the things or people we think made us feel them. That's the nature of our creativity.
Titania22 Posted November 22, 2010 Posted November 22, 2010 Musicians get women for the same reason that we say things are "beautiful". We conflate what is happening in our imagination, and the pleasure we get it from it, with whatever it is outside of ourselves that we assume to be its cause. Consider what music is: a moment, usually minutes in length, wherein your attention is given to instruments. If the music is good, then the act of listening pleases you, and you surrender willingly, allowing your imagination to be taken to wherever the sounds will bring it. You indulge in it, and may move your body to it, as though entranced, to praise it in ritual. Listening to music no different than being seduced; in having your senses taken from you and stirred into pleasure; in having your imagination carried by the hand and spirited to a strange and familiar landscape, for only so long as the song lasts, to wander in the depths of your own emotional experience. We listen to music and we are seduced, so naturally, we are convinced that the musician is a seductive person. In fact, we might attribute all sorts of positive things to the musician. The problem is that we don't know the musician at all; what we've really gotten to know is ourselves, and the private experience we had while listening to the music. It gets more confusing when one of the instruments is the musician's voice. This all happens so quickly in the mind that those who love musicians will always love musicians. We can't help but connect our feelings with the things or people we think made us feel them. That's the nature of our creativity. That was a lovely explanation.
Feelin Frisky Posted November 22, 2010 Posted November 22, 2010 Assuming for a minute that it's true that musicians "get more women"--which I'm not sure is universally so--it porbably has more to do with the confidence exuded by the few men who boldly differentiate themselves from the rest of the men in the room through the taking of action to give special direction and meaning to the expereince of being in that particular place at that particular time. I don't think there is much more potent a sense than certainty--people are very much impressed by the conviction and certainty of others who take it upon themslves to demonstrate their clairity and agreement that what the have to communicate and how they intend to do so at that moment through music will cause a near complete yielding of smaller power agendas to the dominance of of this demonstration of expression. Women like the pwer, even if it come dressed up in softness.
EarthDweller Posted November 22, 2010 Posted November 22, 2010 (edited) If the guy is REALLY good, does that make a difference (as opposed to a guy who is jsut good)? Yup. (but keep in mind, it's a delicate balance of VERY GOOD and VERY HUMBLE - if he ever 'outman's another dude and seems insecure, it's over) I play and it's worked for me but I never intended to use it for that reason, but I'll give you my $0.02... First, it shows what he is doing when he's NOT with you. He's practicing.. Second, it shows he's not afraid of "those" kind of people-openess... Third, it shows a passion, an art, an interest.. that may or may not come in handy in the future Fourth, it SOUNDS COOL! Fifth, it gives her goals herself, maybe she can take up a hobby too Sixth, well, it's the child in all of us to want to say "my bf rocks!" Seventh, sex will likely be good.. because if he plays 'good' that means he understands the concept of beat, pacing, storylines, beginning and ending, timing, and emotion Eighth, it makes her feel like she 'scored' and sometimes girls deserve a little of that Ninth, it's FUN. Ten, because it usually means he's not wasting time on LoveShack, but that's obviously not true because I am Edited November 22, 2010 by EarthDweller
dispatch3d Posted November 22, 2010 Posted November 22, 2010 it's a status thing. I can tell that listening to women reason how they aren't attracted to band members will make me roll my eyes a lot haha... or listening to them reason why they are. There isn't a ton of reasoning that goes on with attraction....
fishtaco Posted November 22, 2010 Posted November 22, 2010 I think for most women, it's a status thing. I have a friend whose guy is a drummer. She's not very musical at all, and she is open about the fact that she likes the fact that her man is in the spotlight and all these people think he's cool and want to know him. She hates that women throw themselves at him often, but she has come a long way there. Yup. Being a musician gets you positive attention out in public -- You are, for that moment and that place, the big fish in the small pond. Same reason why DJs get more attention too. But notice I say get attention and not get women. Because you still have to know how to use that positive attention to your favor. A guy that can't get women because he's clueless, still won't be able to get women even if you put a guitar in his hands. Also, becoming a musician (or becoming proficient with a musical instrument) is a really dumb way to get women. Playing music is difficult and tedious. It takes a lot of time and monetary investment. There are WAY easier paths to take to accomplish the getting of women.
beatlejuice Posted November 22, 2010 Posted November 22, 2010 A few reasons. He must be semi-smart to be able to read/understand/write music. He might not be Einstein but he at least has a decent intelligence factor. Music is so universal. It unites us. Most people are fairly passionate about it (some to higher degrees than others) and so it's always something interesting to talk about. It means they're good with their hands. Does this mean it will last, what with the groupies and all? 'Course not, but it explains the initial attraction we have.
Ruby Slippers Posted November 22, 2010 Posted November 22, 2010 Ruby, would you say you being a musician attracted your BFs to you or was it more the other way around. I personally don’t think there is the same psychology going on for a guy when it comes to female musos. I agree that it's definitely a different psychology. And yes, it was a factor. With all of those relationships, we started making music together before or just as we were getting involved, and the musical connection was one factor in sparking and driving the relationship. Their musicianship intensified my attraction to them, and vice versa. You just get a whole new layer of information and emotion from a person when they are communicating through such a creative, bodily medium as music. Those relationships have ended, but I still have music and songs that a couple of those guys and I wrote, performed, and recorded together, which is pretty cool.
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