lastchances Posted November 21, 2010 Posted November 21, 2010 i've been dating the same girl for almost 8 years and we have a house together. next year we planned on getting married and life couldn't have been better. that's till i made a discovery that i wish, i had not. my girlfriend has a great job and we have an awesome relationship. sometimes she has to leave town and i always thought that was alright considering she always kept in touch. 2 years ago she had a co-worker(tony) that she just couldn't stand. i always would hear about how this guy was the worst thing to walk the face of the earth. i just gave her advice that if she didn't like working with the guy then she should either leave or get sent to another department. she just said she would ignore him. then that was it. then one day my girlfriend was telling me that the prick was getting sent to another state for a new position. she seemed pretty happy and i guess i was to because who likes listening to someone complain. it's been a good 2 years since my girlfriend has complained about tony. anyways, this week my girlfriend had to go away on a business trip and i thought i would fix the house up to pass the time. so i started putting new insulation in the attic and i discovered a disc. i thought it was music, so i put it in the cd player nothing came out. i thought maybe it was a disc with recorded movies of some sort. so i looked at the directory and found it was all just office stuff and an mpeg. i pushed the mpeg and it was my wife just laying in bed in satin pyjamas reading. i thought boring...maybe she hit the record button on her laptop by mistake. then a guy came out of the bathroom and jumped on the bed and started kissing and caressing her. my heart broke in half. i won't get into the pornographic details but lets just say if i was in the next room i would know the guy banging a girls name TONY!!!! i am so crushed... i don't know what to do or say. how could she talk about this guy she hated for so long and then end up sleeping with him. how can i marry someone that. i know she does love me but how can someone be that good at lying. i almost feel like putting it on the internet and showing her when she gets back. i don't know!!!! i am just so mad. how stupid could she be by even hiding it in the attic. why would she even keep it. do you think she still feels attatched to this guy that she hates. how should i go about this. i do know she loves me and maybe it was a mistake. it was like 2 years ago so maybe it was a mistake. i don't know what to do. i can't get it out of my head of a guy banging and cumming in my girlfriend with no condom. what if he had an std and i got it now. i am just so hurt. HELP!!!! i need advice. i hate being alone!!!
PerpetualDarkness Posted November 21, 2010 Posted November 21, 2010 Hey buddy, I'm extremely sorry to hear about your situation. In my opinion I would definitely NOT post the video online. If you do so there will be no turning back! Since it seems like you love her a lot, I say wait for your girlfriend to come home and try to have a talk with her. But in my opinion, although you may not want to hear it at the moment, I say forget about her, dump that cheating "b" word. She had sex with that Tony guy and she didn't even bother to come clean with you. What she did to you was not fair bud. Even if you take her back your relationship will take a lot of work, and could you really find it in your heart to give her your absolute trust again. Dump her sorry ass and make her regret for the rest of her life, her actions and their consequences. I wish you the best of luck, and keep us posted.
SimonSerenade Posted November 21, 2010 Posted November 21, 2010 Damn that's harsh, I can't imagine the world of pain your in right now, I'd be absolutely devastated in your shoes, Have you talked to your wife about this? or does she not know that you know?, If you love her you need to find out why she would do this to you and how it happened, Please don't keep it to yourself. In your shoes I'd take some time away from her and assess the situation after hearing what she has to say, Just imagining it would kill me inside as it does every time I wonder what my ex is doing right now but seeing it would be so much different and so much more painful, No matter what her excuse may be, This isn't going to be an easy one to get over, It'll take time.~ As for why she said she hated him, I really don't know, Sometime's people say that sort of stuff so you needn't think anything with the person is going on, It's happened to me once or twice in the past with a couple of ex's. You got a long dark road ahead of you man but I urge you to work through it and hopefully become stronger because of it, It's hard having dreams and ambitions with somebody, My ex left with my child and that was my family life style out of the window, You just got to ask yourself the question, Can you see a life with this woman after this and can you see yourself forgiving her?. If not then maybe your better off apart but if given time and a hell of alot of effort on her side of the fence, There's a chance it'll work out, Good luck.
amerikajin Posted November 28, 2010 Posted November 28, 2010 If it were me, that would probably be the end of it. Having an affair is one thing, but to record it and keep a DVD as a memento is just trashy. I think what's also devastating is the fact that she said that she supposedly didn't like this guy -- it's like she was saying that so that your guard would be down. The whole thing was premeditated. It wasn't just a night of having too much alcohol. With all of that history together, I guess I would at least hear what she has to say, but I doubt it would matter. I guess the better advice has already been given: take some time to think about it, but don't b.s. yourself. This is a serious blow to whatever trust you have built up in the relationship. And it goes without saying there could be others like Tony. It's not automatic that there are others, but now you would have to start asking some questions. She has some serious explaining to do.
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