wolvie111 Posted November 21, 2010 Posted November 21, 2010 My ex cheated and lied and made me feel guilty for ever accusing her of cheating but in the end all of my suspicions were correct. Anyways this was a while back, we have been on good terms I guess because we did not want to have a big drawn out battle to fight over custody, so we split custody of our son. The problem is I am still bitterly pissed off at her. I hate the fact that she is walking around with her current "man" and I sit at home alone. I work long hours so I am usually at work from 8 am till 8 pm because I am the only person that foots the bills around the house. I get two days off but those days are reserved for my son. I am also pissed off at my ex because she always tells me that I am a great guy and she messed up and I deserve someone better, but thats the problem, she has ruined me so badly I have NO TRUST in ANY female. I could talk to a woman but then the inner ******* comes out in me and I push them away or make myself so nasty in demeanor they do not want to talk to me. I am confused on if I do want a relationship or if I just want to be single. This has been going on for a long time now. There are days I sit at home alone and still cry because I am alone, I have no one to talk to and want that companionship, but then I have this inner rage issue that arises that tells me I am better off alone. I was told maybe I should seek counseling but I simply cant afford it. Need help!
whichwayisup Posted November 21, 2010 Posted November 21, 2010 Start journaling your feelings and thoughts on paper and pen. It'll help you see how much you have going on inside of you. Since you say you can't afford counselling right now, before you write that off, check into your work insurance, see if some sessions are covered.. Even if you go 5 times, it'll benefit you alot! If need be, borrow money from a trusted friend or a family member.
carhill Posted November 21, 2010 Posted November 21, 2010 Journaling, even by posting here on LS, can help. Check with local colleges and universities to see if their psych departments offer free counseling services. They often do this as a method of training psychologists in the practical aspects of their education. A similar type service provided by a local law school helped mediate our divorce and provide the necessary legal documents for review and submission to the court at no cost at all, saving thousands in legal fees. If you still have legal issues to iron out, look into that as well. You can't change what has happened. The changes come in how you deal with it and continue on with your life. It takes time and effort and the proper tools. Hope it works out
Lexygirl Posted November 21, 2010 Posted November 21, 2010 Also, try to fit in doing something active for YOU that can possibly get your frustrations out and at the same time meet ppl so you don't feel so alone. For example, join a bowling league, etc.. I used to write poetry and that helped me work through feelings alot. Good luck.
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