knaveman Posted November 21, 2010 Posted November 21, 2010 I'm going to post this with the understanding that I know full well where it will go and how badly the thread will end. Hopefully, along the way, I can glean some useful information before it turns bad. Oh, and I'm going to pour out my heart and soul and bare all for everyone one to see, so be gentle. Or at least polite. There's this girl. That's how the good stories start, so let's start this one the same way. There's this girl I know and I was interested in her at one time. Long before I really got to know her or ever spent much time with her, I was interested in her. We had talked a bit here and there. Time went on and I got to know her better and learned that she was interested in me as well. Actually I was told, by all her friends, that she really really liked me. Keep in mind that we are in our early thirties. Felt a little high school to me. Anyway, we seemed to like each other to some degree and we always seemed to pair up when we were out. I don't know when my mind changed or how exactly, but it did. I have a terrible history with women, either I treat them bad or they treat me bad. You know, the same ol' story. No matter what, I'm gun shy to say the least. Now, all of a sudden, I'm not too keen on the idea of dating this girl and I keep using her weight as the excuse. To myself. She's not fat by any means, only a little big, which has never bothered me in the past with any girl I've ever dated. None the less, I can't seem to get past it this time. She's a really nice girl but I don't know how much we have in common because I've never bothered to find out. I kinda feel like I'm holding back and not letting myself get too involved with anything, but I don't stop looking at other girls and trying for them. I'm probably spending too much time thinking about things again. I do that a lot. Way too much. I often think I should just go with my gut and date her and see what happens because that is all we ever can do. I tell myself to not worry about how my "trial" dating of her could end, but I can't. I worry about how other people feel, especially when I am the cause. I don't want to hurt anyone, most of all myself, but at some point life has to intervene. Doesn't it? I can't live my life alone and in my own head forever can I? Not in a good way. I'm really afraid of rejection. That's why I've chosen to be alone for so long and am avoiding this girl. That is what has defined my life to this point.
skydiveaddict Posted November 21, 2010 Posted November 21, 2010 I'm really afraid of rejection. That's why I've chosen to be alone for so long and am avoiding this girl. That is what has defined my life to this point. It's wise to be afraid of it.
Author knaveman Posted November 21, 2010 Author Posted November 21, 2010 It's wise to be afraid of it. It may be wise, but it's not beneficial.
Corporation Lizzie Posted November 22, 2010 Posted November 22, 2010 Nothing ventured nothing gained and all that... Think of it this way, What is the worst that can happen? What is the best that can happen? Weigh up the consequences and the decision should be easy.
ConstantCraving Posted December 2, 2010 Posted December 2, 2010 Now, all of a sudden, I'm not too keen on the idea of dating this girl and I keep using her weight as the excuse. To myself. She's not fat by any means, only a little big, which has never bothered me in the past with any girl I've ever dated. None the less, I can't seem to get past it this time. I don't think that noticing her weight is an "excuse". I think its a sign that you are not really into her. However, you are so psyched that this girl is into you that you really WANT to find her attractive. If you thought that she wasn't into you, would you still be physically attracted to her?
Author knaveman Posted December 3, 2010 Author Posted December 3, 2010 If you thought that she wasn't into you, would you still be physically attracted to her? Probably not.
shayan Posted December 3, 2010 Posted December 3, 2010 dude, skydive addict that's the dumbest thing I've ever heard you say and I know you're a wise person. Do not fear rejection the only reason it affects you so adversely is because you are not at peace and comfort ith yourself. I'm only 21 and I've had my heartbroken seriously and rejected so many times. Do you think I gave up hell effing no, I'm out dating girls till I find the right one I don't care what they think, I know the right one will come. I say if you feel a connection with this girl go for it. but don't go forward if you're just desperate and want someone, go for it if you can actually see yourself having a serious realtionship with her. And please work on yourself so you can overcome this fear of rejection otherwise you will be getting rejected by default cause of your fear to actually go after what you desire because of an irrational phobia. Work on it bro.
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