WHOLESALEPACK Posted November 21, 2010 Posted November 21, 2010 How many more hours has to pass by for her to talk to me again? It has been 12 hours now. People in relationships get into arguments all the time and it was only spitting. I left before she had a chance to react. I think maybe one apology the next day should be enough if she's still mad about it. So is she going to put this behind or should I have to go all the day towards giving her flowers and the whole thing some of us men tend to do when a girl is angry?
KraftDinner Posted November 21, 2010 Posted November 21, 2010 Dude, spitting is a big deal. Where I live, it's considered assault. Seriously.
Author WHOLESALEPACK Posted November 21, 2010 Author Posted November 21, 2010 Dude, spitting is a big deal. Where I live, it's considered assault. Seriously.It is? I thought assault was when you actually physically attack/hit someone. I never hit a girl in my life. So what now? She has never been this angry before. I have tried calling her, in which she answered once but hanged up on me as soon as she heard my voice.
Star Gazer Posted November 21, 2010 Posted November 21, 2010 If a man ever spit on me, I'd never speak to him again. Ever. Done. If she takes you back, she has no respect for herself. I feel bad for her.
Star Gazer Posted November 21, 2010 Posted November 21, 2010 IMO, being spit on is more disrespecting to a woman than being slapped across the face. Man, I'm furious just reading how casual you are about this. WTF was going through your mind that you thought to disrespect her like that?
Author WHOLESALEPACK Posted November 21, 2010 Author Posted November 21, 2010 IMO, being spit on is more disrespecting to a woman than being slapped across the face. Man, I'm furious just reading how casual you are about this. WTF was going through your mind that you thought to disrespect her like that? We had an argument that's what went on. This is really my first relationship (first date, first kiss, first everything) so I got carried away a bit. Alright so what now? I already tried calling her but she hanged up on me. She didn't even let me explain. What now?
KraftDinner Posted November 21, 2010 Posted November 21, 2010 IMO, being spit on is more disrespecting to a woman than being slapped across the face. I totally agree. Yes, it is considered assault here. Not sure about everywhere else.
dreamingoftigers Posted November 21, 2010 Posted November 21, 2010 Sorry dude, but there is not much to explain, you SPAT on her! That is a total deal-breaker. Very, very disrespectful. It is abusive. I hope in your next relationship that you learn how to deal better with conflict. Perhaps you should just leave this woman alone because the fact that you think that this is just "argument behaviour" shows a total disconnect from having any empathy with her.
Author WHOLESALEPACK Posted November 21, 2010 Author Posted November 21, 2010 I totally agree. Yes, it is considered assault here. Not sure about everywhere else. Alright I'll keep that in mind. Can someone tell me how to get her back or I'm I not allow to make mistakes? If I call her now she'll hang up on me again.
Citizen Erased Posted November 21, 2010 Posted November 21, 2010 I doubt she considers it as you assaulting her but if she never speaks to you again I wouldn't blame her. How incredibly degrading and disrespectful to have someone that claims to love you do that. You made her feel like dirt and that is awful. You clearly don't see what you did as anything other than something she should just get over. No amount of flowers or chocolate would make me ever see you again if I was her.
standingtall Posted November 21, 2010 Posted November 21, 2010 I would just apologize to her and leave it at that. Nobody deserves to be spit on because you had a fight. To get her back try taking some anger management courses before you try to get her back again.
Author WHOLESALEPACK Posted November 21, 2010 Author Posted November 21, 2010 Sorry dude, but there is not much to explain, you SPAT on her! That is a total deal-breaker. Very, very disrespectful. It is abusive. I hope in your next relationship that you learn how to deal better with conflict. Perhaps you should just leave this woman alone because the fact that you think that this is just "argument behaviour" shows a total disconnect from having any empathy with her.I don't want another girl. I want my her back. She means everything to me. Talking to girls wasn't easy for me until the day I met her. She made happy that day. Don't want this to end, really don't.
Star Gazer Posted November 21, 2010 Posted November 21, 2010 Alright I'll keep that in mind. Can someone tell me how to get her back or I'm I not allow to make mistakes? If I call her now she'll hang up on me again. This isn't something you should have to "keep in mind." It should be instinctual, that you do NOT spit on a woman. This wasn't a "mistake." This was a conscious choice on your part. Leave her alone. She's not going to talk to you. It's over. Done.
Author WHOLESALEPACK Posted November 21, 2010 Author Posted November 21, 2010 I would just apologize to her and leave it at that. Nobody deserves to be spit on because you had a fight. To get her back try taking some anger management courses before you try to get her back again.Even if, apart from this argument, I have never actually gotten into fights with anyone before? I didn't mean to spit at her. It was a mistake which I want to fix. If only she would take my call and me let explain, let me tell her how much I love her, that she's everything to me.
skydiveaddict Posted November 21, 2010 Posted November 21, 2010 I don't know man. Spitting on your girlfriend? And now you're saying you "didn't mean to spit at her?" You're just digging a deeper hole for yourself.
johan Posted November 21, 2010 Posted November 21, 2010 That was supremely uncool. Not only is it disgusting and degrading, but it also shows a complete loss of control on your part. And it seems likely you could do a lot worse if given the time to escalate. "I just slapped her". "It was only one punch, and not even to her face." "I punched her in the face, yeah, but it wasn't that hard." "It was only one tooth she lost, she has 31 others." The fact that you want her to take you back indicates that you aren't evaluating your actions at all. You regret losing her, not spitting on her. And as long as it's ok with her, anything goes as far as you're concerned. The best thing that could happen in this case is for you to lose her. I doubt anyone here is going to take your side on this and hope she gives you another chance. At least no one respectable.
Author WHOLESALEPACK Posted November 21, 2010 Author Posted November 21, 2010 This isn't something you should have to "keep in mind." It should be instinctual, that you do NOT spit on a woman. This wasn't a "mistake." This was a conscious choice on your part.Alright I know it was wrong and I'm sorry about what I did. Do I have to be reminded again? I told everyone of my family members and they're all mad at me. I got nothing but scoldings from them. Leave her alone. She's not going to talk to you. It's over. Done.So there is no hope at all? I really didn't mean to, honestly.
Star Gazer Posted November 21, 2010 Posted November 21, 2010 I really didn't mean to, honestly. YES, you DID. You didn't accidentally gleek on her while eating/speaking (something totally involuntary). To the contrary, you actually grouped some spit in your mouth and projected it at her with speed. You CHOSE to do that, therefore you MEANT to do it. You meant to spit on her. What you didn't mean to happen, is to get in trouble for it. You feel guilty NOW only because of the responses you're receiving. Your opening post speaks volumes. You didn't feel regret on your own.
Star Gazer Posted November 21, 2010 Posted November 21, 2010 The fact that you want her to take you back indicates that you aren't evaluating your actions at all. You regret losing her, not spitting on her. And as long as it's ok with her, anything goes as far as you're concerned. This, this, this.
standingtall Posted November 21, 2010 Posted November 21, 2010 Even if, apart from this argument, I have never actually gotten into fights with anyone before? I didn't mean to spit at her. It was a mistake which I want to fix. If only she would take my call and me let explain, let me tell her how much I love her, that she's everything to me. Unfortunately not having gotten into fights with anyone before (which I doubt sorry, the cast majority of people have been in arguments since the teenage years) does not weigh in on the situation with your gf. You can't un-spit on her. If you are only dating, don't be surprised if she never wants to see you again. The fact that you love her and that she is everything to you does not change the fact that you handled this conflict beyond poorly, get into some kind of course or counseling. The fact that you are surprised by this reaction tells me your boundaries need some work. Don't worry too much, a lot of us need work on our conflict skills and boundaries.
Gingy Posted November 21, 2010 Posted November 21, 2010 If she or anyone for that matter spat in your face wwyd? I honestly think your a troll everyone knows the golden rule :treat others as you would want to be treated.just sayin...
Author WHOLESALEPACK Posted November 21, 2010 Author Posted November 21, 2010 That was supremely uncool. Not only is it disgusting and degrading, but it also shows a complete loss of control on your part. And it seems likely you could do a lot worse if given the time to escalate. "I just slapped her". "It was only one punch, and not even to her face." "I punched her in the face, yeah, but it wasn't that hard." "It was only one tooth she lost, she has 31 others."This is too harsh don't you think? I'm not an abuser. I have never hit a woman in my entire life nor use the c word. The fact that you want her to take you back indicates that you aren't evaluating your actions at all. You regret losing her, not spitting on her. And as long as it's ok with her, anything goes as far as you're concerned.I don't know what was I thinking. The best thing that could happen in this case is for you to lose her. I doubt anyone here is going to take your side on this and hope she gives you another chance. At least no one respectable. So there is nothing I can do to fix this? Not even an apology letter (since she won't take my calls)?
Author WHOLESALEPACK Posted November 21, 2010 Author Posted November 21, 2010 If she or anyone for that matter spat in your face wwyd?If it was she I'll probably say something like ''Ugh what was that all about'', get upset for several minutes but then talked to her when she's all calm (maybe I did or say something to upset her). If it's a random girl, I'll clean my face quickly and say ''Yuck, why on earth you did that'' and leave. If it's a random dude or one of my buddies there would probably be a fight, which would be my first one.
Cee Posted November 21, 2010 Posted November 21, 2010 This is a serious act that you've done. I would suggest seeing a counselor to get a professional opinion. Then follow the recommendations of the counselor. Or maybe take an anger management class.
johan Posted November 21, 2010 Posted November 21, 2010 This is too harsh don't you think? I'm not an abuser. I have never hit a woman in my entire life nor use the c word. This is your first fight with your first girlfriend. So you can't use your history to support your assertion you aren't an abuser. You have no history with women other than this. The fact is you lost control and assaulted her. Maybe not with your hand or with a word, but that's just a technicality. No. You should give up on the idea that you'll get her back. If there is an ounce of dignity in her, she won't even consider it ever again. I'm sure it hurts and is disappointing, and I wouldn't wish that pain on anyone. But everyone has to deal with the loss at some point. And a lot of people have the added burden of knowing it was their own damn fault. Like you. The fact is that you're too young and/or too emotionally unstable to be in a real relationship anyway.
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