Am I weird for feeling sympathy for my ex?

[Taramere]

A friend of mine just emailed me a picture of my ex from about a week ago and it actually made me sad. She damn near looks like she is 50 and you can tell she is on her last legs. When I look in her eyes I can tell there is no life left. Despite everything she has put me through I feel nothing but pity and sadness for her anymore because there is no way she is happy. The level of self destruction she has put herself through is unbelievable.

 

Also before anybody asks I will not post her pic because despite everything I have more class than that.

 

 

I'm glad you're not posting her picture. That would be a horrible thing to do.

 

I think it's normal to feel bad for someone who has hit this situation - though it's probably not the same level of bad you would feel for someone who you regarded as a good person, undeserving of bad luck that had befallen them. Essentially she's lost her power (if she ever really had any, beyond what you imagined her to have). It's probably like seeing a wild animal caught in a cage. You know it would bite you if it could, but it doesn't stop you from feeling bad for it - and perhaps feeling an urge to rescue it.

 

The problem with people like your ex is that they feed off that empathy other people have - so while it's not wrong to have the empathy, you do have to avoid permitting it to dictate your actions in respect of someone who have proved their hostility towards you time and time again. I'm not sure she's getting what she deserves, because like you I would feel sorry for anybody in that situation.

 

Likely all sorts of troubles and hurts in childhood took her to this stage, and it's a sad situation...but this woman has caused you enough harm. You shouldn't dwell too much on her fate.

[Woggle]

I know she brought it on herself but it finally has let me not take it personal anymore. Any man she was with would have gone through the same thing. I really am starting to think she has mental issues and should be commited.