tbird509 Posted November 21, 2010 Posted November 21, 2010 i still have some feelings for my ex,who's also my coworker that i see many times daily,but i realize we arent gona be together anytime soon,most likely at all,she's already dated and moved on 2.5 months post breakup,so instead of me trying to get her back,ive pretty much realized it wont work for us and instead of throwing away our friendship also,i said im ready to be just friends and thats it,no hidden agenda.if we didnt work together i wouldve went nc,but since we do i figured i bite the bullet and start the slow process of rebuilding our friendship at work,instead of ignoring eachother.im not trying to work it out anymore,reason being she messed around with someone else,so i still care for her as a person and want the best for her,regardless of who shes with,i guess at this point its selfless love...does anybody think its a bad idea to be friends with an ex you work with and see alot daily
dreamingoftigers Posted November 22, 2010 Posted November 22, 2010 i still have some feelings for my ex,who's also my coworker that i see many times daily,but i realize we arent gona be together anytime soon,most likely at all,she's already dated and moved on 2.5 months post breakup,so instead of me trying to get her back,ive pretty much realized it wont work for us and instead of throwing away our friendship also,i said im ready to be just friends and thats it,no hidden agenda.if we didnt work together i wouldve went nc,but since we do i figured i bite the bullet and start the slow process of rebuilding our friendship at work,instead of ignoring eachother.im not trying to work it out anymore,reason being she messed around with someone else,so i still care for her as a person and want the best for her,regardless of who shes with,i guess at this point its selfless love...does anybody think its a bad idea to be friends with an ex you work with and see alot daily Yes, it's a bad idea. It seems that there is a lot of baggage and entanglement already and that there would not be much relief from that. Try to fence her off from your personal life as much as you can.
paleblue Posted November 22, 2010 Posted November 22, 2010 You do what you feel you have too, but I think its a bad idea also. I work with my exGF. Ive been thru all this. Ive tried the friendship road. It just turns out to be a friendship with conditions. You are not really friends. It;s like fake friends. So why bother with it. Just tell her, you dont hate her, you're just not comfortable getting personal anymore. Tell her you just have to set boundaries that work for you, and you cant make everyone happy. She will understand. If you have to deal with each other, just keep it business only. And dont get fooled just because she acts friendly or smiles or jokes around after awhile. Sometimes exes start fishing just to get a reaction. Dont give her any reaction, because nothing has changed. And besides, even if it does, you think you are going to be able to trust her again? You already did and look what happened. The second time around will just turn out the same. One shot per person, that is all we get. And if it doesnt work out the first time, time to move on. Just be a polite co-worker from there on out. Nothing more. No big deal. And do yourself a favor, dont get yourself into a stupid situation with her where you find yourself chit chatting, or her fishing for personal info. Seriously, You will thank yourself down the road. I know.
paleblue Posted November 22, 2010 Posted November 22, 2010 so i still care for her as a person and want the best for her,regardless of who shes with,i guess at this point its selfless love... And PS - just forget this... you just come across as a puss. F her. you really dont feel this way. You just dont realise it yet. Good luck.
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