true2010 Posted November 20, 2010 Posted November 20, 2010 Let me first say that I'm not the jealous type. I don't ever check up on my gf, or snoop, or grill her about guys. I don't delve into the past. Well, some background on my gf. He second-to-last bf was a male stripper that she dated for 2 years. Once she broke up with him she was engaged to a very jealous, controlling (checking her phone) and abusive guy that haaaaated the stripper guy. He had lots of retroactive jealousy. Then I enter. And everything has been smooth for months. A while back, I did notice when she was showing me things on her computer that she still had the stripper ex's fb and his stripping company website that he runs bookmarked on her browser. But I never brought it up with her. Just figured she wasn't over her ex and we're fairly new so w/e... Well, one of my crazy exes (Who I maintain no contact with - no fb friends, don't have thier phone numbers, etc.) tried to get in touch with me and my gf got upset, telling me that she's "never in contact with her exes... out of sight and out of mind is the best thing to do.." etc.. Well I told her, "I'm not friends with any exes, nor do i have any contact with them, and I don't even have them bookmarked on my browser." lol. (I only said it because her saying that 'out of site out of mind' thing. I'm not a big fan of hypocrisy). She put two and two together and asked me why I said the bookmark thing. And then said she did have her stripper bf bookmarked but that (get ready for this) she "did it because her last ex was so jealous and controlling that she wanted to test me to see that I wasn't the jealous type." I said, "Uhh.. you purposely put your exes fb page and stripping company on your browser to trap me? How shrewd of you! (sarcastically)" She said, "Yeah, and when we were at the computer and they came on the screen I thought you would say something to me but you didn't. I was surprised!" I said, "Well, I didn't really give a sh#t either way. You can be have whatever you want on your computer, just don't tell me that out of site out of mind thing if you don't practice it yourself." It kind of died down until recently she randomly texted me, "How's the bikes?" one day. I replied, "Whaaa??" (Because I have no bikes, no motorcycles, and never talk about bikes to her. That text was totally random.) Buuuuut, the stripper ex was very into motorcycles and even gave her her own bike to ride when they were together. So I didn't say anything and a little while later she said something like, "I saw some motorcycles pass and sent you an odd text to see if you'd reply." I calmly said, "Oh. I just thought you were texting your ex and sent it to me by accident lol." Then she said that saying "How's the bikes" is like a way of greeting... like saying, "How's it going?" (wtf??) I said, "Hmmm... Well I don't remember ever greeting a buddy of mine with 'How's the jetskis?' but okkkkk..." Finally she came clean and said, "My last ex used to get so jealous when a motorcycle passed us because it reminded him of the stripper ex. So I wanted to see if you'd get jealous if I sent a text about bikes." I said, "Uh, when have I ever gotten jealous?" And that it was weird to be tested like that. I think how I'm so easy going and never get jealous has actually made her try to make me jealous... I dunno... I'm trying to understand where she's coming from with this stuff... any thoughts? She also recently, and for no reason, told me her fb and email passwords (to which i said, "Uh, please change them right now. I don't want to know that stuff!) and then she put me on the spot with, "Oh well, I'd figure you'd give me yours too but if you don't want to then it's fine I guess."
deebeechrisyo Posted November 20, 2010 Posted November 20, 2010 From reading your other thread as well as this one, this girl sounds like a wreck and maybe a little nutso. She definitely does not know how to act in a relationship.
Left in a Lurch Posted November 20, 2010 Posted November 20, 2010 I think she is just looking for something to find wrong with you and she will keep doing it until she "finds" something. The text about the bikes, she lied about that. That means she lies about other things. You really shouldn't accept that. Tell her it's not fair to judge you by what her ex did and if she can't get past it I would not stick around very long.
Mad Max Posted November 20, 2010 Posted November 20, 2010 The relationship is going to end soon and she wants to end because of something of you that she found, and not the other way around. Dump this girl and don't give it a second thought.
spice4life Posted November 20, 2010 Posted November 20, 2010 Let me first say that I'm not the jealous type. I don't ever check up on my gf, or snoop, or grill her about guys. I don't delve into the past. Well, some background on my gf. He second-to-last bf was a male stripper that she dated for 2 years. Once she broke up with him she was engaged to a very jealous, controlling (checking her phone) and abusive guy that haaaaated the stripper guy. He had lots of retroactive jealousy. Then I enter. And everything has been smooth for months. A while back, I did notice when she was showing me things on her computer that she still had the stripper ex's fb and his stripping company website that he runs bookmarked on her browser. But I never brought it up with her. Just figured she wasn't over her ex and we're fairly new so w/e... Well, one of my crazy exes (Who I maintain no contact with - no fb friends, don't have thier phone numbers, etc.) tried to get in touch with me and my gf got upset, telling me that she's "never in contact with her exes... out of sight and out of mind is the best thing to do.." etc.. Well I told her, "I'm not friends with any exes, nor do i have any contact with them, and I don't even have them bookmarked on my browser." lol. (I only said it because her saying that 'out of site out of mind' thing. I'm not a big fan of hypocrisy). She put two and two together and asked me why I said the bookmark thing. And then said she did have her stripper bf bookmarked but that (get ready for this) she "did it because her last ex was so jealous and controlling that she wanted to test me to see that I wasn't the jealous type." I said, "Uhh.. you purposely put your exes fb page and stripping company on your browser to trap me? How shrewd of you! (sarcastically)" She said, "Yeah, and when we were at the computer and they came on the screen I thought you would say something to me but you didn't. I was surprised!" I said, "Well, I didn't really give a sh#t either way. You can be have whatever you want on your computer, just don't tell me that out of site out of mind thing if you don't practice it yourself." It kind of died down until recently she randomly texted me, "How's the bikes?" one day. I replied, "Whaaa??" (Because I have no bikes, no motorcycles, and never talk about bikes to her. That text was totally random.) Buuuuut, the stripper ex was very into motorcycles and even gave her her own bike to ride when they were together. So I didn't say anything and a little while later she said something like, "I saw some motorcycles pass and sent you an odd text to see if you'd reply." I calmly said, "Oh. I just thought you were texting your ex and sent it to me by accident lol." Then she said that saying "How's the bikes" is like a way of greeting... like saying, "How's it going?" (wtf??) I said, "Hmmm... Well I don't remember ever greeting a buddy of mine with 'How's the jetskis?' but okkkkk..." Finally she came clean and said, "My last ex used to get so jealous when a motorcycle passed us because it reminded him of the stripper ex. So I wanted to see if you'd get jealous if I sent a text about bikes." I said, "Uh, when have I ever gotten jealous?" And that it was weird to be tested like that. I think how I'm so easy going and never get jealous has actually made her try to make me jealous... I dunno... I'm trying to understand where she's coming from with this stuff... any thoughts? She also recently, and for no reason, told me her fb and email passwords (to which i said, "Uh, please change them right now. I don't want to know that stuff!) and then she put me on the spot with, "Oh well, I'd figure you'd give me yours too but if you don't want to then it's fine I guess." Actually, I made that mistake in the past and learned a huge lesson from it and never did it again. Even when pushed I stayed silent. Anyway, come right out and tell her that you DO NOT want to hear those kind of things from her no matter what her reason is. Let her know that if she wants to continue with you it has to stop...period! If she continues then break up with her. If she doesn't stop then you should definitely reconsider the relationship and try to find someone else that is a better fit. Anyone who is intelligent and honorable will respect your request. If she doesn't then she is not worth your trouble.
veggirl Posted November 20, 2010 Posted November 20, 2010 What a weirdo. I agree she is going to poke and prod until she gets the reaction she seems to want. I think she thrives on drama and it is somehow comforting to her, in a weird way. She needs it!
Author true2010 Posted November 20, 2010 Author Posted November 20, 2010 The text about the bikes, she lied about that. That means she lies about other things. You really shouldn't accept that. I did randomly text her days later, "How's the trees?" and she got upset and said she didn't want me joking about the text she sent.
spice4life Posted November 20, 2010 Posted November 20, 2010 I did randomly text her days later, "How's the trees?" and she got upset and said she didn't want me joking about the text she sent. Can I ask why you are still with this girl? Does she seem to have the ability to overcome this behavior or do you think it's a permanent issue? If it is, then back to my first question.
Author true2010 Posted November 22, 2010 Author Posted November 22, 2010 Can I ask why you are still with this girl? Does she seem to have the ability to overcome this behavior or do you think it's a permanent issue? If it is, then back to my first question. She was very attractive and we clicked sexually. And we got along very well in many areas. But, unfortunately, last night I dumped her. We were playing tennis and she started asking about me playing with my exes (she was so interested in knowing about them). I told her that one had played in high school. My gf said, "Did she have an athletic body? I said, "Umm.. she was skinny but she always had a butt and she had said it was from playing tennis." Well, even though my gf had ASKED ME about my ex's body, she must have taken offense to what I said, even though at no point did I say it in a flattering manner, or say my old ex's butt was bigger or anything like that. I'm always tactful and keep other's feelings in mind. Well, an hour later, out of the blue, my gf comes up to me and says, "well you know how I told you I didn't enjoy sex with my last ex very much, and that it hurt..?" (She had mentioned it in passing before). She continued - "well it was because my ex's c*ck was really, really huge! And extra hard! And so big that it stretched me and after I left him it took a while for me to tighten up again..!" And saying all these things with a smirk and this look in her eyes. I'm definitely not small down there also so her actual comparison didn't bother me much... but the fact that she did it to be purposely mean... and that look in her eyes when she said it... - I don't think I could have gotten over that. As in, all my sexual desire for her at that point just left. It's funny because she had said awhile back that her ex and her didn't quite "match" and it got to be a problem in their relationship where it wasn't enjoyable for her and that she would have to lay down with severe stomach pains after sex. And she's always said that I and her were a perfect fit (after the first time we had sex she said, "I've had bigger and smaller.. all shapes and sizes... but yours fits me like a glove." But she still wanted to try to hurt me by saying that stuff lol. I kind of stayed quiet. She knew she did something wrong and tried to kiss and make up but I just kind of messed on my phone. Then she took her dog for a walk and I got my things together and left her house. I know not breaking up face-to-face isn't the best way to do it, but I know she would have made it hard to leave. I got tons of voicemails and texts telling me to "come back," "sorry," she thought "I was the One," etc... Then she said she was glad she did her "tests" on me because she found out how I really was. I told her, "Did you ever think that maybe your tests actually ended up fracturing the relationship and driving me away..?" Oh well it's done (I never, never get back with exes).
CLS63AMG Posted November 22, 2010 Posted November 22, 2010 Good move, she sounds like a mess anyways.
kiss_andmakeup Posted November 22, 2010 Posted November 22, 2010 Holy crap what a NUT! Good on you for not putting up with her anymore.
veggirl Posted November 22, 2010 Posted November 22, 2010 WOW. Don't get back together no matter how much she begs!!
refurb Posted November 22, 2010 Posted November 22, 2010 The sex must have been great because I would have bailed after the first ****-test. Jesus. RF
Green Posted November 22, 2010 Posted November 22, 2010 I did randomly text her days later, "How's the trees?" and she got upset and said she didn't want me joking about the text she sent. Thats kinda funny. I actualy think she enjoyed messing with you and probably did think about/contact her ex. Good job dumping her.
Author true2010 Posted November 23, 2010 Author Posted November 23, 2010 Last night, in a classy move, right after we broke up she went on facebook and posted on the stripper guy's wall (it's public) saying she wanted to hang out at some bike event. I saw it this morning and texted her something sarcastic like, "nice one." She said she wrote that to get revenge because the way I left her house without saying goodbye was such a horrible thing I did. I said, "Well I don't like to hang around when I being purposely mocked and hurt!" I told her what she did before I left was worse than me leaving. And posting something like that on fb right after was also worse. Even though that guy's page has always been public and her comment was on there for 9 hours by the time I saw it, oon after I texted her "nice one" his page switched to private... So just more weirdness to deal with. And she is still trying to get back with me even after doing something so unloyal and spiteful. And that's to the guy she always says she never talked to ever lol *sigh*
spice4life Posted November 23, 2010 Posted November 23, 2010 This whole situation sounds really weird and its good you got out. She sounds like a nut case.
Green Posted November 23, 2010 Posted November 23, 2010 bad move txting "nice one." You need to just move on and forget about this girl until you are over her.
Citizen Erased Posted November 23, 2010 Posted November 23, 2010 bad move txting "nice one." You need to just move on and forget about this girl until you are over her. Agreed. Nothing positive will come from it. How's the trees cracked me up!
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