Raderick Posted November 20, 2010 Posted November 20, 2010 (edited) I met a gal on OKCupid a few weeks ago that literally had just about the same interests I had when it came to music, movies and general activities. We chatted for a couple weeks only because we live a couple of hours away from each other. We finally made plans for her to come over to my place. I'd cook her dinner while she brought desserts. I made three cheese manicotti which came out much better than I expected - the noodles came apart while boiling but we made the best of it - kinda turned into sandwiches of sorts. She absolutely loved them while the pumpkin and cream sandwich cookies she made were really good! We ended up watching Monty Python's Life of Brian, all of a sudden I figured what the hell, and we made out; one thing led to another, and well, lets just say we only were able to watch about a 1/3 of the movie . We stayed the night cuddling and kissing and not really getting any significant sleep whatsoever. She had to leave early in the morning for the drive back up and then go to work. Walked her to her car, kissed some more and went our merry ways. I'm not one to put all of my eggs in one basket but I feel that she's one that I don't want to slip out of my hands. It's clear we enjoy each other's company and there was chemistry oozing out of us! My problem is that she's going out of town next week, both of our schedules are fairly hectic; so the next possible chance we'll get to see each other is in two weeks. So how do I keep interest between now and then? Edited November 20, 2010 by Raderick
Author Raderick Posted November 21, 2010 Author Posted November 21, 2010 Anyone? Anything? I know there are a lot more attractive threads here that involve getting broken up, jealousy, men being borderline stalkers, how much porn a guy can watch before it becomes a no-no and cheating, but there could be positive stories posted here too!
Sabali Posted November 21, 2010 Posted November 21, 2010 Do nothing until she get back. Well do something but just don't let it be about her. We tend to think that we must manipulate and micromanage each situation when it comes to dating and one of the most common worries is when one of the couple is leaving out of town. There is nothing to do now and you do not have a "problem." It sounds like the foundation was "laid" well so let things take their natural course. In general, we should take things slow anyway. It is good for you that she is leaving out of town now. It allows you to go slow at least for a bit. Let her dream and fantasize about you until she gets back. Don't go texting her and sending her telegrams. Relax. We are winning.
Author Raderick Posted November 21, 2010 Author Posted November 21, 2010 Do nothing until she get back. Well do something but just don't let it be about her. We tend to think that we must manipulate and micromanage each situation when it comes to dating and one of the most common worries is when one of the couple is leaving out of town. There is nothing to do now and you do not have a "problem." It sounds like the foundation was "laid" well so let things take their natural course. In general, we should take things slow anyway. It is good for you that she is leaving out of town now. It allows you to go slow at least for a bit. Let her dream and fantasize about you until she gets back. Don't go texting her and sending her telegrams. Relax. We are winning. Thanks. We've been playfully talking about things like Seattle (both of us want to eventually move there, she wants to go there on vacation in the Spring next year and would like to bring me along since I lived there for a year), going to Disneyland (I've never gone and she insists on breaking my 'cherry') and running around in the rain (it's been raining here all day, a great setting for us to part on) so there are obviously "plans", if you will.
Sabali Posted November 21, 2010 Posted November 21, 2010 No problem...just resist the temptation of moving too fast. It's great to feel like you are being swept off of your feet but it is not so great when you are being knocked on your @$$ when a fast moving relationship comes to a sudden halt. Always look on the bright side of life. Right?
AverageJoe Posted November 21, 2010 Posted November 21, 2010 1) Stop stalling 2) Make a move 3) ????????? 4) Profit
twinrexes Posted November 21, 2010 Posted November 21, 2010 I agree with the others that you don't have a problem here! Two weeks is nothing, and it gives you both a chance to look forward to getting together again. If anything, you might want to slow it down a little. Don't start moving in with each other or making any big plans yet. You're still in the honeymoon phase.
Author Raderick Posted November 21, 2010 Author Posted November 21, 2010 No problem...just resist the temptation of moving too fast. It's great to feel like you are being swept off of your feet but it is not so great when you are being knocked on your @$$ when a fast moving relationship comes to a sudden halt. Always look on the bright side of life. Right? I like your line of thinking. I'm somewhere in between a realist and an optimist so I'm looking forward to seeing where things go from here.
phineas Posted November 21, 2010 Posted November 21, 2010 No problem...just resist the temptation of moving too fast. It's great to feel like you are being swept off of your feet but it is not so great when you are being knocked on your @$$ when a fast moving relationship comes to a sudden halt. Always look on the bright side of life. Right? I like your line of thinking. I'm somewhere in between a realist and an optimist so I'm looking forward to seeing where things go from here. Missed a lot of that movie huh? LOL!
Author Raderick Posted November 21, 2010 Author Posted November 21, 2010 Missed a lot of that movie huh? LOL! It's a great movie when not pre-occupied with someone else.
Author Raderick Posted November 21, 2010 Author Posted November 21, 2010 I've kinda decided to wait a day or so (Monday night?) before calling her back, I wanna give her a bit of space, but I got all of these thoughts running through my head about her! I still want to talk to her before she goes out of town and get some plans in motion for the next week. In a way I'm glad that this sexual wall was torn down because I'm SUPER shy and now I can be a bit more free natured and start teasing and flirting a lot more.
Author Raderick Posted November 21, 2010 Author Posted November 21, 2010 1) Stop stalling 2) Make a move 3) ????????? 4) Profit The move was Friday night, unless I'm missing something...
Author Raderick Posted November 23, 2010 Author Posted November 23, 2010 So it looks like nothing is going to come out of it, which is disappointing. Seems like she just wanted to use me for sex and move on, which makes me feel like crap because I HATE one night stands. Oh well, moving on.
utterer of lies Posted November 23, 2010 Posted November 23, 2010 So it looks like nothing is going to come out of it, which is disappointing. Seems like she just wanted to use me for sex and move on, which makes me feel like crap because I HATE one night stands. Oh well, moving on. Haha, what? She used you for sex? That's not what happened, according to your own post.
Author Raderick Posted November 23, 2010 Author Posted November 23, 2010 Haha, what? She used you for sex? That's not what happened, according to your own post. She is not responding to my text or phone calls. I don't understand what else could be the reason; maybe she didn't feel the sparks I felt and so be it, but it bugs me that she decides go NC.
Cee Posted November 23, 2010 Posted November 23, 2010 So it looks like nothing is going to come out of it, which is disappointing. Seems like she just wanted to use me for sex and move on, which makes me feel like crap because I HATE one night stands. Oh well, moving on. Wait. What happened? Did she blow you off via phone or something? I realize that probably a few things happened IRL that I'm missing, but you gotta fill us in on the thread. Details, man. Thanks.
Author Raderick Posted November 23, 2010 Author Posted November 23, 2010 Wait. What happened? Did she blow you off via phone or something? I realize that probably a few things happened IRL that I'm missing, but you gotta fill us in on the thread. Details, man. Thanks. Text messages and a phone call went unanswered. I left a VM message saying how I enjoyed Friday night and hoping to schedule something for when she gets back. There really isn't any more "details" other than that, sadly. I don't know what else to say.
Cee Posted November 23, 2010 Posted November 23, 2010 Aww, sorry she completely blew you off. In your initial post, I thought you created a great date and was a little jealous of the girl. I thought it was a no brainer that she liked you based on your post. That girl is a complete idiot.
Author Raderick Posted November 23, 2010 Author Posted November 23, 2010 Aww, sorry she completely blew you off. In your initial post, I thought you created a great date and was a little jealous of the girl. I thought it was a no brainer that she liked you based on your post. That girl is a complete idiot. No big deal (well, except for the sex part, that to me is a huge deal), moving on. I don't plan on having a date for a really long time due to the fact that I have an extreme case of shyness so it's back to square one.
Knittress Posted November 23, 2010 Posted November 23, 2010 (edited) Text messages and a phone call went unanswered. I left a VM message saying how I enjoyed Friday night and hoping to schedule something for when she gets back. There really isn't any more "details" other than that, sadly. I don't know what else to say. K, so I'm probably being naive but I think you might be jumping the gun a bit on this 'she's blowing me off' business. It's what, Tuesday? This all happened Friday/Saturday and you knew she would be busy. I don't even know where my phone IS half the time and sometimes will go for a day or two without looking for it. Granted I'm a weirdo. But you seem a little quirky, and so she must be a little quirky - so maybe you ought to suspend conventional ideas about some areas of relationship. Maybe you could try casually touching base with her again when you know she's available? Edited November 23, 2010 by Knittress
Jannah Posted November 23, 2010 Posted November 23, 2010 Well there's two ways to look at this. One - it was a first date, off a dating website, that involved immediate hanky pankyness. Two, she is out of town like she said, and for whatever reason hasn't responded and/or replied back, yet.
Mme. Chaucer Posted November 23, 2010 Posted November 23, 2010 I've learned from quite a few of my fellow women here on LS that if some of them have sex (or even make out) with a guy and he does not call or text or IM or whatever pretty much IMMEDIATELY with his appreciation and ongoing interest in her, he is thus a "douche." Not saying you are that! But maybe waiting 3 days to contact her had a bad effect? Try a little more before you give up completely. By now, isn't she already out of town?
Author Raderick Posted November 23, 2010 Author Posted November 23, 2010 I've learned from quite a few of my fellow women here on LS that if some of them have sex (or even make out) with a guy and he does not call or text or IM or whatever pretty much IMMEDIATELY with his appreciation and ongoing interest in her, he is thus a "douche." Not saying you are that! But maybe waiting 3 days to contact her had a bad effect? Try a little more before you give up completely. By now, isn't she already out of town? She said she leaves Wednesday for San Francisco. Both of us are different in schedules in that her days off are during the week and works the oddball time shifts, and I work the typical 8-5 Monday-Friday schedule. I'll call her next week just to see if she answers, but I still have my doubts.
Jannah Posted November 23, 2010 Posted November 23, 2010 I've learned from quite a few of my fellow women here on LS that if some of them have sex (or even make out) with a guy and he does not call or text or IM or whatever pretty much IMMEDIATELY with his appreciation and ongoing interest in her, he is thus a "douche." Not saying you are that! But maybe waiting 3 days to contact her had a bad effect? Try a little more before you give up completely. By now, isn't she already out of town? Oh, I misread that part. That might have something to do with it. OP, when did you reach out to her after movie night?
Author Raderick Posted November 23, 2010 Author Posted November 23, 2010 Oh, I misread that part. That might have something to do with it. OP, when did you reach out to her after movie night? We chatted briefly after she left (Saturday) over texts about how bad Southern California drivers are, she went to work, heard nothing since.
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