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How Do I Tell Him I Changed My Mind, I Want That Second Date?

beyondhope

By beyondhope
in Dating

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While the thread author can add an update and reopen discussion, this thread was last posted in over a month ago. Want to continue the conversation? Feel free to start a new thread instead!

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xpaperxcutx Established Member

xpaperxcutx

Posted
Posted (edited)

I certainly wouldn't take someone seriously if they were seeing someone else as well. And casually seeing someone? No way am I putting in money for dates when another guy is getting sex for free.

 

There goes your assumption again that everybody's sleeping around. Where in this thread did the OP stated she slept with another guy? She does not own anybody any obligations. You should have just worded things differently- if she wants respect from him, she should earn it. Likewise for the other party.

 

Please stop implementing your little dogma and one-sided logic into this. You're not being helpful at all.

 

 

 

OP, I think if you really want to date this guy, you should go for it. I'm a person who firmly believes in action speaks louder than words. The chances of him turning you down is 50-50.

 

If you're not afraid of rejection you're doing good.

 

I also don't agree with some of the posters who suggested this is an ego thing. Dating is all about chances and hits and misses. If everyone is so obstinate about keeping their pride, they're probably going to always strike out.

Edited by xpaperxcutx
Mad Max Established Member

Mad Max

Posted
Posted
There goes your assumption again that everybody's sleeping around. Where in this thread did the OP stated she slept with another guy? She does not own anybody any obligations. You should have just worded things differently- if she wants respect from him, she should earn it. Likewise for the other party.

 

Please stop implementing your little dogma and one-sided logic into this. You're not being helpful at all.

 

 

Where did I say that everyone sleeps around? OP said she's casually seeing someone else. In the future, don't refute anything I say unless it can be backed up with empirical proof. Thanks.

xpaperxcutx Established Member

xpaperxcutx

Posted
Posted
Where did I say that everyone sleeps around? OP said she's casually seeing someone else. In the future, don't refute anything I say unless it can be backed up with empirical proof. Thanks.

 

Unless you were actually a witness to the OP's supposed indiscretions I don't see how this would even apply to her -

 

No way am I putting in money for dates when another guy is getting sex for free

 

 

I'm taking the words of the OP at face value. I'm not going to jump to conclusions I don't know.

Star Gazer Established Member

Star Gazer

Posted
Posted
Where did I say that everyone sleeps around? OP said she's casually seeing someone else.

 

I certainly wouldn't take someone seriously if they were seeing someone else as well. And casually seeing someone? No way am I putting in money for dates when another guy is getting sex for free.

 

She said she was casually SEEING someone, and you jumped to the conclusion that seeing someone meant she was sleeping with him.

 

The "sex for free" part is also kinda funny. Who's to say he's not putting money into dates too, assuming he's even having sex with her?

 

You just keep on jumping to conclusions, Max. Do your thang.

Mad Max Established Member

Mad Max

Posted
Posted
Unless you were actually a witness to the OP's supposed indiscretions I don't see how this would even apply to her -

 

 

 

 

I'm taking the words of the OP at face value. I'm not going to jump to conclusions I don't know.

 

 

Then we might as well assume every female poster is 400 pound guy sitting in front of his computer all day since we've never met any of the posters in real life. People like to cover up activities that they know they shouldn't be participating in or activites that don't make them look all that well. If someone is "casually" dating someone, there's a good chance sex is involved. You call it depressive realism, I call it reality.

Star Gazer Established Member

Star Gazer

Posted
Posted
If someone is "casually" dating someone, there's a good chance sex is involved. You call it depressive realism, I call it reality.

 

No, actually... there's not. I have casually dated several people since I broke up with Skiman, and I haven't slept with ANY of them.

 

Take posts at face value, please.

PhillyDude Established Member

PhillyDude

Posted
Posted
No, actually... there's not. I have casually dated several people since I broke up with Skiman, and I haven't slept with ANY of them.

 

Take posts at face value, please.

 

 

What is the defintion of casual dating?

xpaperxcutx Established Member

xpaperxcutx

Posted
Posted
Then we might as well assume every female poster is 400 pound guy sitting in front of his computer all day since we've never met any of the posters in real life. People like to cover up activities that they know they shouldn't be participating in or activites that don't make them look all that well. If someone is "casually" dating someone, there's a good chance sex is involved. You call it depressive realism, I call it reality.

 

This is an anonymous forum, if people want to omit certain information, we can't stop them. And it certainly doesn't give us an excuse to jump down their throat and brand them with a scarlet letter.

 

Also this is an advice forum. Last time I heard, advices are suppose to be constructive, not dogmatic.

dispatch3d Established Member

dispatch3d

Posted
Posted
OP, just ask him: "Hey are you still up for getting together again?"

 

If he asks why you changed your mind just say:

 

"A girl's entitled to change her mind."

 

I like the first sentence here. If you want to be all cool-writing like then do it in your writing, but say essentially that. I would like to get together again.

 

As for the reason why. I wouldn't tell him you are "entitled" to anything. I cringed a little. If he asks why just say you were really really busy with school at the time, and because it was an hour drive you didn't want to semi-commit. Do not blame him or anything he said/did/whatever at all. Do not mention that. He'll take offense!

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beyondhope Member

beyondhope

Posted
  • Author
Posted

Thanks, y'all. I have to agree with the posters that said to take the chance. I will be hurt if he says no, but I will understand. No one is obligated to do anything in this situation, but the only other alternative is to sit on my hands and do nothing...in which case I may miss a chance at getting to know someone I like.

 

To the side conversation going on in this thread, since we're all anon, I will tell you that my "casually seeing someone" means that I have gone out to coffee a few times with a guy who has similar interests. I don't plan on sleeping with any of these men until well after I'm in a committed relationship with one of them, when we can get tested for STD's together and have a sincere conversation about sex.

 

Am I a 400-pound dude? No. I'm a young woman who, judging by the amount of attention I get in real life and my common sense, wit, education and physical fitness, would be what you dudes call a "9" (that's out of ten). So, FYI, a good catch isn't just looking for sex, because we could get it anywhere. We're looking for honesty, sincerity and most importantly a good match. There's no game playing allowed, and that means we don't play games either :)

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