Counseling Breakthrough...

[stopthemadness]

Hello all you Loveshackers. Those of you who know my story, know Ive been broke up for about a month now. But he was on a" break" for a few months before that. During his break from us I guess? He met and started seeing someone else! Really didnt see it comming just loved him soo much.We were together 81/2 years off and on. Well during the last few weeks sence Ive found out about her, Ive been a big mess! The whole nine, not sleeping, not eating ,crying all of it! Within a week of him telling me about "her" I started seeing a therapist. I knew I really needed it if I had any chance of getting through this. As we've been on breaks before and both dated other people during our breaks but we always got back together! Iam done doing this! and all this maddness has to stop!! I know its bad, but ive been emailing him like once a week then we talk on the phone for a bit for the last 3 weeks. My therapist says not to beat myself up for this because he takes my calls and it seems like hes trying to be nice and help me through this. Ive had no contact sence Tueday. On Thursday I went to see my therapist. When I left there I was mad! Mad because something happened that day during counseling. And NOW I get it! We are over! he wants to move on and try things with someone new! And like it or not? Thats whats going to happen!! So yes after all these years! Ive come to the realization that we are over! (it feels a little sad just to type that) Ive been keeping a journal these last 3 or so weeks and it seems to help. Mostly I write in it when I cant sleep. My therapist says I seem stronger to her now then when she first met me a few weeks ago and thats Good(smile) I like that to her am getting stronger. Truth be told I do feel stronger. I have to be home(not working) for the next 6 months. Because of some medical issues and that sucks . Am soo bored, But am doing chemotherapy so sometimes days of not feeling well is when I want to reach out to "him".My familys been great and are there for me. My plan is to continue going to counseling at least untell am done with chemo and can go back to work and get out more. So to everyone going through this. Counseling does help if you let it. Today is 4 days of N/C and counting!! I will no longer allow myself to be Plan B for this man!!! Feeling SOO much better and stronger. One day, One week then one month at a time!! I can do this. Untell next time....