quick Posted November 20, 2010 Posted November 20, 2010 My girlfriend and I have been together 3 years. 1 year we were an hour apart because she lived in a college town which she pretty much wasted her whole two years there. The other year and a half she lived at home which was 2 1/2 hours away so she would drive up every weekend to see me. When she was living at home she would always say how tired she was of living at home how much she missed me and was ready to move up here. Well she moved up here back in july and has only seen her friends and family about twice since she has lived up here. She doesnt have any friends besides the ppl she works with and when she goes to school and she stays busy with work and school so when shes not doing that she is with me which has made us spend too much time together. This past weekend she went out of town to North Carolina to visit a friend she hasnt seen in awhile. I do not know what the future holds for my girlfriend and I, however, I do plan to stay true to my love for her and not wait on her, but put my love life on hold and pray she comes back. I know at this point there is nothing that can be done on my end that will change her mind nor bring her back. These past three days have been HELL for me. I didnt know exactly what was going on until I got the strength up to text her to just say I love you. She text back and said I love you too with all my heart. I followed her message asking her to be open with me and tell me whats going on, because I spend my night and day puzzled trying to figure out what had brought this on, did I do something, are there people in her ear saying hey you dont need this you need to move on. She said that she wasnt sure if she wanted to be with me forever. She stated that it had nothing to do with her going to North Carolina she felt like this before. I then said why didnt you talk to me so we could both work this out instead of being cold to me and acting as if I did you harm in this situation. I havent been cold to you she replys. I then told her to go back and look at how short and rude she has been to me. It was then that she realized how cold she had been. After that I didnt text her back. I was just simply giving her space and hoping me not texting her back and giving her time would make her grow to miss me and realize what we had. Of course my main concern was that there was some other man taking my woman. That had been my concern the whole time. Shortly after I did not text back she sent me a message saying are you in class. I said no. She then said o well I was going to get you to take this book that is due back today because I dont feel like driving to Florence. I then said is that your way of trying to see me. She says no, I just didnt feel like driving to Florence and if you were in class I was going to meet you and give you the book after that I didnt say anything back. My first mind was telling me ok, she really wants to see you, or else she wouldnt have asked you. Then I would flash back to reality and think to myself no she might just be being lazy and not want to come to Florence. I then meet a couple of my friends to help them find suits. As I am out with them I receive a text from her saying I am going to be at home in December to work at the UPS store. I then said do you plan to move back home? She says yes. My heart quickly sank to my knees. I was speechless I didnt know what to do so I said would you mind having lunch with me tomorrow? She says no. I then say dont think that its going to be me trying to get you to stay in Jackson and with me, I would really just like to have a regular lunch and talk. "Where" she replyed. I said a mexican restraunt she says I dont want mexican. Then I said Ok Ruby Tuesdays she then says ok well I will let you know tomorrow if I can make it. Again my hearts takes a dive. It was then that this was becoming a reality and i really started to feel I am losing her. The rest of the time im out my eyes are filled with tears but I had to push them back in. As I was riding home the tears began to flow. I get inside my mom is sitting on the couch and I lose it. I kept repeating I cant beleive im losing this battle. After I began to pull myself together I gain a little strength and I get on FB and remember what one of my friends told me. He said you need to take the relationship status off because she is basicly controling you. She has the power and is stringing you along. I go in and take the relationship off. I then feel a sense of comfort that everything is going to be alright. People began to ask me what happend, people on my end are sad...but then I make the mistake of taking a look at her FB page. I saw she had taken a few of our pictures off, she had changed her profile pic to a pic of her before she went out saturday, she made a status basicly saying how excited she was to go home which is understandable, she misses her friends and her family. The feeling of progress faded away after awhile. I began to get sad and wonder if she was hurting about this like I was. When I get home I noticed she didnt even say anything about me taking it off. I get in my bed and "try" to go to sleep. I make the mistake of texting Lesley her sister on fb and letting her know I was sorry about things etc...Lesley says she wasnt under the impression it was your fault. Once I began falling asleep I get a text message saying. I cant go to lunch tomorrow sorry. Then I said I figured you would cancel. She then says "How"? I said because you want the life you had before me back. She then said what does that mean. I reply because no one can just get rid of someone they love and have been with for 3 years for no reason. Then she replys "all your doin is tryin to make me feel bad and get back with you". Then I say Feel bad? No. Its clear you dont want me. Then she says how is that? Then I reply you tell me why if its not like that. She says I did nothing to make you feel like that. I then say im sure you havent shed a tear. She says sure. I gotta go, bye. Then I began to give her a spill saying you know I never wanted this and explaining how I felt. Before I can even send my message she sends me a messaying saying "You know what your right I dont want anything to do with you Im moving home as soon as possible to go ahead and move on it will be super easy for you to find someone else have a nice life. I tell her how rough my day has been how hard it has been for me and my crying sessions. She says I dont put my emotions out there for anyone to see especially you. At this point I am confused to hell and back. What would make someone be so cold to who they "Love"? I then let her know that I never made her move up here it was her choice. I felt that she wanted to be closer to me so I was ok with her making the move. She did all the research for schools and a living situation all on her own. I then asked her if she loves me she says yes, I told you a million times. Then I said well atleast give me the respect of talking to me on the phone if you love me you will. She says no. I said why not its not like I have done anything to you. She says I dont want to. Then she says we souldnt even be texting this time was to be apart and not talk and I think your gonna make it worse by trying to talk to me what if I take 2,3 or 4 months what are you gonna do? Then I ask her be real are you wanting another guy or anything. She says no I have told you a million times but you didnt have any problem taking it off facebook. I explained to her my reasoning behind that. Then I asked "what are you telling people? You are telling me that this is a break like were going to get back together". She says "same thing". I ask well are we? She says I hope but what if I need a few months what are you going to do. Then she says are you gonna answer my question or not. She then says im not gonna get close enough to a guy to have to tell him my sexual personal information, I want this time for me. I then ask well why do you have to be cold towards me. She replys shes not. Then she finally comes out and says " I did you wrong, im selfish, and its not fair to you. I ask how. She says I danced at the bar with a guy and kissed him to. I actually wasnt in alot of pain from this it hurt but I was kinda numb. Then I asked what kinda kiss she says tounge then says I dont wanna be with anybody else just not sure if your what I want. I asked do you still talk to him she says no didnt give him my number. She then text me and says "u done"? I then get very detailed with her and went down the list of things that she had forgotten that I have been through with her. Times when I would have to rush to where she was staying at the time which was an hour from me to take her to the doctor because her friends wouldnt. Just basicly saying things from my heart and letting her know how I truely felt and to realize its not about me trying to keep her here I was just explaining how I felt. It was a LONG message and I beleive it got to her because afterwards she didnt respond in a smartass way. I asked how she felt she said I dont know. I didnt text her back I tried to fall asleep. Well my mom woke up in the middle of the night and said the situation was tearing her apart she started to cry because she knew I was hurting she knew my girlfriend was hurting and didnt want neither one of us to suffer. So she sends my girlfriend a message letting her know that she is sorry for what were going through and she wants to see us happy and would love to see us happy together and didnt want her to lead me on because from her angle she thats what she saw because I have told her what was going on each time something happened. My girlfriend sent me a message this morning basicly telling me to move on because I got my mom thinking she is leading me on and shes not she just loves me and wants me but is confused right now. Prior to my gf texting me my mom woke me up after she sent the text and told me. I told her to text her and let her know that she is sorry for sending the message even though there was nothing mean nor hurtful in it but I knew my gf would take it wrong. I replyed to my gf's message saying Im sorry she texted you. Then She says im not mad that she text me. She sent another message saying do you understand I want a few months to figure out what I want etc...I then text her and expressed my feelings about her and dating another guy. She says im not doing this to get other guys at all, I may talk to other guys but thats all I will do. Im not trying to hook up with or date other guys. Well this confused me because this past weekend she kissed another guy. Then I expressed that I felt she was just going to forget about me and our love. She said thats impossible, I already know your hurt, I hurt too I layed there and cried for hours last night (which honestly I doubted to myself at first). I then said I just dont understand, if Suzanne is a true friend and likes me and loves us being together why didnt she atleast say hey you shouldnt be kissing other guys thats wrong or atleast show some support. My gf then said She was dancing with someone when it happended and we didnt talk about it. I have to be honest I think that is pure bull****, no true friend stands by and let their "friend" cheat and not say a word. I then told her I feel like nobody but me will look at the things you have done the past few years, sit you down and say look some of these things are not right. It does not look good to have tons and tons of guy friends while you have a boyfriend. It does not look good that everytime you turn around you have a different guy. I then said im sorry I should not be talking to you like that it is your life and if you want to live that life style which has brought you nothing but problems and unahppiness then that is on you. She says your right about all of that, but I knew right when I kissed that guy I made a mistake. Then I said from what you have told me you put yourself in a position to make those mistakes. I encourage you to use what happened with Adam and Eve as an example. If you allow yourself to be tempted by what you know is not right you will fall into the trap everytime. God is between us thats whats holding me here in your life...I mean what guy in there right mind would even be fighting at this point most guys would have left after the first lie. The devil is holding apples in your face right now and its sad to say but your tasting each one of them that is what makes you question us. I honestly beleive if you didnt put yourself in situations to get tempted or were a stronger in those situations we would be fine. She then replys "ok". Then said I will be praying for you, I love you with all my heart Good bye. She replys "Thanks". I then said so are you going to go on dates and get interested in guys. She then says I just told u 5 minutes ago that im not doing this to get other guys or nothing so stop bein so worried about me getting with another guy. I didnt reply to the next few messages she sent which were ok! and ?. Then I said the only thing I ask is that you do not make me look like the bad guy to everybody be honest and let them know the truth. She says "I Havent" I didnt reply to the next few things she said which were ...Hello??? ,What are you doing?, ??,Hellooooooooo?????, Why r u ignoring me?, Hellooooo????, ???, ?!,hello, Answer me, I need to ****in tell u somethin will u text back now please damn. At this point I am confused to hell in back. Im thinking ok you need some time to yourself and thats what im giving you. Why are you blowing me up and concerened about what im doing. I dont want to mistake her curiousity for love and wanting to talk to me and looking at it as a good thing. So I reply back can you call me if its bad news dont even tell me I dont want to hurt anymore. She replys no its not bad news I wanted to tell you that u need to try to move on. Im not trying to make you wait on me go ahead and start doing your own thing. Then I said ok im going to call you. She said I will answer but will not say anything so I go ahead and call her. I began to tell her how I feel so she can hear my voice She starts texting me replys to what im verbally saying. Her first reply was Its not because of what happened this weekend and its not because I want to do whatever with a guy, I did wanna move up here but now I dont like it, What if when we get married I dont want to live here I want to live in OS.I dont think there is any guy that can treat me like u can, im not trying to get involved with anyone, im not in a dream I know what kinda pain your in. Im not trying to see if the grass in greener on the other side i really just wanna be alone and figure out if I want you forever, IM NOT DOING THIS TO BE WITH OTHER GUYS, I dont understand why u think im gonna hook up with guys cause im not. I could here her began to cry and I said I know you are crying and dont want me to know. I told her where we live is not an issue I could care less. I will be able to get a job at any hospital pretty much its really going to depend on where you get a teaching job. I said now you are the one that seems happy you changing your facebook pic, taking some of my pics off and updating your status as soon as I take the relationship off like you are so happy. She replys I did that because I was mad. The convo went on more but it was so damn confusing her wanting a break but then wanting to talk. I beleive that the girl that I feel in love with is still there I can see her peaking out at times. I think a combination of her being lonely when not with me because she doesnt have many friends, she and I spending ALOT of time together and her having a couple bad influences. I know there is not much I can do about any of those factors. She is always going to have her friends. My gf and I have had some serious talks about what she wanted to do and she has told me she wasted 2 years in the college town she was going to because she didnt get anything done. She just followed her friends up there and now everybody is somewhat moving on with their lives and she feels like ****...those were her words. She told me I make her a better person and if I didnt come into her life then she honestly doesnt know where she would be. Im sure many her friends have no intentions of steering her bad but I would think that somebody would sit her down and let her know that some of the ways she is living her life arent right. I never pressured her to make any choice she has made in her past. All I have wanted since day one was honesty. Now there have been times where I talked to females and didnt tell her in the past but never cheated on her and she knows that. Even now I have gotten rid of my female friends and and only have 1 whom I have been friends with since high school. I mean women do want me and I have no problem turning them down.This has been a rough road for me but when I see her face and hug her all goes out of the window. Now in my head what I have been thinking is when she goes home sees her family, sees her friends gets back in that same old routine she was in 20+ years of her life she is going to began to miss me, she will start to wonder what am I doing. All of her friends have significant others who they have been with for years so she will start to feel like the extra wheel when they dont want to hangout because they are spending time with that person. Plus she made the statement that she is not going to get involved with anybody beyond conversation. There is one factor that we found out a few months into us dating that she would most def. have to tell someone before she went any further than kissing with them and 9 times out of 10 the guy will run. Which is why she says she is not going past conversation. I think me kinda slacking on the romance, not putting alot of effort into the relationship as before, on top of her being lonely because she has no friends up here and hasnt seen her family. I think those are all factors that contributed to this which will make her want to be with me again once she gets what she has been missing. So she just began to blame the relationship for her unhappiness. Could someone shed some light on this for me please. I would like to know if im looking at the solution the wrong way.
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