brentmused Posted November 20, 2010 Posted November 20, 2010 I posted on here about a month ago about splitting with my girlfriend after 11 years and I want to update on this. I feel worse :-( we work with each other on a daily basis and my job is good and better paid than I could get in another job. I have not been able to let go and we have both been very sad, I just cannot stop begging her or texting her things even so she says that she is one hundred percent sure this is what she wants and that we will never be together again. A week ago I was texting her and she was very vague, almost as if she couldn't text back. I tried ringing the home phone and I told her I was ringing it and she texted that she had turned the ringer off. I had a sleepless night with things running through my mind, so the next morning at six, I went past the house and saw that the car wasn't there. Anyway, after 60 or so unanswered texts and calls the next day asking where she had been, she confessed that she had started seeing someone else and said she really didn't want me to find out as she knew it would make me feel a hundred times worse. She was right. Later that night I got myself drunk, bought a load of tablets and was ready to end it all. I had even checked online to see how many to take. I had even written my name and address on a piece of paper and put it in my back pocket so when I was found in the park they would know who I was, I backed out at the very last minute. Christmas is coming and I'm dreading it as it was my favourite time of the year, when we were happiest and I loved seeing her happy. I am struggling like hell, everytime I see her at work I get sad and emotional. The thought of her with someone else after 11 years totally destroys me, especially when I thought all my dreams, hopes and future would be shared with her. Now I have to see the doctor on monday and tell him I'm severely depressed :-( sorry for burdening you all with this but I don't know what to do next
Fern Posted November 20, 2010 Posted November 20, 2010 You need to go see a doctor and tell him how bad you are feeling. There is no shame in this. My doctor gave me beta blockers to help me to cope in work after my split. I was having anxiety/panic attacks and kept crying and stuff. Take whatever he tells you for as long as he tells you. I would also ask him about the possibility of some counselling. You need to talk what happened through with someone. You need to get a handle on it and work through it. If you have holidays to take from work - or can afford to take some unpaid leave - I would do that too. But don't waste that time off. Use it to develop some hobbies, meet up with old friends, go on a trip - do something constructive, no matter how much you don't feel like doing anything. You CAN get through this. Go see your doctor. And find someone this weekend, a friend or family member who will listen while you talk about what has happened. All the very best wishes to you. You WILL get through this.
tobydog Posted November 20, 2010 Posted November 20, 2010 My heart goes out to you, I am in the same situation. I just fell to pieces and had 4 weeks off work. I went to the Docs and got some anti depressants and they have really helped and a few diazepam if I really cannot shaking they can calm me down. On a night I take some herbal stuff to get me to sleep. Seeing a therapist too. It is the most heartbreaking thing to go through....but 9 and a half weeks later, I am back at school and doing ok tho still immensely sad as he has cut all ties with me and his 4 yo son. All I can think is well it is HIS loss and he will regret this one day. We were together 14 years. He has lost his house, dogs and new car too so he will be the loser. I hope you can stay strong, these feelings of total despair will pass but I guess seeing her daily does not help. Can you not try to move jobs? Or at least start applying? I would as it will mean you can move on quicker. I haven't seen him for 2 weeks and it really does help me. Take care and be strong x
Singlejohn Posted November 20, 2010 Posted November 20, 2010 I understand your situation, I still have to see our son and try to pick him up as much as I can throughout the week, you can always think of it like you can change jobs perhaps but I will always have to see my ex. Try to be strong in this roughy time of your life. I have up and downs within a day, but I try keep busy. I too have seen the docs and I'm awaiting to be contacted by counselling . But just remember what you feel now will not be the same further down the road to recovery. People, many many people go through this in their lives and come out happier. I tell this to myself awaiting the time i will also be happier
Author brentmused Posted November 20, 2010 Author Posted November 20, 2010 I hope so, I just spend my whole day crying at the moment and can't get the thought of her with someone else out of my mind. I don't want to be so pathetic in front of her, I just want to be strong and show her that I am coping.she knows what I'm going through and hopefully the doc will help. Anyone want an emotional but very loving 39 year old english boyfriend lol
Author brentmused Posted November 20, 2010 Author Posted November 20, 2010 Thanks for that tobydog, helps to know there's other people like me. Fancy a date lol x
melenkurion Posted November 21, 2010 Posted November 21, 2010 Please talk to your doctor. I really can understand how awful it is when they start seeing someone else. It feels like the end of happiness. But: it got better for me, from those depths. Do whatever you need to get through this, call the Samaritans even if you can't tell your friends. I did, they helped so much. See your GP, you really need to.
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