I just realized, I'm actually a bit nervous and a little bit scared.

[durkadurka]

Next Friday, I have a reservation at the Bellagio, a 5 star hotel in Vegas, and I'm meeting my ex there. She's flying in from out of town, and I'm going to meet her.

 

This is on the tail of her saying that she missed me, regrets what she did, that most of it was motivated by the fact she wanted to get over me. That being said, she's seeing someone.

 

I'm going out on a limb here and didn't really afford myself the luxury of thinking about th risk that I'm taking. But it's dawned on me, I'm really nervous.

 

Hopefully I don't **** this up. If it goes to hell in a hand basket, I have no doubt in my mind I will never talk to her again, so this is really it.

[Eternity001]

I'm due to meet up with my ex on Monday to hang out after almost a year of not seeing her.

 

Fair to say I'm ****ting myself also, who knows whats will happen but I figure I need to get it done and out of the way because the way I feel at the moment isn't overly healthy either. Missing her, thinking I made a mistake etc.

[nanana]

Ahh, the Bellagio - nice choice! Make sure you watch the fountains together, will be very romantic Just go and try and have fun, make her realise what she has been missing. Don't make the mistakes I made with my dumper and expect too much too soon in the way of getting back together.

 

And Eternity, you always sound a lot like my dumper. I remember reading your thread about how you blew her off, but then suddenly started thinking about her a lot again - my dumper did the exact same thing and came back into my life. However, he didn't take into account the fact that months of ignoring me had made me feel like he didn't care for me, and therefore turned me very clingy. You may notice the same happens with your ex. Instead of just blowing her off again, reassure her. She deserves that.

[bleeg]

durka durka, full of fail! Good luck meeting with a girl like that.

[WTRanger]

I wish you luck, but this has collapse written all over it. She's been so hot and cold with you according to your past posts. You yourself are so hot and cold with her. One week she's a devil bitch, one week you feel sorry, one week you want nothing to do with her, one week you are meeting her in Vegas.

 

Of course she wants to meet in Vegas. She wants to see if she can still steer you around by the ho-joes like a sissy chump. It also sounds as if you are willing to settle for friends. You haven't established why you are going there. Friends? More? 2nd Chance? Epic stand-up?

 

Keep us posted to how this goes. It should be memorable as you've said.

 

Remember this post? Do you really think the Vegas trip will be any different?

 

My ex capitalized on the loyalty and faith that I have to the people that I cared about it.

 

She used my trip down to visit her as a vehicle to relieve her guilt, and to justify her actions. She did it so that she could validate to herself that what I did wasn't enough.

 

Seriously, it was a waste, especially knowing she would never do the same for me.

[durkadurka]

I wish you luck, but this has collapse written all over it. She's been so hot and cold with you according to your past posts. You yourself are so hot and cold with her. One week she's a devil bitch, one week you feel sorry, one week you want nothing to do with her, one week you are meeting her in Vegas.

 

Of course she wants to meet in Vegas. She wants to see if she can still steer you around by the ho-joes like a sissy chump. It also sounds as if you are willing to settle for friends. You haven't established why you are going there. Friends? More? 2nd Chance? Epic stand-up?

 

Keep us posted to how this goes. It should be memorable as you've said.

 

Remember this post? Do you really think the Vegas trip will be any different?

 

 

I did establish we weren't going as friends. Told her I couldn't promise her friendship, couldn't promise I wouldn't make a pass at her so if she's expecting anything different we shouldn't go.

 

The difference from that post and now is that she's initiated it. She's the one who offered to fly up near to where I live to come and visit. Instead, we compromised and we're meeting somewhere in the middle.

[WTRanger]

The only compromise you should have made is for her to come see you. Not in the middle and not booking one of the nicer hotels in Vegas. That's not a compromise at all. That's her going "Cha-Ching! I've still got him hooked!" Tell me this, is she still seeing the other guy? I thought you were going to decline the position of being her cuddle bitch?

 

The fact is, you didn't establish anything. You aren't going there to make up, you left it open ended. You used vague terms. Anything less than you telling her up front that, "We are going as a couple." is just you willing to settle for her crumbs. She's paying for one plane ticket, or are you covering that along with the rest of the bill?

 

You are putting yourself out there and I respect that, but I wouldn't go all out like you are. No way would I book the Bellagio unless it was 100% established we are going as a couple. Even then, that's just her milking your bank account. Rather than make up as people, you are trying to make her miss you spending money on her. She doesn't miss you as a person, she misses your money. Unfortunately, you've got to continue to fail until you finally see that. When you brought up that you weren't going as friends, has she ever responded to that message? Your other post just ends there.

 

The last thing you've posted is her telling you this

 

She says 'I think I want to go as friends, I know you've worked really hard at moving on, I don't want you to get depressed when we go our separate ways, if you can do that, then we can go.'

 

Where do you get that you two are going to make up from a statement like that? What reality are you in?

Edited November 20, 2010 by WTRanger

[durkadurka]

The only compromise you should have made is for her to come see you. Not in the middle and not booking one of the nicer hotels in Vegas. That's not a compromise at all. That's her going "Cha-Ching! I've still got him hooked!" Tell me this, is she still seeing the other guy? I thought you were going to decline the position of being her cuddle bitch?

The fact is, you didn't establish anything. You aren't going there to make up, you left it open ended. You used vague terms. Anything less than you telling her up front that, "We are going as a couple." is just you willing to settle for her crumbs. She's paying for one plane ticket, or are you covering that along with the rest of the bill?

 

You are putting yourself out there and I respect that, but I wouldn't go all out like you are. No way would I book the Bellagio unless it was 100% established we are going as a couple. Even then, that's just her milking your bank account. Rather than make up as people, you are trying to make her miss you spending money on her. She doesn't miss you as a person, she misses your money. Unfortunately, you've got to continue to fail until you finally see that. When you brought up that you weren't going as friends, has she ever responded to that message? Your other post just ends there.

 

The last thing you've posted is her telling you this

 

 

 

Where do you get that you two are going to make up from a statement like that? What reality are you in?

 

Trying to define parameters for a trip is a recipe for disaster, but I certainly know where you are coming from.

 

I initially declined this.

 

The reality is she could have gone with anyone else, and she chose to go with me. I told her I was going to nail her when I was down there as a part of the redefining going as friends process and she said she couldn't wait.

 

So...

 

Edit: For the record, it was as cheap for me to stay at the bellagio as it was for me to stay at a 3* hotel, I got a GREAT deal, otherwise I had other plans.

 

Edit 2: Sorry, I was super busy and I never updated it. She took 2 days to get back to me about it, I assume she was thinking about it. Eventually, she called saying she was incredibly busy and she didn't want me to think she was ignoring me. She came back with an emphatic yes and said that message I sent her was perfect, and that she would love to go.

Edited November 20, 2010 by durkadurka

[WTRanger]

Is she still with the new guy? Hopefully she isn't going to bring him along, that would suuuuuuuuuuck or you are just a weekend fling for her.

 

I certainly wish you luck and I hope it goes well. I also hope you aren't building this up in your head, as hard as it is not to, only to have the great castle in the sky crumble under the assault of reality.

 

From all of your posts, this girl has been the bane of your existence to the love of your life. I really hope you get some solid answers next weekend.

[Eternity001]

And Eternity, you always sound a lot like my dumper. I remember reading your thread about how you blew her off, but then suddenly started thinking about her a lot again - my dumper did the exact same thing and came back into my life. However, he didn't take into account the fact that months of ignoring me had made me feel like he didn't care for me, and therefore turned me very clingy. You may notice the same happens with your ex. Instead of just blowing her off again, reassure her. She deserves that.

 

Thanks for that, I've never ignored her but no, I've never followed through on anything either (meeting up with her etc) until now or initiated contact with her.

 

I'm not quite sure what you mean by reassure her, if you could possibly elaborate? I'm pretty sure she's moved on from me emotionally despite some of the stuff she's said to me in the past few weeks. Either that or she's reserving herself a little.

[durkadurka]

Is she still with the new guy? Hopefully she isn't going to bring him along, that would suuuuuuuuuuck or you are just a weekend fling for her.

 

I certainly wish you luck and I hope it goes well. I also hope you aren't building this up in your head, as hard as it is not to, only to have the great castle in the sky crumble under the assault of reality.

 

From all of your posts, this girl has been the bane of your existence to the love of your life. I really hope you get some solid answers next weekend.

 

Hah no she is not bringing the guy along, and she said she wanted to visit me and was willing to fly closer to me, I suggested Vegas because it was in the middle and is warm. We are going through a significant cold snap up here.

 

It was not until yesterday when I started to be intimidated by this and I plan on playing it fairly nonchalant while giving her a LOT to think about.

[WTRanger]

Hah no she is not bringing the guy along, and she said she wanted to visit me and was willing to fly closer to me, I suggested Vegas because it was in the middle and is warm. We are going through a significant cold snap up here.

 

It was not until yesterday when I started to be intimidated by this and I plan on playing it fairly nonchalant while giving her a LOT to think about.

 

Let's try this for the 3rd time. Is she still with the guy? No more avoiding the question.

[durkadurka]

Last time I talked to her, yes she was seeing him, but she said there is no way she would stop her from doing what she wanted to do.

[WTRanger]

I just hope you come out on the right side of this little love triangle.

 

It's not going to stop you, but is this the kind of person you want? If she's willing to screw him over with you, she'll screw you over with someone else.

[durkadurka]

I just hope you come out on the right side of this little love triangle.

 

It's not going to stop you, but is this the kind of person you want? If she's willing to screw him over with you, she'll screw you over with someone else.

 

She went 2.5 years without screwing me over.

 

But thank you, I really appreciate your best wishes. I`ve done my best to answer that question myself, and what I see next weekend will be really informative.