Questionable1 Posted November 20, 2010 Posted November 20, 2010 I've been using OLD sites for almost a year now and have gone on so many dates with lots of men that I'm losing track of all the names. But a couple of weeks ago, I met a guy that is soooo much different from all the rest and my exes. I can't even come up with the words to describe how he makes me feel inside. We have so much in common, same values and goals in life, the chemistry is excellent, and with the differences we do have, we seem to complement each other very well. He is A-MAY-ZING. I can honestly say that I've never felt this way about a guy before. I had a boyfriend a while back that I was sure I was going to marry, but I didn't even feel this way about him. Like I said, I wish I could describe this feeling, but hopefully some people here know what I'm talking about. Anyway, we've only been on 3 dates (in case anyone is wondering, we have not had sex) and I know that lots of things can change. I need to protect myself from getting my hopes up. How can I do this? These feelings and emotions are so foreign to me. Any advice?
D-Lish Posted November 20, 2010 Posted November 20, 2010 Just keep your wits about you. I am in the same boat. I have been seeing someone for a week and a half and I just think he is awesome. I am just trying to play it cool. Sometimes the chemistry is right, and it's very hard to deny it.
Surrealist Posted November 20, 2010 Posted November 20, 2010 Probably time and realisation will help bring you down out of the clouds and dissipate strong feelings of infatuation. Nothing inherently wrong with it though, it just isn't real over the long term. How you transition and grow from the honeymoon stage into a more mature stage of the relationship will be more about you and your partner's treatment of each other, not a feeling based on any fantasy of sorts.
Arasae Posted November 20, 2010 Posted November 20, 2010 I need to protect myself from getting my hopes up. Are you sure? I suspect I'm in the minority on this site, but... My vote is that you feel your feelings, girl! It's better than bottling them up and pretending they don't exist! I am a firm believer that, if something is meant to be, it'll work out. Whether that's fate or simple compatibility, I don't really care; either way, it still works. If it's not meant to be, then it simply won't, no matter what you do (be that days from now or years--better to find out sooner rather than later, right?)! So just be yourself--feelings included--from the beginning. I've had three experiences with this: the first, after about the third date, I thought the guy was my soul mate. I felt my feelings and they were glorious! Four and a half months later, it crashed and burned and was totally awful because he turned out to be a total jerk, but because I let myself be so excited, I still do have some really amazing memories of him. The second, I was really excited about someone, but didn't want to come on too strong (because I, like you, didn't want to get too hurt if I got too excited again). So, I tried to hide what I was feeling. The result? I ended up feeling more and more crazy and acting out of character, constantly second guessing myself, staring maniacly at my phone, and eventually altering who I was to try and not show how excited I was about him. It was way, way more awful than the first time around because, worst of all, I didn't like myself when I was with him because I couldn't just BE. The third, I was super super excited! He was awesome! And, after much talking to one of my friends after the last guy I was super excited about, I just decided to be myself, including letting him know how I was feeling. If a guy can't handle me when I'm happy, bubbly, enthusiastic, and overall thrilled, what the heck will he be like when I'm at my worst? Guess what? He reciprocated. He let me know how excited he was to see me, called me just as much as I called him, and wanted to spend just as much time with me as I did him. I'm still with him; it's been five months, so who really knows where it's going, but so far, it's working really, really well. Guy # 1's behavior changed drastically in the first month; my current guy is still the man I met initially. It's awesome. I vote you get excited because if you're not going to feel the full extent of the butterflies early on and you end up marrying this guy, when will you? It's sooo much harder to feel that later on and happens fewer and far between later, so eat it up now, and if you two are compatible, then hey--it'll be just that much more awesome.
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