lovebitme Posted November 20, 2010 Posted November 20, 2010 Been lurking around for awhile but thought it was time to post something I've been going through. About 5 months ago I dated a girl for about 4 weeks that I really fell for. We seemed to get along great! But things just faded because we were in different spots in life. For instance she was changing jobs at the time and it didn't seem it was the best time for her to date (maybe just her excuse). Anyway, it was hard to get together and see her (she was always busy) so I decided I needed to move on. I didn't really want to, but my heart was really getting involved and didn't want to end up hurt. We parted ways that was it. I went no contact and haven't talked to her since. I've improved some areas of my life, got in shape, dated some girls, found some new hobbies and things are going fine. The thing is, I still think about this girl a lot! I feel like I missed out on something really special. I haven't fully gotten over her even after 5 months. Now I'm thinking about giving her a call. Is this a bad idea?? I mean is it possible to spark up an old flame? I'm just wondering what my odds are. Guys have you ever had any success in doing this? Girls what would you think if an old flame randomly called you up? Please help. I don't even know if she has a b/f or not and the only for me to find out is to call. We don't have any mutual friends.
Katherineos123 Posted November 20, 2010 Posted November 20, 2010 It definitely possible to spark up an old flame! Have you tried trying to find her on facebook or another networking site... This is the way to do things nowadays But seriously, if you really feel like you missed out on something, why not give her a call and just say that you thought of her recently and wanted to see if she wanted to get together for a drink or coffee or something low key... Maybe even keep it to a lunch/daytime type deal, that way it comes off as less forward, and then try and feel out where she's at this way. The worst case scenario is that shes unavailable, either in a relationship, or simply uninterested, in which case, youll be right back where you are now. But at least that way, youll know you tried... And youll know to move on.
Confusedalways Posted November 20, 2010 Posted November 20, 2010 Agreed with Katherineos! You've got nothing to lose - give it a shot
MJ2 Posted November 20, 2010 Posted November 20, 2010 Maybe start by sending her a text asking about her new job. You will probably be able to fill her out by her response. Its been 5 months since you've spoken to her, right?
Author lovebitme Posted November 20, 2010 Author Posted November 20, 2010 Well it's good to know that an old flame can be rekindled. I think back sometimes on girls I dated and think to myself, I wish I had another shot, what was I thinking not giving that girl a chance! We never fought, argued, had a disagreement or anything. I just had to bail because I felt like she was leading me on or something. She said she was busy with life at the time and to my listening ears I heard "I'm not interested." But she seemed like she liked me but I didn't want to be taken advantage of. Maybe I'll give her a call. I think about six months to one year is perfect for this type of thing don't you? I'm not her friend on facebook either and won't be asking. This is a phone call or nothing.
Pink_orchid Posted November 20, 2010 Posted November 20, 2010 Hello there, I wouldn't phone out of the blue, because she MAY have a fella, she may not want to hear from you, and it may be awkward, she may be working/driving/tied up and can not answer the call even if she wants to, in which case you'll be wondering did she ignore me.Of course it may be that she would answer the call. How about sending a text and saying Hi it's XXXX (your name) just wondering how you are, and if you wanted to get some coffee/meet up/go for dinner/ whatever and is it convenient if I give you a call right now. Then if you want to phone you've pre-warned her to expect the call. She might be thrilled and ring or text you or she might not, just be open for either outcome and good luck.
Author lovebitme Posted November 20, 2010 Author Posted November 20, 2010 Hello there, I wouldn't phone out of the blue, because she MAY have a fella, she may not want to hear from you, and it may be awkward, she may be working/driving/tied up and can not answer the call even if she wants to, in which case you'll be wondering did she ignore me.Of course it may be that she would answer the call. How about sending a text and saying Hi it's XXXX (your name) just wondering how you are, and if you wanted to get some coffee/meet up/go for dinner/ whatever and is it convenient if I give you a call right now. Then if you want to phone you've pre-warned her to expect the call. She might be thrilled and ring or text you or she might not, just be open for either outcome and good luck. Sounds like good advice. Maybe a text is the best way to go. Personally I don't like text messages other than for flirting. I guess that is what I'm doing though. I basically broke up with her though a text message and I regret it. I wish I would have talked with her instead, but I wasn't ready to pour my heart out to her and tell her how I really felt because it was such a new relationship. Know what I mean? So I'll think about it. But what is wrong with her not answering and just leaving a message? Then she can get back to me when she wants to.
spice4life Posted November 20, 2010 Posted November 20, 2010 I'd go with a phone call if I were you. It shows that you have courage. Texting in this situation might come across as impersonal. If she is involved I'm sure she will let you know and then you can move on to someone else. Hope this helps.
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