scaredandalone1223 Posted November 20, 2010 Posted November 20, 2010 For those keeping up with my story we had our 1st session today. For everyone else your input is also appreciated. As it stands now he is NOT ready to come home. I have made a lot of progress as far as opening my eyes to my own faults. Like I said of course he has some too, but for the first time in our marriage I have opened myself up enough to look at my issues and start to deal with them. He says he hasn't closed the door on us but he has to see some changes. I have deleted my fb, because it was a HUGE problem. He told me, his mom told me, my mom told me, my kids told me, but I wouldn't listen. How could talking to my friends be a bad thin??? I wasn't IMing, I never put my focus on one person, I wasn't saying anything my husband couldn't see as a matter of fact I told him or showed him everything. Now that I'm reevaluating and looking at myself it was a HUGE proble,m. I did let my friends take priority and with more than just a show. And if I'm being honest with myself I should have never gone to the 1st show and DEF. NOT the 2nd. It would take sooo long to explain everything with it, but I could always 'justify' why I was right, but with everything else going on I was WRONG. He said he doesn't hate me or wish me ill will, but he no longer feels any romantic love toward me. I asked him point blank if he wanted a divorce and he said no, but then again I never did. I am still extremely worried about the emotional bond he is bulding with his new out of state friend, but trust has always been our corner stone and I do trust him. I'm not worried about his intensions I'm worried about him accidentally falling for her. I can't focus on that now. I can only do what I can do and hope I mean enough to him for him to come home and us work on our marriage. He did GREAT with his work thing this week and when his group went out to celebrate he asked me to come, he also came and took the kids and I out last night. We have another appt. Wed. So from the looks of it he wants things to work out, but he still says he's not sure and he isn't ready to move back in only to have us back here in a few months. Any input is GREATLY APPRECIATED!
PWSX3 Posted November 20, 2010 Posted November 20, 2010 Most important thing "you" can do is work on you because that is all you have control over & if you are serious about it, I'm sure you will find a lot of stuff you didn't know & you don't want to know but the more you work on those issues the better you will feel & the stronger you will become, which down the road will help you with your marriage...... Second thing, I heard on the radio the other day that most people stop doing counseling to soon. They were saying it takes at least a year of counseling so if you are serious & he is serious then it's going to take a while.... GOOD LUCK!!!
Yvelysse Posted November 21, 2010 Posted November 21, 2010 Most important thing "you" can do is work on you because that is all you have control over.... GOOD LUCK!!! Amen Scared, when you have yourself sorted out things will make more sense. On the good side he still cares and that is the ball! Now to keep it rolling, means you need to see to helping him fix matters (It's a two person job). Obviously both of you still care deeply. I have always said this regarding marriage, It is the compromise of two loving people. What are you willing to concede? What are you willing to not concede? and Him? Good Luck My prayers are for you...
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