Notsogood Posted November 19, 2010 Posted November 19, 2010 18 months now since the break up of my 5.5 year relationship and I have been single ever since. I think I have just completely given up on finding love again. This has been the longest period of being single in my adult life. Is this normal? I find that I constantly put my shields up whenever I meet new people and am very guarded. I am so cynical in regards to love these days. I don't know how to get over this. I would love to share my life with someone special but it just doesn't seem to be happening for me. Is this normal?
skydiveaddict Posted November 19, 2010 Posted November 19, 2010 Completely normal I think it's just part of the healing process. I find myself incapable of trusting anyone. And I doubt that I ever will again
alwayshoping Posted November 20, 2010 Posted November 20, 2010 the trick is to be happy with yourself. When you least want it, it will happen. When you do want it, it wont! Sods law I guess. good luck x
Don Ho Posted November 20, 2010 Posted November 20, 2010 Don't worry, as people we're really kind of dumb and forget the pain when we meet a new hot one! Another one will come along, you may be cautious, but you'll fall again. Hang in there and good luck!
sedgwick Posted November 20, 2010 Posted November 20, 2010 It's been 3.5 years for me without so much as a date. No sex, nothing. I am not capable of trusting again. I never thought that my love life would come to an end at age 36, but it did. Now it's just about productively filling the next 50 or so years with something else!
brentmused Posted November 20, 2010 Posted November 20, 2010 I can relate to that. Even though it has only been four months since I split with my girlfriend of 11 years, I can honestly say it feels to me like those four months have gone on for 20 years, when I was last at home seems like such a loing long time ago. I am not sure how I am still here, it has been that bad for me and I am totally destroyed. I think that in the back of my mind I will always stop myself ever getting too close to anyone ever again as I couldn't bear the thought of having to go through this again or ever letting anyone make me feel this bad again. At the moment I would gladly continue my life forever with no wmotional relationship. At 39 I feel I just cannot start over again as I am too old. I think I'm just destined to be unhappy forever. I'm scarred and I will never be the same person I was, I just don't have the zest for anything anymore. I see pretty girls walk past all the time and I think nothing. If I have to be on my own forever I don't think I would care too much
Margot Posted November 20, 2010 Posted November 20, 2010 It's completely normal to feel that way. For me it has been 5 months after a 6 year relationship. After years of various relationships I finally found the perfect mate. I was wrong. I think that I would not be able to trust again or give myself to someone that might ended on a broken heart. He betrayed me really bad and I'm just scared to experience that pain again. Since my break up I haven't been in dates, or have any contact with some possible suitors. I just want to be stay at home, watch movies, read, and just concentrate on my job and my education. Yes, I wish I would have a person to share my interests, my life, my views on everything, but I used to have that and now is gone. If sometimes shows up well fine, but I just don't want to concentrate and continue my life of finding another partner. The person that I loved the most and that stated that he had never loved someone as he loved me hurt me the most.
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