edwards99 Posted November 19, 2010 Posted November 19, 2010 Can anyone give me advise as to how to stop picturing my fiance whom I am in process of a second chance with who had a quick rebound relationship with someone..during a seperation we took..I can't stop thinking of them together..and imagining me coming up short in diff ways...comapring myself and so on...I know its stupid...I know we are together now..she is not cheating or anything niether am I..I too had relations on our break..I want things to work out so bad..and we love each othr so much..I just gotta find a way to stop thinking about them togetherm.. Anyone...please cuz I can really use some help!
SimonSerenade Posted November 20, 2010 Posted November 20, 2010 Can anyone give me advise as to how to stop picturing my fiance whom I am in process of a second chance with who had a quick rebound relationship with someone..during a seperation we took..I can't stop thinking of them together..and imagining me coming up short in diff ways...comapring myself and so on...I know its stupid...I know we are together now..she is not cheating or anything niether am I..I too had relations on our break..I want things to work out so bad..and we love each othr so much..I just gotta find a way to stop thinking about them togetherm.. Anyone...please cuz I can really use some help! Hey buddy, Damn that's a hard one cause I don't know what I'd do in that situation, I've had one or two ex's do that in the past and I've gotten past it but in truth they never really meant all that much in the first place, They were only short term after all, As for my last few ex's, I was there first time's in the sack and after they'd been with somebody else I just couldn't bare to be around them let alone anything else but it sounds to me like you really love this woman and want to make it work, The best thing I could suggest is openly talking to her about it and letting her help you through it. I think you both made mistake's by doing stuff with other people and I think maybe you need to work through that with her as I'm sure deep down she'll be having the same agonising thoughts as you, That's the way it goes usually, Since my ex I have strayed away from other women and I'm proud to say that my ex was the last person I slept with, I know my ex hasn't been with anybody else either as she ain't that kind of person to have sex with someone without loving them and being with them but even if she had I think I'd talk about it with her and I'd take the images of her with somebody else and replace them with new ones of me instead, I know it's hard, It would be for me as I was her first but you love her and That's all you can do. What's happened is happened, No changing that now, You didn't enjoy it and I doubt she did either, Just talk about it and stick together.
spice4life Posted November 20, 2010 Posted November 20, 2010 (edited) Deleted because I'm sure it doesn't really help your situation. Sorry. Edited November 20, 2010 by spice4life
twinrexes Posted November 20, 2010 Posted November 20, 2010 Can anyone give me advise as to how to stop picturing my fiance whom I am in process of a second chance with who had a quick rebound relationship with someone..during a seperation we took..I can't stop thinking of them together..and imagining me coming up short in diff ways...comapring myself and so on...I know its stupid...I know we are together now..she is not cheating or anything niether am I..I too had relations on our break..I want things to work out so bad..and we love each othr so much..I just gotta find a way to stop thinking about them togetherm.. Anyone...please cuz I can really use some help! You're beating yourself up with these images. Unless you marry a virgin, any woman you're with has had other partners. What's different about this one is he came during a separation you took, AND you admit that you ALSO had relations during that break! Sounds like the two of you had agreed to see other people. So the only reason I can think of for imagining this other guy is that you want to make trouble for yourself! We can be our own worst enemies sometimes. You're incredibly lucky to have a second chance here and instead of focusing on the positives and moving forward, you choose to obsess about the most disturbing part of the breakup. Get a hold of yourself, man! Be more like an alpha male. Between you and this guy, who did she choose? Bingo. So, she must have compared the two of you and who came up short? You? I think not! Even long-term married couples are able to move on and stay together after one has cheated on the other. Here, you guys agreed to split. You have to get past what happened during the split. Go out and make some new memories together and picture THOSE when you need something to obsess about.
Author edwards99 Posted November 21, 2010 Author Posted November 21, 2010 Thank you all for the replies...I appreciate immensly..she is everything to me and I wanna make the most out of my second chance!!
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