puke alert..."amazing connection"

[NoIDidn't]

Does anyone even care that I just nearly peed my pants laughing at the outcome of this thread? That I can pick any thread in any relationship forum here on LS and go to page 6 or 7 or 8 and find the exact same responses?

 

I started a goofy post, to poke fun at a goofy phrase. Then comes the resident narcissist OW to defend the great affair of a lifetime. Then the bible verses. Then the...oh you get it.BTW, my H never uttered the "amazing connection" phrase, or any other such stupid shmut. I just have seen this so much lately. It seems rather cliche. Just like the contestants on reality dating shows.

 

Back on track-what about the phrase "You would really like him/her if it weren't for the circumstances"???

 

So true! The Mod should just close all relationship forum threads at page 8. LOL.

 

My H never told me or anyone else that malarkey about having an amazing connection with the OW either. That's something you tell the object of your affection. Its something we both felt, and still feel, when we first became a couple. Its what we felt when we got married - an AMAZING connection.

 

But, I can't bring myself to pick on those phrases reported by the OW/OM in the "other" forum. Because, as I stated above, its that way when any couple first gets together. Anyone who hasn't felt this way in a new relationship should get out of it NOW!

 

Its so sad that some of us can't laugh at ourselves or see the silliness of first falling in love. I've re-read love letters from when I dated my H. They were the sweetest, and sappiest, letters I've ever read. Gag me for writing that drivel. LOL.

 

BTW, I hate the dating shows. How all those women openly compete with each other, and kiss, and sometimes even sleep with this COMPLETE STRANGER is just foreign to me! If these people aren't all just actors, heaven help us!

[myname]

Well, you might not say it but I will. The OW was inferior to my wife. I think her choices at that time were selfish, Godless and immoral. So were mine. I don't know and don't care if she has changed since then. I know I have, and have found forgiveness. With both my precious wife and my Lord. How other MM feel is completely up to them. They have their opinion and I have mine. And we all have a right to our own beliefs and opinions.

 

This comes across pretty pukesome and sanctimonious too, you did choose to have your affair, you may have repented and regret what you were involved in, fair enough, but why the need to diss the ow now? She may well have found forgiveness too, you obviously didn't respect her anymore than you respected your wife when you were involved in the affair and that's what's unpleasant, surely you could have human respect for all who you involved in your life regardless of the outcome and what choices you made.

[jennie-jennie]

Really! Where? I would be interested in reading that. It hasn't been that long since I looked in the mirror. You would think I'd have noticed that change... or at least my wife would. Oh, sorry. Married people don't touch each other in private. I forgot again. Ha ha.

 

I said turnstone was a woman. Seems BNB can't keep things straight today.

 

Sorry Thomasb. I am still a little fuzzy from cold meds...JJ said Turnstone.

 

OK, that explains it. I was wondering what you were on.

Edited November 23, 2010 by jennie-jennie

[Spark1111]

This comes across pretty pukesome and sanctimonious too, you did choose to have your affair, you may have repented and regret what you were involved in, fair enough, but why the need to diss the ow now? She may well have found forgiveness too, you obviously didn't respect her anymore than you respected your wife when you were involved in the affair and that's what's unpleasant, surely you could have human respect for all who you involved in your life regardless of the outcome and what choices you made.

 

Maybe yes....maybe no.

 

thomasb is not talking of ALL OW...just his OW.

 

Just like some OW/OM are here madly in love with their MP; others are in pain or disgust, or frustration, or anger with their MP.

 

It's his opinion regarding his situation. It is not rude nor disrespectful to YOU Personally, IMO.

 

But I will defend to the death your right to post it.

[NoLongerSad]

Does anyone even care that I just nearly peed my pants laughing at the outcome of this thread? That I can pick any thread in any relationship forum here on LS and go to page 6 or 7 or 8 and find the exact same responses?

 

I started a goofy post, to poke fun at a goofy phrase. Then comes the resident narcissist OW to defend the great affair of a lifetime. Then the bible verses. Then the...oh you get it.BTW, my H never uttered the "amazing connection" phrase, or any other such stupid shmut. I just have seen this so much lately. It seems rather cliche. Just like the contestants on reality dating shows.

 

Back on track-what about the phrase "You would really like him/her if it weren't for the circumstances"???

 

 

The internet conveniently allows other people to attempt to broadly promulgate their personal delusions. Even from whatever padded cell they might be fortunate enough from which to have internet connectivity.

[YellowShark]

That's another good one.........

 

My favorite is still, "It just happened........"

 

 

Yep, I'd be happy to see the thread get back to being fun....

 

I've got silly party hats..............oh, and brownies!!!

 

You mean like...

 

"It just happened that our clothes fell off our bodies."

 

"It just happened that we sent 70 sexts to each other in one week."

 

"It just happened that mOW fell onto my penis a few times."

 

"It just happened that I went out for lunch/dinner/drinks with mOM several times."

 

"It just happened that my inbox is full of xrated pictures from mOW/OM"

 

 

[myname]

Maybe yes....maybe no.

 

thomasb is not talking of ALL OW...just his OW.

 

Just like some OW/OM are here madly in love with their MP; others are in pain or disgust, or frustration, or anger with their MP.

 

It's his opinion regarding his situation. It is not rude nor disrespectful to YOU Personally, IMO.

 

But I will defend to the death your right to post it.

 

thanks, I don't know thomasb's story, so don't know what reasons he has for describing his ow the way he does, and so it can come across as though he's the ultimate cake eater, when he was in the affair he did what he did and I suppose had feelings for his ow enough to risk his marriage, now he's forgiven by his wife and has found god in his life his ow is diminished as selfish and inferior. He comes across as thoughtless of other people and gives the impression he's better than others.

[bentnotbroken]

thanks, I don't know thomasb's story, so don't know what reasons he has for describing his ow the way he does, and so it can come across as though he's the ultimate cake eater, when he was in the affair he did what he did and I suppose had feelings for his ow enough to risk his marriage, now he's forgiven by his wife and has found god in his life his ow is diminished as selfish and inferior. He comes across as thoughtless of other people and gives the impression he's better than others.

 

People who find God and change, anything negative they say about anybody is going to be construed as being better. Has nothing with being better and everything with believing in your heart and confessing with your mouth those things that are held sacred and in obedience with God.

 

We hear on here all the time the "once a cheater, always a cheater" is null and void. We also hear that people can and do change if they so desire. We hear all the time the negatives spewed about the BS...yet say something against an AP and the wraith of those who think that former WS/BS/fAP should always show some type of loyalty, respect or honor to a relationship that wasn't born of loyalty, respect or honor.

 

The impression he gives is that God truly saves and forgives. He is not newly out of the affair, his hindsight is a lot clearer than during the immediate days after the end of an affair. And he owes the AP nothing, not even on an anonymous internet forum.

 

 

Just as all BS aren't saintly, without their crap or borderline evil twits from the bowels of hell:rolleyes: There are a lot of AP who are the same way. Some of us have personal experience and the news has a few stories every so often as proof of that. The NASA astronaut driving around in diapers, Amy Fisher, the young woman who killed Steve McNair and herself are some examples.

[Snowflower]

thanks, I don't know thomasb's story, so don't know what reasons he has for describing his ow the way he does, and so it can come across as though he's the ultimate cake eater, when he was in the affair he did what he did and I suppose had feelings for his ow enough to risk his marriage, now he's forgiven by his wife and has found god in his life his ow is diminished as selfish and inferior. He comes across as thoughtless of other people and gives the impression he's better than others.

 

 

Many people have looked back at old loves, former boyfriends/girlfriends and even ex-spouses and had a, "what the heck was I thinking" moment. Thomasb is no different.

[bentnotbroken]

Many people have looked back at old loves, former boyfriends/girlfriends and even ex-spouses and had a, "what the heck was I thinking" moment. Thomasb is no different.

 

 

I say things about Mr. Messy all the time. I wonder what the heck was I thinking:eek: and I wonder why I didn't see what a twisted personality he had and recognize that he was cheating for years. But the (^$#D@&** names I've call him have diminished to an occasional...screw you!

[jennie-jennie]

I say things about Mr. Messy all the time. I wonder what the heck was I thinking:eek: and I wonder why I didn't see what a twisted personality he had and recognize that he was cheating for years. But the (^$#D@&** names I've call him have diminished to an occasional...screw you!

 

See that's the thing. The less power a past love has over you the less resentment you will have. Name calling and demeaning talk about a past love shows they still have a grip on you.

[bentnotbroken]

See that's the thing. The less power a past love has over you the less resentment you will have. Name calling and demeaning talk about a past love shows they still have a grip on you.

 

 

That's your methodology. It doesn't hold across the board and isn't even reasonable. I name call him because I like it. Has nothing to do with resentment. I don't have a problem calling an azz an azz. I thinking cheating is demeaning and show lack of maturity but hey that's just me. If I have the choice to cheat or participating in helping somebody else cheat or call somebody an azz ....AZZ clown it is. He has as much a grip on me as he does his morals.

[jennie-jennie]

That's your methodology. It doesn't hold across the board and isn't even reasonable. I name call him because I like it. Has nothing to do with resentment. I don't have a problem calling an azz an azz. I thinking cheating is demeaning and show lack of maturity but hey that's just me. If I have the choice to cheat or participating in helping somebody else cheat or call somebody an azz ....AZZ clown it is. He has as much a grip on me as he does his morals.

 

Sorry, I meant it as a compliment to you that you are moving on.

[thomasb]

See that's the thing. The less power a past love has over you the less resentment you will have. Name calling and demeaning talk about a past love shows they still have a grip on you.

 

 

Nope. She demeaned herself. Her choice. I demeaned myself the second I took her up on her proposition. My only excuse was being a very drunk 26yr old with raging hormones. I no longer drink without my wife present. And not because she forbids it. But because of my determination to have respect for my marriage. The only one with any 'grip' on me is my lovely wife.

[fooled once]

That's your methodology. It doesn't hold across the board and isn't even reasonable. I name call him because I like it. Has nothing to do with resentment. I don't have a problem calling an azz an azz. I thinking cheating is demeaning and show lack of maturity but hey that's just me. If I have the choice to cheat or participating in helping somebody else cheat or call somebody an azz ....AZZ clown it is. He has as much a grip on me as he does his morals.

 

I completely agree!

 

You should hear the things I have called my exhusband - and he earned and deserves every single one of them!

[pureinheart]

That's your methodology. It doesn't hold across the board and isn't even reasonable. I name call him because I like it. Has nothing to do with resentment. I don't have a problem calling an azz an azz. I thinking cheating is demeaning and show lack of maturity but hey that's just me. If I have the choice to cheat or participating in helping somebody else cheat or call somebody an azz ....AZZ clown it is. He has as much a grip on me as he does his morals.

 

Wow, to each his own I guess.

[pureinheart]

Nope. She demeaned herself. Her choice. I demeaned myself the second I took her up on her proposition. My only excuse was being a very drunk 26yr old with raging hormones. I no longer drink without my wife present. And not because she forbids it. But because of my determination to have respect for my marriage. The only one with any 'grip' on me is my lovely wife.

 

TB, it almost sounds like you speak from a script, like you are being controlled. I see a lot of self hatred for what happened, I hope that gets worked out if in fact that is the case.

[twinsmom]

TB, it almost sounds like you speak from a script, like you are being controlled. I see a lot of self hatred for what happened, I hope that gets worked out if in fact that is the case.

 

PiH, I totally agree, and many times I do not agree with your posts. No offense, just that we have different ways of thinking..But I can totally see your point on this. And the way that he speaks of his OW as if HE was the better person than HER in their affair is just sickening. They were both involved in the affair, and he was no better than she was. You're absolutely right; it sounds like someone else is behind his posts. I'm sure I will be told that I'm totally wrong, no doubt about that, but it sure makes you think..

[thomasb]

Controlled by whom? Yes. Now I am. It is called self control. Something I did not have during the affair. Sorry if what you want to hear is how I miss my 'soulmate'. Puke.

[Hazyhead]

PiH, I totally agree, and many times I do not agree with your posts. No offense, just that we have different ways of thinking..But I can totally see your point on this. And the way that he speaks of his OW as if HE was the better person than HER in their affair is just sickening. They were both involved in the affair, and he was no better than she was. You're absolutely right; it sounds like someone else is behind his posts. I'm sure I will be told that I'm totally wrong, no doubt about that, but it sure makes you think..

 

 

I have to say, although in essence I agree with some of Thomas b's principles, I feel the same about the way he talks about his exAP, as if being derogatory towards her somehow elevates him. It shouldn't be his exAP he discusses, she is irrelevant, it should be himself. That's what I find 'pukey'. I guess that analysing her allows him to not have to focus on his own lack of morality and it doesn't, to me, come off as genuine.

[Silly_Girl]

Nope. She demeaned herself. Her choice. I demeaned myself the second I took her up on her proposition. My only excuse was being a very drunk 26yr old with raging hormones. I no longer drink without my wife present. And not because she forbids it. But because of my determination to have respect for my marriage. The only one with any 'grip' on me is my lovely wife.

 

Thomasb, more than once I've voiced concerns for you. You are very much in the shadow of your affair, I believe from your posts. You still seem very much in the grip of it and I wonder how that can derive you a happy life.

 

If you don't like alcohol, don't drink... ever, but it sounds like you don't drink because you do not trust yourself to be in control of your actions and look to your wife as some sort of behaviour warden.

[myname]

Controlled by whom? Yes. Now I am. It is called self control. Something I did not have during the affair. Sorry if what you want to hear is how I miss my 'soulmate'. Puke.

 

It doesn't have to be one way or the other, it's the demonising of her and yourself that comes across badly. There's nothing about reconnecting with your wife and having self control that's being questioned.

[OWoman]

This IS the infidelity forum. This forum should be 'free' of OW coming in here, stirring up trouble and defending their cheating and the cheaters they are with.

 

According to the description of the forum,

Infidelity In an affair or suspect your significant other? Share your experiences and concerns here.

 

OWs are as much "in an affair" as the WS. There are no rules saying OWs may not post here, just as there are no rules stating that the BS or WS may not post in the OW/OM forum. If you (general you) wish this changed, I'd guess the route would be to appeal to the Director or Moderator - or to start your own forum where you can make the rules you'd prefer, yourself.

[bentnotbroken]

Controlled by whom? Yes. Now I am. It is called self control. Something I did not have during the affair. Sorry if what you want to hear is how I miss my 'soulmate'. Puke.

 

 

I see you following the laws of God when maintaining a level of control, just as described in Ephasians 5. Your actions show subsmission toward God, your marriage and your wife. This is what God asks for all of us who want a convenant marriage. Sadly, most of us can't or won't do the things necessary and marriage fall to outside crap. I see you safegaurding your marriage from future failure because you know the temptation will come...it is inevitable. I pray you stay focused and strong and don't let the naysayers change that focus.

 

I am not one who believes that you can ever trust a person who cheats again....but I am a believer in Christ and I know all things can be done when one abides in his will.

[thomasb]

BNB, Thank you. It is nice to feel clean again. You will understand what I mean.