myname Posted November 22, 2010 Posted November 22, 2010 I never had a cat cheat on me, honey. well assuming you don't have sex with your cat, and don't expect your cat to not have sex with other cats (if it's not been given the snip already) then this makes no sense. Also cats are notorious for going round a number of households getting extra food and stroking, so would that be classed as your cat cheating?
jennie-jennie Posted November 22, 2010 Posted November 22, 2010 just speaking for myself, do respect you as a human being. i hate the choices that you have made and I think they are wrong, but I certainly do not wish any harm to you. If you were in danger and I could help, I would. If you were hungry and needed a meal, I'd give you one and if you were cold I would try and make sure you had a warm place to sleep. I wish you no harm nor hurt. Thank you, I truly appreciate that. I'm just sorry that you can't give that same respect to the wife of the guy you are having the affair with...it always seems odd to me that you ask for respect from strangers on the internet, yet you are totally unwilling to respect the wife of the guy you are sleeping with.But this is where moral relativism comes in. I understand your point of view, but do you understand that from my point of you I am doing nothing wrong? I do respect my MM's wife. Unfortunately we love the same man. There is nothing I can do about that, since I am not willing to altruistically give up my relationship for the benefit of her relationship. Being with the person whom you love and who you love is too important to me to consider giving it up for the benefit of someone else. Respect is not simply given, it is earned. and in my opinion,( for what it's worth, and depending on who you ask it's probably not worth a huge amount, lol) your actions are not worthy of respect.The postings of many LS posters go against my morals of how to treat other people. Should I then write them off because I consider them to be doing something morally wrong? Or should I treat them with respect although we have different moral stands?
bentnotbroken Posted November 22, 2010 Posted November 22, 2010 FOG, when research supports your own personal experience in life you are inclined to believe it to be true. It saddens me that you think rekindled love is something to laugh about. It has been one of the best experiences in my life. Sure, having sex with someone is a choice. But the attraction can make the choice easier, since it can be irresistible, meaning the benefits way outweigh the consequences. If you truly want to support those who look at the world differently than you do, you need to respect their perspective and their choices. Laughing at it is very unbecoming. So is having an affair with someone else's spouse. I guess it depends on what one finds distasteful.
bentnotbroken Posted November 22, 2010 Posted November 22, 2010 Which is why your opinion does not matter squat to me. I am a human being as much as you are. I follow my morals. If I would follow your morals I would be going against my own. Your morals apparently allow you to disregard another human being because they are doing something you consider morally wrong. I consider that morally wrong. All human beings should be treated with respect and understanding that their morals might differ from one's own. I must say I am genuinely concerned about many of the LS posters. :eek:Well that 's the pot calling the kettle black. YOUR morals allow you to disregard the male's wife because you don't believe you are doing anything wrong. And your lack of respect for that male's wife because your morals differ from her's makes one concerned about what is in store for the next person who you deem unworthy of respect because your morals are different from theirs.
myname Posted November 22, 2010 Posted November 22, 2010 :eek:Well that 's the pot calling the kettle black. YOUR morals allow you to disregard the male's wife because you don't believe you are doing anything wrong. And your lack of respect for that male's wife because your morals differ from her's makes one concerned about what is in store for the next person who you deem unworthy of respect because your morals are different from theirs. hmm, it's not that black and white is it? It's not cos the morals are necessarily different between the ow and the bs, in fact they probably come quite close in agreement that they would like the ws to make a choice. Also I think the majority of ow are not participating in order to damage the bs, which is how it seems to be looked at on here sometimes. How far are humans meant to take the altruistic route, should we not apply for jobs where there are already people in post, should we not try to break world records for fear of upsetting the person who held it before us?
jennie-jennie Posted November 22, 2010 Posted November 22, 2010 So is having an affair with someone else's spouse. I guess it depends on what one finds distasteful. Yes, moral relativism. We have once again proved this point. Absolute morals is a myth.
jennie-jennie Posted November 22, 2010 Posted November 22, 2010 :eek:Well that 's the pot calling the kettle black. YOUR morals allow you to disregard the male's wife because you don't believe you are doing anything wrong. And your lack of respect for that male's wife because your morals differ from her's makes one concerned about what is in store for the next person who you deem unworthy of respect because your morals are different from theirs. Are you suggesting I should live life according to other people's morals, not my own?
bentnotbroken Posted November 22, 2010 Posted November 22, 2010 Yes, moral relativism. We have once again proved this point. Absolute morals is a myth. Only if you don't have any or view others as less than you.
bentnotbroken Posted November 22, 2010 Posted November 22, 2010 Are you suggesting I should live life according to other people's morals, not my own? Your post to turnstone stated His morals allowed him to disregard another because their morals differ from his...that is exactly what you are doing to that male's wife. Live your wife the way you see fit...we all do, but by no means believe you aren't doing the exact same things you so vehemently accuse others of doing. To a lot of people your morals are as special to them as the male's wife is to you.
jennie-jennie Posted November 22, 2010 Posted November 22, 2010 The BS in JJ situation does not know anything. Could you explain how they are close in agreement and I am not speaking generalities. I am speaking of a specific case. So what you are saying is it doesn't matter that the BS and her family are being hurt just because JJ didn't intend to happen? Or that their hurt is less because of some one's intent. My children and I were hurt no matter what he intent of the OW was. Do you think those on the receiving in of the lies give a fat rat's azz about what the intent is. :lmao::lmao:(Oh, you didn't intend to crap on my life....I understand:rolleyes:) Yep, the intent of the OW made a big difference to me when I was the BS. OW in love with my SO I could understand and I did not hold the affair against them. Even ONS I could understand, because that is about lust. Manipulative OW who used lying and guilt to maintain the relationship I could not understand. So to some BSs intent matters.
bentnotbroken Posted November 22, 2010 Posted November 22, 2010 hmm, it's not that black and white is it? It's not cos the morals are necessarily different between the ow and the bs, in fact they probably come quite close in agreement that they would like the ws to make a choice. Also I think the majority of ow are not participating in order to damage the bs, which is how it seems to be looked at on here sometimes. How far are humans meant to take the altruistic route, should we not apply for jobs where there are already people in post, should we not try to break world records for fear of upsetting the person who held it before us? If you want to be it is just that black and white. It only gets muddy when you are screwing someone else over and don't it means nothing.
jennie-jennie Posted November 22, 2010 Posted November 22, 2010 Your post to turnstone stated His morals allowed him to disregard another because their morals differ from his...that is exactly what you are doing to that male's wife. Live your wife the way you see fit...we all do, but by no means believe you aren't doing the exact same things you so vehemently accuse others of doing. To a lot of people your morals are as special to them as the MM's wife is to you. I have trouble understanding your post. Which "him" are you talking about? I understand pretty well which morals my MM's wife has. I respect her right to have morals that differ from mine, but I do not live by her morals. I would never speak to her or anyone else whose morals differ from mine in the way many LS posters speak to OW. That to me is showing disrespect of another human being. That to me is morally wrong.
myname Posted November 22, 2010 Posted November 22, 2010 The BS in JJ situation does not know anything. Could you explain how they are close in agreement and I am not speaking generalities. I am speaking of a specific case. So what you are saying is it doesn't matter that the BS and her family are being hurt just because JJ didn't intend to happen? Or that their hurt is less because of some one's intent. My children and I were hurt no matter what he intent of the OW was. Do you think those on the receiving in of the lies give a fat rat's azz about what the intent is. :lmao::lmao:(Oh, you didn't intend to crap on my life....I understand:rolleyes:) The male( can't classify him as a man.) that JJ is involved with very well has an intent. To keep his wife in the dark and maintain his cake eating. And he does everything he can to make sure she stays in the dark. That makes him a real piece of work. I never said anything about it not mattering that other people were hurt, I just said that suggesting the ow is morally inferior to yourself is rubbish. And also you didn't respond to the other points, just how far does your altruistic perfection go?
myname Posted November 22, 2010 Posted November 22, 2010 If you want to be it is just that black and white. It only gets muddy when you are screwing someone else over and don't it means nothing. not sure what you mean by this, but I think it is not the case that the ow is necessarily screwing over the bs.
bentnotbroken Posted November 22, 2010 Posted November 22, 2010 MM's I have trouble understanding your post. Which "him" are you talking about? I understand pretty well which morals my MM's wife has. I respect her right to have morals that differ from mine, but I do not live by her morals. I would never speak to her or anyone else whose morals differ from mine in the way many LS posters speak to OW. That to me is showing disrespect of another human being. That to me is morally wrong. Turnstone>his>him. Your actions toward her speak volumes of your respect for her and your difference in morals. But of course your aren't showing her any disrespect because you aren't opening your mouth.
bentnotbroken Posted November 22, 2010 Posted November 22, 2010 not sure what you mean by this, but I think it is not the case that the ow is necessarily screwing over the bs. No she isn't screwing over the BS alone, she has a ton of help from the cheating party. And she isn't just screwing over the BS but a family. Do I believe all ow are the same...not even close. But do I think the some know exactly what they are doing and don't give a crap...you betcha.
bentnotbroken Posted November 22, 2010 Posted November 22, 2010 I never said anything about it not mattering that other people were hurt, I just said that suggesting the ow is morally inferior to yourself is rubbish. And also you didn't respond to the other points, just how far does your altruistic perfection go? I never said OW was inferior to me or anyone else. That's your projection point. Do I believe choices that are made are not only not compassionate since that's a favorite buzz word around her but those same choices aren't respectful no matter what the intent is. Perfectionism is something only Jesus can claim....I can't do that, that would make not human. I prefer human. Your points: Job application; If there is a job being advertised then either is open or about to become available. World records= competition. How does a BS compete if they are lied to. Make it a fair and level playing field. Give the BS the opportunity to do the same or move on. Now since you wanted to use those comparisons. Who do I accept the choices of? Do I accept and respect the choices of murders, rapists, child molesters, embezzlers? After all it is a free world and we all have choices to make (good, bad or ugly). If we are talking about the nature of altruism, some pedophiles think children should have the right to decide to "love" an adult. My morals say all this is wrong. So if I begin to say adultery is okay, where do I draw the line?Do I say that murder is wrong or should I just say "oh it may not have been their intent to kill". (yes this is extreme) My morals aren't relative to the situation. Wrong is wrong(we all do wrong). The examples I posted are extreme and not even in the same realm as cheating, but your examples of a sporting event and a job interview were on the other end of the spectrum, not even close.
jennie-jennie Posted November 22, 2010 Posted November 22, 2010 Turnstone>his>him. Your actions toward her speak volumes of your respect for her and your difference in morals. But of course your aren't showing her any disrespect because you aren't opening your mouth. Turnstone is a woman. So I still don't understand the reference to "his" and "him". I respect Turnstone as a human being and as such she has the right to hold the moral stand she finds morally correct. That does not mean that her opinions have an impact on me. If they are too far away from my moral stand they will not. I will however not let that impact me when it comes to her basic rights of being treated as a fellow human being of equal value.
jennie-jennie Posted November 22, 2010 Posted November 22, 2010 Now since you wanted to use those comparisons. Who do I accept the choices of? Do I accept and respect the choices of murders, rapists, child molesters, embezzlers? After all it is a free world and we all have choices to make (good, bad or ugly). If we are talking about the nature of altruism, some pedophiles think children should have the right to decide to "love" an adult. My morals say all this is wrong. So if I begin to say adultery is okay, where do I draw the line?Do I say that murder is wrong or should I just say "oh it may not have been their intent to kill". (yes this is extreme) My morals aren't relative to the situation. Wrong is wrong(we all do wrong). A society's laws draw the lines here. We do not need everyone to agree on the same morals when it comes to murder and other crimes. The laws protect us. So irrelevant comparison.
bentnotbroken Posted November 22, 2010 Posted November 22, 2010 Turnstone is a woman. So I still don't understand the reference to "his" and "him". I respect Turnstone as a human being and as such she has the right to hold the moral stand she finds morally correct. That does not mean that her opinions have an impact on me. If they are too far away from my moral stand they will not. I will however not let that impact me when it comes to her basic rights of being treated as a fellow human being of equal value. :oSorry Turnstone.
bentnotbroken Posted November 22, 2010 Posted November 22, 2010 A society's laws draw the lines here. We do not need everyone to agree on the same morals when it comes to murder and other crimes. The laws protect us. So irrelevant comparison. I did say the comparison was extreme and yes irrelevant as irrelevant IMO as the job and world record comparison. Post number 99.
harmfulsweetz Posted November 22, 2010 Posted November 22, 2010 Which is why your opinion does not matter squat to me. I am a human being as much as you are. I follow my morals. If I would follow your morals I would be going against my own. Your morals apparently allow you to disregard another human being because they are doing something you consider morally wrong. I consider that morally wrong. All human beings should be treated with respect and understanding that their morals might differ from one's own. I must say I am genuinely concerned about many of the LS posters. I actually 100% agree with this. People at times (and this thread is evidence of that) request that people ought to follow a moralistic code, and yet, they are sitting behind their computer screen, disregarding others feelings. Sure, an OW/OM is in a bad situation, making bad choices, and is going against the majority's moral code. Sure. I get that, since when did it become acceptable for people to mock others though? When did that become the right thing to do? I may not agree with the actions of certain posters, but not my problem, but I still respect them as human beings with feelings.
harmfulsweetz Posted November 22, 2010 Posted November 22, 2010 "I knew it must be true love because he let me have oral sex with him in his pick up truck in the parking lot at lunchtime." Who was that in reference to?
silktricks Posted November 22, 2010 Posted November 22, 2010 My favorites: WS lines about the AP to the BS: We're just friends. She doesn't/didn't mean anything. It was a mistake. But, I only love you! (no matter which one he's talking to ). WS lines about the BS to the AP: Our marriage is dead. She doesn't love me anymore. We haven't had sex for years. We're only staying together for the kids. BS lines (after D-Day, of course) He was in the fog. We had a wonderful marriage until the OW interfered. He NEVER would have done this, it's all HER fault. AP lines: No one understands him the way I do. Our love is so amazing We are soul-mates No one has ever had a love like ours and of course all of the lines about how he's misunderstood, staying for the kids, his wife doesn't understand him, that he has told her... etc. etc. etc.
someday Posted November 22, 2010 Posted November 22, 2010 What is amazing to me is that people actually believe these things enough to justify their actions. They take no personal responsibility because they can pawn it off on the phrases of “love, connection, soul mate, it just happened” as if they have NO POWER over themselves. That, to me, is an ultimate sin against oneself…to act mindlessly.
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