puke alert..."amazing connection"

[U2RockZz]

Research shows that if renewed contact is made with a past love, within 30 days the relationship will be back at the same level as it left off, within 60 days there will be physical love.

 

The force of rekindled love is strong. If you allow yourself that first renewed contact, control is lost. It just happens.

 

you seem to have lot of research work...at your hand....which no one heard of,care about....anyways who is this pot head relentlessly working on these useless theories....or is it your own research/own desperate cry for attention

[jennie-jennie]

What research? Who did the studies and have the results been replicated? I am interested in this.

 

Dr Nancy Kalish has done studies about rekindled love. She is considered an expert in this area.

 

http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/bloggers/nancy-kalish-phd

http://www.lostlovers.com/research/

 

What I stated about the 30 and 60 days is from a radio program my MM partly listened to. It was not Dr Kalish herself who was speaking about rekindled love, but what was said seemed to coincide with her research. I can't offer you any backup for that information though. All I know is what my MM told me.

Edited November 20, 2010 by jennie-jennie

[Spiritgirl]

What is the point in this thread? I understand OP thought it would be funny to make fun of phrases used by OW/OM - not funny by the way and I AM a "fun" person. But now its just turned into a bashfest for people in affairs. Those posting here are not helping anyone. So what's the point? Does it make you (general "you") feel better to put others down? Whether you agree with affairs or not, please be compassionate.

[NoLongerSad]

What is the point in this thread?

 

I would guess ironic humor was the point.

 

 

I understand OP thought it would be funny to make fun of phrases used by OW/OM - not funny by the way and I AM a "fun" person.

 

See? More ironic humor. Thank you for your contribution.

 

 

But now its just turned into a bashfest for people in affairs.

 

Oh, my. Not a "bashfest"!

 

 

 

Those posting here are not helping anyone.

 

 

Not even one person?

 

 

So what's the point? Does it make you (general "you") feel better to put others down?

 

The point is to expose the self-entitled attitudes of cheaters and their affair partners. Again, thank you for your contribution to this thread.

 

 

 

Whether you agree with affairs or not, please be compassionate.

 

When you say "be compassionate," do you mean "be as compassionate as a cheating spouse is to their betrayed spouse when they engage in an affair" or do you mean "be as compassionate as an affair partner is to the betrayed spouse, when they engage in an affair with their married affair partner"?

 

Please clarify which standard of "compassion" you prefer others to follow.

[fooled once]

If I see these words one more time used by a WS or OP, I will seriously throw up!!

 

I still lurk here and post ocassionally, but I have noticed this dreaded phrase A LOT lately...

 

I say let's start a game. Anytime someone says "amazing connection" in their post, we start a thread about...oh, I don't know, lingerie??? Sex toys?? Any other ideas??

 

And are there any other infidelity related phrases that just make you roll your eyes?? Please share!

 

This is intended in good humor, for those reading. And for all WS too!

 

I got one!!!

 

"We text/webcam/email/talk alllll daaayyyyyy llllooonnnngggg"

 

 

BIG FLIPPIN DEAL. Just because someone can text/call/webcam doesn't equal a deep, meaningful love relationship. I mean, I guess my H doesn't love me since he doesn't spend his entire work day texting me

 

Oh good grief, LIGHTEN UP JJ! It was a joke! The tone of this thread is for fun.

Bolded part - Was that really necessary to say? Does it make you feel better to say stuff like this?

 

I agree. I am not sure why some have to continually go into forums and pick apart people's posts. If you don't like the post, click your mouse. For heaven's sake, this is the INFIDELITY forum - stop with the "me and my mm" crap. WE GET IT already. Additionally, not every thread is about you and I don't understand the need to make every thread about you or for you to continue to take pot shots at people. It is getting old.

 

NEXT ...........

[NoLongerSad]

What is the point in this thread? I understand OP thought it would be funny to make fun of phrases used by OW/OM - not funny by the way and I AM a "fun" person. But now its just turned into a bashfest for people in affairs. Those posting here are not helping anyone. So what's the point? Does it make you (general "you") feel better to put others down? Whether you agree with affairs or not, please be compassionate.

 

Did you worry about hurting people's feelings when you were engaged in your affair?

[Spiritgirl]

Did you worry about hurting people's feelings when you were engaged in your affair?

 

I havent been in an affair. NIce try though.

 

What you are saying then is that since people in affairs arent being considerate of others, that makes it okay for you to lack compassion?

 

Again, that's really helpful.

[bentnotbroken]

I havent been in an affair. NIce try though.

 

What you are saying then is that since people in affairs arent being considerate of others, that makes it okay for you to lack compassion?

 

Again, that's really helpful.

 

 

Who's definition of compassion do we use. What level of compassion for each person? And what happens if those levels aren't being met. As is pointed out so often on this boards, there are many here from different countries and cultures. So which culture's definition and levels of compassion do we use? And are we expected to adopt others level of discipline for not meeting the criteria? I need to know these things before I opt out.

[Iconoclast]

When you say "be compassionate," do you mean "be as compassionate as a cheating spouse is to their betrayed spouse when they engage in an affair" or do you mean "be as compassionate as an affair partner is to the betrayed spouse, when they engage in an affair with their married affair partner"?

 

Please clarify which standard of "compassion" you prefer others to follow.

 

Bravo! Flawless reply.

[WTFBBQ]

What is the point in this thread? I understand OP thought it would be funny to make fun of phrases used by OW/OM - not funny by the way and I AM a "fun" person. But now its just turned into a bashfest for people in affairs. Those posting here are not helping anyone. So what's the point? Does it make you (general "you") feel better to put others down? Whether you agree with affairs or not, please be compassionate.

 

It is helping me. Catharsis is good, thank you.

[Apple_juice]

"Amazing Connection" .. that's often spoken by celebrities few months (feel free to improvise on time line here) prior to their split and public statement of "irreconcilable differences" !

Edited November 21, 2010 by Apple_juice
Typos!

[OWoman]

You could lock me up in a room with my ex for six months and I would not be attracted to her. I would build a pillow fort I could hide in and listen to my iPod.

 

Woggle, you are a better person than I. Lock me up in a room with my x for 6 months, and I'd smother him with the pillows and bury him under the pillow fort...

 

I guess the music on your iPod must be more chilled than the music on mine...

[OWoman]

TBH, the term "amazing connection" suggests to me high speed bandwidth that doesn't get dropped just when you're almost done uploading a file

 

Personally, I'm of the opinion that you can build an "amazing connection" with anyone you can be arsed enough to invest the time and effort in (provided it's mutual - one person's heavy investment and another person's lack of interest -> stalking...) but it's usually only when our hormones or something else gives us the "all clear" that we bother.

 

And dogs outrock cats, FTR

[jennie-jennie]

And dogs outrock cats, FTR

 

"Are Dogs More Faithful Than Cats?"

 

http://www.messybeast.com/cat-dog.htm

[Spiritgirl]

Who's definition of compassion do we use. What level of compassion for each person? And what happens if those levels aren't being met. As is pointed out so often on this boards, there are many here from different countries and cultures. So which culture's definition and levels of compassion do we use? And are we expected to adopt others level of discipline for not meeting the criteria? I need to know these things before I opt out.

 

Compassion is compassion in whatever culture or religion. It is defined as awareness of the suffering of others, whatever the cause. This is not to say you have to agree or support infidelity. You have shown compassion BNB from what I have read the brief time Ive been on these boards. Tough love, calling someone out on what they are doing can be done with compassion or it can be mean spirited. You can feel the difference just by reading someone's posts. From what I have learned, it doesnt help others to change or grow when they are judged and belittled. It helps them when they are understood and encouraged to change. When you yell at a child "stop doing that, you are bad!" it doesnt work. It only makes the child feel worse and that doesnt promote positive change. And no, Im not calling people who have affairs children, its just an analogy of how people learn and grow.

 

Now someone mentioned that this thread is cathartic for them. Okay, that makes total sense. Since this is the infidelity board, it seems fair to me to have a thread just to vent from that perspective. Thanks for clarifying .

[Spark1111]

My favorite?

 

We're just friends....I thought I could control it....and it just got outta hand.

[turnstone]

Looking back on this thread its strikes me that there aren't actually that many cliches used by the BS/OW about their AP, just a small handful used over and over and over it seems. On the other hand, I could go on for pages about the man I love.

[turnstone]

"Are Dogs More Faithful Than Cats?"

 

http://www.messybeast.com/cat-dog.htm

 

Most definitely! We've all seen an incredible about of evidence for that, you don't need to read a website, even LS, to know it.

[Fieldsofgold]

Research shows that if renewed contact is made with a past love, within 30 days the relationship will be back at the same level as it left off, within 60 days there will be physical love.

 

The force of rekindled love is strong. If you allow yourself that first renewed contact, control is lost. It just happens.

 

ROFLMHO! That's some rubbish research there! LOL!

 

Also have to say this: just because there is "research" to "support" it, really doesn't mean anything. For anyone here who relies on "research" to "prove" things, please spend some time studying the reliability of research results. From a scientific standpoint. You will be horrified at how difficult it is to design research that eliminated bias and prevents false results.

 

If, after seriously researching that topic, you still believe all research is reliable, I got some research that shows everyone on LS should send me 20 bucks! Preferably before the first of the month! LOL!

 

This proves how addictive A's really are. You can't control yourself.

 

I cannot imagine ANY adult in their right mind (meaning not saddled with serious emotional/mental problems) who would truly be unable to resist having sex with someone IF THEY REALLY WANTED TO. There has NEVER been a situation, as an adult, where I had sex with someone and it was beyond my control. That's just absurd! It was ALWAYS a choice! And should be! I'd hate to think someone was with me simply because they couldn't control it!

 

If a person has no control over their actions they need help. That is not normal. You could lock me up in a room with my ex for six months and I would not be attracted to her. I would build a pillow fort I could hide in and listen to my iPod.

 

EXACTLY!!!!!! LOL!

[bentnotbroken]

Compassion is compassion in whatever culture or religion. It is defined as awareness of the suffering of others, whatever the cause. This is not to say you have to agree or support infidelity. You have shown compassion BNB from what I have read the brief time Ive been on these boards. Tough love, calling someone out on what they are doing can be done with compassion or it can be mean spirited. You can feel the difference just by reading someone's posts. From what I have learned, it doesnt help others to change or grow when they are judged and belittled. It helps them when they are understood and encouraged to change. When you yell at a child "stop doing that, you are bad!" it doesnt work. It only makes the child feel worse and that doesnt promote positive change. And no, Im not calling people who have affairs children, its just an analogy of how people learn and grow.

 

Now someone mentioned that this thread is cathartic for them. Okay, that makes total sense. Since this is the infidelity board, it seems fair to me to have a thread just to vent from that perspective. Thanks for clarifying .

 

Yes it is true that the definition of compassion maybe the same in each culture, but the way it is displayed (the degrees) are different. Collectivist cultures are bit more controlled and western cultures maybe a bit over the top. You may see compassion, I know I am being compassionate, but others accuse me of the lack there of. See that's what I mean by who's standards should we use. What I see as compassion others view as something different. What they see as compassion I see as something different.

[jennie-jennie]

Most definitely! We've all seen an incredible about of evidence for that, you don't need to read a website, even LS, to know it.

 

Ah, but this site concludes that it is a myth that dogs are more faithful than cats! Doing research is never wrong. I think this just proved that point! There is always more to learn if we are open to it.

 

CATS ARE OFTEN AS FAITHFUL AS DOGS

 

Cats are often as faithful to their owners as are dogs, but they display this in different ways because of their different predatory style and different social habits. Their social habits are discussed in depth in The Unsociable Cat. Cats will greet you with a tail quiver, but dogs may fawn, lick and beg as though they are puppies begging an adult to regurgitate food after a hunting trip. Cats greet you as an equal though a really affectionate cat may roll over and present its belly for grooming as though it is a kitten greeting its mother.

 

The biggest difference is that dogs are obedient (faithful) to their pack-leader by nature, but a cat's faithfulness must be earned and can't be bullied into it. Once you have taken time to earn your cat's affection and devotion, you will find it just as faithful, or more so, than a dog.

Edited November 22, 2010 by jennie-jennie

[turnstone]

Ah, but this site concludes that it is a myth that dogs are more faithful than cats! Doing research is never wrong. I think this just proved that point! There is always more to learn if we are open to it.

 

Oh! That sort of dog.

[jennie-jennie]

ROFLMHO! That's some rubbish research there! LOL!

 

Also have to say this: just because there is "research" to "support" it, really doesn't mean anything. For anyone here who relies on "research" to "prove" things, please spend some time studying the reliability of research results. From a scientific standpoint. You will be horrified at how difficult it is to design research that eliminated bias and prevents false results.

 

If, after seriously researching that topic, you still believe all research is reliable, I got some research that shows everyone on LS should send me 20 bucks! Preferably before the first of the month! LOL!

 

 

 

I cannot imagine ANY adult in their right mind (meaning not saddled with serious emotional/mental problems) who would truly be unable to resist having sex with someone IF THEY REALLY WANTED TO. There has NEVER been a situation, as an adult, where I had sex with someone and it was beyond my control. That's just absurd! It was ALWAYS a choice! And should be! I'd hate to think someone was with me simply because they couldn't control it!

 

 

 

EXACTLY!!!!!! LOL!

 

FOG, when research supports your own personal experience in life you are inclined to believe it to be true. It saddens me that you think rekindled love is something to laugh about. It has been one of the best experiences in my life.

 

Sure, having sex with someone is a choice. But the attraction can make the choice easier, since it can be irresistible, meaning the benefits way outweigh the consequences.

 

If you truly want to support those who look at the world differently than you do, you need to respect their perspective and their choices. Laughing at it is very unbecoming.

[Fieldsofgold]

My very large hookbill bird and I have an amazing connection. Especially when he's latched on for a ride, with his claws and very large hookbill, the connection we have is really amazing. He follows me around like a dog. And he even finishes my sentences. Why, he loves me so much, sometimes it makes him throw up! LOL! (ok, maybe you have to have spent time around large birds to appreciate that one)

[jennie-jennie]

Being on LS has certainly proved to me that moral relativism exists, because the moral lows (IMO) that the pro-marriage/anti-affair posters continuously hit are unbelievable to me. And yet they remain self-righteous. Unbelievable!