The end of everything

[mrsoda]

Long story short...

 

We got in a long distance relationship

Everything was fun at first

She made some mistakes that I looked over

then i made some mistakes that we got through

 

I developed a behavior through the long distance that I always needed to

talk to her and I eventually became

needy/clingy annoying and controlling

 

She broke up with me, I wasn't ready for it but I saw it coming.. just

didn't see it coming soon...

It had been a year and a month that we were together

 

anyways... this is what happened through the breakup

She said she still loved me but didn't want to be with me

(let me down easy)

Then she teased me and flirted with me

(mixed emotions?) I stopped contacting her and eventually she started

contacting me more

so I replied after 1 or two texts

then she needed me

And eventually she stopped talking to me all the ways that we use to

and it was casual or non interested...

a Month into the breakup she couldn't stop mentioning this Guys name

and I was really jealous but kept my cool

 

I then talked to her best friend which was my friend about my feelings

and she told me She would be there for me If I needed to vent

eventually she couldn't take it anymore and I told her not to tell my ex

ANYTHING not even that I was talking to her best friend which was my friend and she said it was okay...

 

Anyways...we got in a fight ... during our breakup

and I'm pretty much thinking this is the end of the road

completely. She said her friends dont want to talk to me anymore

and I noticed they either blocked me on messenger or deleted me

and one of the friends deleted me off facebook and wont accept my request

 

I really like this girl... and I know I need to let go... I've deleted photos messages and put her stuff she sent me in the mail away into a box and put it on the top shelf of my closet...

I miss her so much and I just want us to be back together

but she said

she has no intentions of getting back together with me

and that we're not friends and we're not talking to each other

 

She likes another guy I have to accept that

She doesn't like me anymore and just finds me "annoying"

I am hurt so much and tried so much different help

I want things to work out at least once... I don't want her leaving me out of her life completely thinking "That was the worst idea I ever had that relationship was garbage"

We really loved each other and trusted each other 100% and talked every single day...

 

I don't love her anymore for what she did but I still miss her...

I really messed things up completely and she doesn't even message me anymore

and I don't want to message her to piss her off anymore

I love her... a lot... I know I'm stupid and need to get over her before I

start any other relationship but I just cant stop thinking about her

Whenever I look at the clock it reminds me of her

whenever I look at my phone it reminds me of her

whenever I look at my guitar I only think that she'll never get to hear me play again

 

As if I'm completely out of her life now her friends won't even talk to me

 

I really messed everything up and talked to my parents about this

they said tell her you're happy for her and if shes happy then you are

So I did

and she doesn't want to be friends

 

Everyone will commonly say

"Let it be or You two aren't meant for each other"

but the things we did and everything really seemed like we were

 

What if I talk to her a month from now without contact and she still doesn't want to talk... I know I need to move on

I have already got a list of things I need to do to make myself better

and I need to love myself before I love anyone else

She's moved on

and I already told her several times that the breakup was needed

cause it was... and that I've opened my eyes to see what was wrong

 

the last thing she said to me was

 

"wtf.. were not friends right now. were not talking so go"

=(

someone told me to seek professional help

another said I need to let it go

I really wish we can meet in person at least once

I don't know what to do... I love her so much

but I don't want to seem needy/clingy or even obsessed...

 

I'm trying... I really am, but its really difficult for me to remove her from my life

since I worked half a year just to save money to see her

and now I have all the money to see her and shes not even my friend anymore

 

Should I contact her in a month?

Should I never contact her ever again...

Should I send her a small christmas gift?

 

I have a feeling she might send the things I gave her back in the mail

or probably already has sent it back and its ganna arrive at my house

She deleted her pictures on facebook that had our conversations on there

and I think she's completely done with me

she has said that several times

 

Everyone says move on but I cant... I love her

I told her that I loved her with all my heart forever and always

and I didn't lie ... I still do =(

 

Sorry for so much... I didn't mean for this to be long

I apologized to her friends using the Clean slate method

apologizing without defense

they haven't replied back I don't expect it...

 

She already knows Im trying to move on and that I still like her

If she does send my stuff back in the mail I'm going to be really sad and not want them ever again probably throw them in the garbage or something...

 

I still have her favorite necklace which she gave me and a stuffed animal and notes that I all put away in a package and in a box away in my closet so I don't see them

 

....i don't want this to be the end

what do I do

[firestar786]

you know what the problem ios mate, people try too hard to remove their ex's out of their life when they should just chill out and take their time.

 

enjoy life and appreciate other things, people are impatient, its bettert o take your time.

 

sometimes theres no point in general dwindling on what happened, cos it just hurts you, if she really dont want you shes made it obvoius, if not its better to be straight to the point and ask her what she wants.

 

if she dont want you - tell her to F off, as hard as that is.

if she wants you - discuss how and the mistakes she made and get together.

 

i think people take stuff too seroiusly, as if the BF or GF was the pinnacle of their life and world.

 

i suppose breakups teach people their mistakes about themselves too, and so its actually worth it.

 

most ppl dwell on the past, but its better to work into the future, and attain the present to get the future.

 

hope this helped.

[skydiveaddict]

There is nothing left for you to hold on to. Delete her from your life completely. No calls, no texts, and quit looking at that idiotic self torture device known as facebook. Better still, delete your fb account. You can always open a new account once you're over her (if you must). If she calls, don't answer. If she calls and leaves a message don't listen to it. Delete it. Same with texts

Edited November 19, 2010 by skydiveaddict

[mrsoda]

thanks for your quick replies

 

I just got a message from one of her best friends saying

 

"You're almost 18 you need to stop pushing your problems

onto other people, Especially 3 girls you have never met"

 

I told her I was simply apologizing and that my phone isn't working well

so i can't keep talking.

 

It literally seems like they all do not want to talk to me at all.

 

I know there's other women out there etc and I'm not afraide

of being single at all I know theres girls out there waiting for me

right now...

 

Its going to take some serious time, It seems as if I shouldn't be apart of her life anymore

hence yesterdays convo

"I can't block you out of my life completely when you keep talking to my friends, they don't want to talk to you no offence, bla bla"

 

It seems as if the best choice of action right now is to not message any of them at all because it seems neither my ex or her friends that were once my friend want to talk at all

 

Is it possible I just want to see my ex in person so badly

or that I'm obsessed about her...

I don't think I'm obsessed I got rid of almost all her photos and things

but damn... if she sends my things back I'll probably never recover

[mrsoda]

=\ not going to send her any gifts

im going to contact her in two weeks and just

text her saying

 

hello or something friendly.. talk a little and dont talk again for maybe 2-3 days

until i can slowly regain her interest ..

 

I like her a lot and I really respect her feelings and I'm trying to be a better

person...but she seems like the one (i know theres plenty more the ones if i seek) i could care less about megan fox or anyone freaking gorgeous

I just like this one girl... (I deleted all her photos and things to help get over her but I cant stop thinking about her)

 

I'm trying to do different things and change my routines hang out with friends

but I always just feel empty inside without her

[skydiveaddict]

Join the military, my friend.. You will be so busy learning new skills and getting your a$$ kicked around that she will seldom enter your mind.

[mrsoda]

I've always thought about it... maybe after I finish highschool I'll think about joining...

She's so pissed off at me and says we're not friends right now

I have so much **** going on at home and with her

It feels like she wants nothing to do with me...

So in these days that I don't contact her...If I see my package

I will know she wants me completely out of her life :\