ShatteredReality Posted November 19, 2010 Posted November 19, 2010 This is a basic question. I was the WS in my marriage. We are working together to move forward. My H says I have PTSD. He has no doubt that I have it, while I reserve myself still with doubts. He's asked me at seperate times over a couple weeks (sneaky guy) about certain "symptoms" here and there. I don't know what could be the cause of MY "PTSD". I'm the one who f**ked up. Is it possible it's just that I have anxiety now (because I definitely do) that I probably brought onto myself? I don't have the anxiety attacks like I did before anymore (thanks be to Kava root)...but the flashbacks and nightmares are still there, I still get tight chested and have trouble breathing...randomly...or perhaps there are triggers and I haven't figured it out yet. A Dr will just push meds at me...if this is self inflicted then I need to learn to control it and handle it myself because that makes it situational and circumstantial - temporary - . The A was two years ago. The panic attacks started a couple of months after it was all said and done and NC was put into place. I was also in a very bad work situation, so I have been blaming that....but my H says the flashbacks should tell me what the "trauma" was. I don't talk to him freely about them...it wouldn't be fair...I just want to know if my stupidity caused me to have PTSD and if so...what am I supposed to do about that? I went to counselling right after and she thought I had a balanced head on my shoulders (right) and knew all the right steps to take toward healing (but apparently not the right ones for prevention? whatever.). I figured going to her wasn't doing anything since, according to her, there's nothing wrong with me. The attacks and flashbacks started after I was through with her though. So. Advice? Please don't jump all over me about how awful and horrible I am. I have seen that in this forum and it's not constructive. I need something other than "you're getting what you deserve you heartless B". So if that's how you feel, please don't reply to this...cause I've already heard all of that - and if you think for one second I don't tell MYSELF that then you're sorely mistaken. So yeah...honest and constructive answers only...otherwise move on. Thanks!
Owl Posted November 19, 2010 Posted November 19, 2010 (edited) A doctor (as in a medical doctor or general practice doctor) probably wouldn't be your best bet to confirm or deny your husband's suspiscion of PTSD. What you SHOULD consider would be counseling with a psychologist or psychiatrist who can make that diagnosis and assist you in treatment. Personally I'd recommend finding a psychologist who partner's with a psychiatrist...that way they can work together to properly diagnose and prescribe drugs as an additional treatment if needed. PTSD is not treated with drugs alone. It typically requires counesling and therapy, possibly with drugs as needed. Edited to add: PTSD typically doesn't display immediately after the trauma that triggers it. It can take anywhere from a couple of months to a couple of years before symptoms appear. It's entirely possible that you weren't showing any signs or symptoms immediately after the potential event...or that the cause is something entirely unrelated and occurred after you were previously counseled. Edited November 19, 2010 by Owl
michelangelo Posted November 19, 2010 Posted November 19, 2010 Read this book: Transcending Post-infidelity Stress Disorder (PISD): The Six Stages of Healing by Dennis C. Ortman http://www.amazon.com/Transcending-Post-infidelity-Stress-Disorder-PISD/dp/1587613344
whichwayisup Posted November 19, 2010 Posted November 19, 2010 All the flashbacks and feelings have to do with the OM? Is it possible it's just severe reaction/withdrawal from losing him? Not having him in your life anymore, as well as added daily stresses, work and trying to reconnect with your H? Talk therapy can help you, combo that with meds if necessary. Owl is right, get your Dr to refer you to someone to be assessed, then go from there. In the meantime, try to exercise, eat well, do yoga, deep breathing and even journal your feelings, thoughts on paper, it'll help relieve anxiety building inside of you.
Cobra_X Posted November 20, 2010 Posted November 20, 2010 My H says I have PTSD. He has no doubt that I have it, while I reserve myself still with doubts. He's asked me at seperate times over a couple weeks (sneaky guy) about certain "symptoms" here and there. Everyone else has covered good points. Why do you call your husband a sneaky guy? That sounds... disrespectful.
Author ShatteredReality Posted November 20, 2010 Author Posted November 20, 2010 Thanks for the advice - I really do appreciate it. I don't know if my healthcare covers therapy, but I will ask my dr for that referral and see about it...and thanks for the book too - I'll take a look at it. I called him a sneaky guy Cobra because he was very covert. I wasn't being disrespectful at all. He was asking me questions here and there over the course of a couple weeks so I wouldn't know that he was "psycho-anyalizing" me. He was trying to be sneaky - even he admitted that after he approached me with his theory. He knows full well I believe any anxiety or anything I have had as a result of this thing were self inflicted and will go away with time, so I think he wanted a good "points basis" for telling me I have an actual condition beyond guilt and such. WWIU - Most of the flashbacks involve the OM - we were workmates so that's why I've always blamed the job - it was a hostile work environment. Some of the flashbacks involve times we left the facility we worked at for lunch together (thankfully not too much on the really bad stuff we did that I try to not ever think about). I don't really believe it has to do with "losing" him. We've had NC for over a year and a half. I think I ran into him at a Drs office last winter...I did say hello but walked right on past him otherwise...then felt so guilty I said hello that I called my H and told him about it within a half an hour... I honestly don't know what it is...maybe because I didn't think I was capable of such atrocity? I snapped somehow during my period of complete insanity? Perhaps it goes further back to a sexually abusive situation I was in when I was 14? I haven't really taken the time to try to draw the lines together and connect any dots. I really didn't think it went beyond run of the mill guilt...and I blamed the anxiety on the past job...but it's lasting a long time and I'm becoming less and less tolerant of it. It's not getting better like it's supposed to...time healing all wounds and all...I've always thought of myself as one of those people who deals with their issues and moves past them, ready to realize the next one and conquer it...as there will always be something...
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